God, Will it be this Way Forever?

It means you get to hear some interesting guest speakers like the remarkable person you're going to hear today talk about this topic. The season of life I think when the history of the American Church is written, it'll be clear without a debate that the most influential church in America for the last 50 years has been Willow Creek Community Church in Chicago. This is an amazing place, and we have with us one of the teaching pastors, creative arts pastors at this church for over 20 years. Nancy Beach served with Willow Creek and then as executive vice president of the Willow Creek Association. She influenced the 12 thousand member churches of that Association all over the globe. She's also a best-selling author, a magazine contributor, a playwright. She is now at a brand new ministry, an urban church in downtown Chicago.

And you may be going, how did we get such an important person to speak at Twin Lakes Church? Well, she also happens to be a personal friend and mentor to our own Valerie Webb. So would you give a big TLC welcome to Nancy Beach?

Thanks so much. Thank you so much. It is great to be with you. I wish my bank account was informed that I'm a best-selling author. I'm really not. Just a few copies of those books made their way to hands, but it is delightful to be here. Your team has shown us so much hospitality. My husband's with us, and it's just been great. So thank you very, very much. He got to show René got to show his grandchild. I'm old enough to be a grandmother. I'm not blessed with that yet, but I will show you a photo of my two daughters. This is Samantha and Johanna. They are 26 and 23, both done with college now. So they live together, and they say for the first time they live together by choice, which is really beautiful in an apartment in the Chicago area. So we get to see them a lot.

I'm here with my husband of almost 36 years, and in three weeks we'll celebrate our anniversary, and that's Warren. He has been my best friend and partner and a reason that I've been able to do ministry all these years. And then my girls told us a few years ago that we needed something called the empty nest dog. I don't know if you know that this is a thing. It's a thing, and you need a dog. They said, "Mom, you need something to nurture." So this is Beanie, and we got her a couple of years ago. I know, and she's a genius too, so really, really proud of her.

Now when we got on the airplane Friday to come here, in Chicago it was 92 degrees and over a hundred percent. It felt like humidity. It was very, very difficult, and we thought we were coming to a summery place, and we had like a 30 degree drop in temperature. Really, really interesting. But when I talk to Californians, I'm always mystified a little bit because many of you think that you know what four seasons are like. You really need to understand, I say this respectfully, you have no idea what you're talking about. Absolutely none. I've lived in the Midwest all my life, and generally speaking, I do appreciate all four seasons. I wish winter was about half the length that it is, but I see the wonder and the beauty in each of the seasons.

Many poets and philosophers throughout the ages have compared the seasons in nature to the seasons of the soul, and the basic idea is that our lives are a journey, a cycle of times and experiences and eras that alternate between hope and despair and darkness and light and loss and gain. If we pay attention in every one of these seasons, there's something to be learned, and it's one of the ways that God grows us. The Bible tells us about seasons in the book of Ecclesiastes. If you have a Bible, you can grab it, or we will put the words on the screen, but it's in about the middle of the Bible in truly one of the most poetic passages that exists in Scripture. So let's read from Ecclesiastes 3: there is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens; a time to be born and a time to die; a time to plant and a time to uproot; a time to kill and a time to heal; a time to tear down and a time to build; a time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance; a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them; a time to embrace and a time to refrain; a time to search and a time to give up; a time to keep and a time to throw away; a time to tear and a time to mend; a time to be silent and a time to speak; a time to love and a time to hate; a time for war and a time for peace.

You and I are each going to experience the four seasons of the soul at various times in our lives, probably more than once. The seasons of the soul don't have a predictable length like they do in nature. You could actually be in one of these seasons for a month or for several months. But each of them is marked by a primary emotion, and as we get more in touch with our emotions, we're going to know what kind of season we're in. So here's what we're going to do today. I'm going to describe each of the seasons to you, and I'm going to challenge you to remember times in your life in the past when you were in some of these seasons. But more importantly, to discern which season are you predominantly in right now. And remember, there's no right or wrong. You're just in one.

Well, let's start with the season of fall. I don't know if you know what fall is like in the Midwest, but it's one of my favorite seasons. It's absolutely spectacular. I love the month of October. We have these blazing red and orange and yellow maple leaves, and they fall down from the trees, and then you have to do something called rake the leaves. I don't know if you know about that, so I love that. I love the sounds of football and pumpkins and Halloween. But as we put on our sweaters and the cold starts to set in, we have this small sense of foreboding. Author Parker Palmer puts it this way: autumn is a season of great beauty, but it is also a season of decline. The days grow shorter, the light is diffused, and summer's abundance decays toward winter's death. He says my delight in the autumn colors is always tinged with melancholy.

So when it comes to the season of the soul, fall is a season of transition. There are times in our lives when everything is kind of going smoothly, and all of a sudden our situation is altered, and we can feel a little shaky. We're all creatures of habit more than we admit. There are essentially two kinds of life change: one is triggered by external events, like moving, or when you lose a job, or get a new job, or maybe a new health concern comes along. But others are triggered more internally. These are seasons that we all go through that are developmental, like adolescence or newlyweds or midlife or the empty nest or the elderly season. The truth is that change happens; you can't stop it. It must happen.

William Bridges is one of the most respected experts on the subject of change, and I highly recommend his two books on transition. Here's how he defines transition: transition is the natural process by which one dies to a new life. Now all of us are going to go through change. The deeper work of transition, though, is a choice: am I going to enter into the deeper work of transition? There are three phases of transition that Bridges describes. The first phase is the endings phase. I'll talk about that in a second. The ending phase, then in the middle, there's something called the dreaded neutral zone, and then eventually you can embrace a new beginning.

We can't do well in a season of transition unless we come over here, and we acknowledge that something is ending. Something is over now, and this is very disconcerting. It's hard for us to let go. Bridges says that in the endings phase, we feel disoriented, and our very identity is being challenged. A person in the ending phase might say something like, "I don't know who I am anymore outside of that job that I had for so long," or maybe when our relationship broke up after two years, "I just feel so lost." As I said, each season has a primary emotion, and the primary emotion in a season of fall is anxiety or even fear. You know, rarely do people warn us about the lost side of making a change, but we have to remember that transitions are experiences of dying. They challenge our basic sense of who we are, and we're afraid that it will be the end of us.

My most recent experience of transition started about five years ago now when I heard, kind of all I can describe it as this sort of restless voice, this sense that it was time for me to enter into a new season. It was time for me to resign a role that I had for over 20 years, to jump into the unknown and to prepare for something new. And I felt like my very foundation and identity was at risk. I'm embarrassed to admit this, but I used to teach people way back then your identity should not be about your job or a role you play, and then all of a sudden I was in transition, and I found out how difficult it is to not define yourself that way.

The next phase is the neutral zone. This is the dreaded time in between. It's a time of emptiness where we can't clearly see what is happening. I love these words from Marilyn Ferguson. She says it's not so much that we're afraid of change or so in love with the old ways, but it's that place in between that we fear. It's like being in between trapezes, right? You've let go of one, and you haven't quite grabbed the next one. Or look at this image: it's Linus with his blanket in the dryer. Very insecure. There's nothing to hold on to. The neutral zone has been described by one pastor as the land between. You are no longer where you were, and you're not yet where you're going.

So during the season of fall, we need to ask ourselves some key questions. First of all, what is it time for me to let go of? What is over now? This requires us, I think, to soberly assess and name what we have to loosen our grip on and accept as being over now. Because we're never going to be able to embrace a new beginning until we let go of our grip on what is now done. I mentioned another change for my husband and me has been the empty nest. Our girls are on their own now, and I have to accept the fact that they're not going to now be at home in their bedrooms where they belong or sitting at our dinner table telling me all about their day and everything that's going on in their life. That era is over; that ship has sailed, and I need to admit this reality, grieve it appropriately because certainly there are things I miss about those days, but then I need to be ready for the potential joys of this new season of parenting. If I refuse to admit what is now behind us, I won't be able to fully release my girls into adulthood.

The third question I should ask myself in a time of transition is, what am I learning? What am I learning in this season of fall? Because there are always lessons to be learned. I mentioned that I learned about my identity, that it needed to be grounded in a new place. Here's now how I'm seeking to fundamentally ground my identity: I am NOT about a job; I am NOT about being a wife or mother or any of those things. Who am I? I am a treasured daughter of the Most High God. That is who I am, and I want to build everything on that foundation first and foremost. That leads me to the final question to ask in a season of fall, which is who am I trusting?

Everyone on the planet goes through change. Everybody does. But those of us who follow Jesus can choose to trust him during this time. The very essence of our faith is to trust God, not just when things are going smoothly, but when the winds of change are blowing. In Psalm 121, we read a verse that I think captures the spirit of transition and who God is with us. It says, "The Lord will watch over your life. The Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore." Isn't that beautiful? Over time, our trust bank with God grows as we see how faithful he is. He will not abandon you; he sees you. You're not lost. You might think you're lost in the land between, but God knows exactly where you are, and you can choose to trust him.

But there's another season that requires an even deeper level of trust, and that's the season of winter. You know, the past couple of months in our country and around the world, really, I don't need to tell you that they've been incredibly painful. I only need to say certain locations such as Orlando, Baton Rouge, Dallas, Nice, Tokyo, Munich. So much hardship. It feels like a cloud is hanging over us. Winter is a season of loss, and the primary emotion during this season is sadness. I doubt any of us will go through our lives without at least one season of winter. Think about a time of loss for you, either in the past or for some of you, it's right now. It could be that you've lost a job; you're struggling financially. It could be that you've lost a good friend or a close family member passed away. More people than ever in our country are currently struggling with depression, whether it's health concerns or worries about a child or, like a couple of my friends, just this overwhelming unexplainable sense of darkness and hope, feeling overwhelmed by loss and sadness.

When we find ourselves in a season of winter, it is hard to imagine any other reality. It's hard to believe that one day the clouds might actually break and the sun might break through and shine again. The last thing people need when they're in a season of winter are simplistic phrases or quick solutions offered by others. Life just isn't that simple, and you can't just snap out of it. You know, you and I tend to be surprised when life takes a bad turn and we experience sadness or loss. But the truth is our God never promised us a life that would be easy. In fact, Jesus once said, "In this life you will have trouble." It's as though he wanted to warn us to set our expectations right. He said, "In this life you will have trouble," and the key question in winter is how will you and I choose to respond to the pain?

Some people go through this season and they feel very, very far from God, and understandably many of them feel angry at God. Why would he allow these bad things to happen? All those feelings are very understandable. In fact, I actually believe our God can handle our anger. He wants to hear from us. He wants us to be completely honest with our frustrations. So first in winter, I advise us all to mourn the loss. It doesn't do any good to try to push the sadness away, to sugarcoat our grief with platitudes. I love how the psalmist David did life. If you are wondering if you can experience a wide range of emotions, just live in the Psalms for a while. When David was sad or angry, he just let it rip. He says he pours out his heart to God. He says, "Where are you? Why have you forsaken me, God? Are you ever gonna come back? Why are my enemies victorious? Have you forgotten about me, God? Have you forgotten?" That's how David expressed himself, and it can be very helpful if you're in a season of winter to write out your grief, maybe even to write a letter to God and tell him exactly how you feel.

For some people, a season of winter is a time of drawing closer to God than they ever have before because they're so dependent on him. Times of loss cause them to pray more fervently than they ever have before, to find a sanctuary in the loving arms of their Heavenly Father. And if you find yourself in a season of winter, I urge you to run toward God, not away from him. Run into the arms of the one who will never leave you or forsake you. Feel your feelings all the way down, all the way down, and express them to God. One of the most treasured verses in the Psalms promises this: "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." I think God is especially close to us in winter.

Now when you're in a season of loss, it can also be tempting to isolate yourself from other people. I'm not sure why we do this. Maybe it's because we don't want to burden somebody else. We don't want to keep talking about the same thing, or we're afraid we'll get emotional. That's true for many of us. We're afraid we'll get angry. But the truth is isolating ourselves is the absolute opposite of what we really need in winter. Instead, I would encourage you to move toward community. God created us to need one another, to lean on one another. When you're weak, someone else can be strong for you. I haven't experienced the level of loss that many of you in this room have, but in my seasons of winter, I can't imagine walking through it without my husband and some of my close friends. They have cried with me, they have hugged me, they've prayed with me, they have spoken words of truth to me when I was doubting, and I promise you if you risk opening up your pain to someone else, you will find that God reveals his love to you through them. Someone described it as Jesus with skin on. Someone will be right there with you.

Now if you have the privilege of walking alongside someone in a season of winter, resist the tendency to try to fix it or explain it or somehow get them to snap out of it. Some of us are fixers, and we need to just stop it. The best thing we could do is sit there and listen. Well, hug the person, pray for them. Simply saying those two words, "I'm sorry, I'm so very sorry," means very, very much to them when they're in a tough season. I urge you in a season of winter to trust that spring will come. It may not be tomorrow; it may not be soon. But one day this season that you're in, the clouds will lift. Hang on to that hope. Winter won't last forever, either in nature or with our souls.

Now I have to tell you, we've had some winters in Chicago, the two before the last one that I thought would never end. I remember long around April thinking, "I think this is the one God forgot. He doesn't see us. He forgot to bring spring in." And then that first daffodil pokes its head out of the ground, or I hear the first robin sing in our backyard, and I think, "Yes, he did it again. He brought spring." And the same is true with the winter season of the soul. One day spring really will come.

Now those are the two hardest seasons, the most difficult seasons. Some of you are thinking, "I come to church to get hope. Who invited this woman? This is really depressing." So I'm going to end with the two more positive seasons: spring. I absolutely love spring, in case you can't tell. It's exhilarating to me. After a season of loss, spring is a season of new beginnings, a time of new beginnings. It's that feeling of getting a second chance, of starting something new. It might be a new relationship, a new form of study, a new kind of work, maybe a new hobby, maybe even a new pursuit of spiritual things. But the primary emotion of spring is excitement.

I have a friend who's a young man at our church. His name is Sam Evans, and he is certainly in a season of spring in his life. He and his wife, Laura, bought their first home not far from our church. They just welcomed their third child, and on top of all that, Sam started a brand new job. I talked to him a few days into his new job. I said, "How's it going?" He says, "Oh my, so Nancy, I feel like it's the first day of school. I'm meeting all these new people. I'm trying to figure out the space and the location and what my job description is," and he's adjusting to new life both at home and at work. Some days he thinks, "This is exactly where I'm supposed to be. This is so exhilarating." And then the very next day he thinks, "What was I thinking? Why did I make all this change?" And that is exactly like spring.

Here's what I've learned: it can be a challenge to truly embrace the new. Many of us in a season of spring feel like this: we feel like we take two steps forward boldly into the new and then three steps back as we get scared and tentative. It's kind of like the ducklings who are learning to walk, wobbling into the water. Basically, God is in the business of renewing you and me. God is all about new beginnings. We find from the Apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 5, he says, "If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has gone, and the new has come." Are there any new beginnings in your life these days? If so, don't allow Satan or the evil one to quench your enthusiasm. He's the one who's going to try to tell you you need to stay back in winter. You need to be mired and stuck in sadness and in pain. May the Holy Spirit help you drown out his voice and enable you to hold on to hope, no matter how small your dose of hope may be. Embrace spring.

And finally, we're going to wrap up looking at the season of summer. Chicagoans who fight through these nasty winters and messy springs fully appreciate summer. We're talking about ice-cold lemonade and frisbee on the sand and picnics and barbecues and bike rides and ice cream cones and fireworks and mini golf and art fairs and flip-flops. And when you're a student in the Midwest, I assure you there is no greater day in the year than that last day of school, bursting out of the doors knowing that you have three whole months to do whatever you want and celebrate and drink in summer. So in terms of the soul, what is summer? Summer is a season of abundance, and the primary emotion of summer is joy.

You know, I have found if I'm not careful with the season of summer in nature, I can actually miss it. Here we are in the second week of August, and I'm already thinking, "Oh wow, it's going too fast." And what I want to announce to all of you today is that if we don't pay attention, we can actually miss the season of summer in our soul. It's the only season that we could easily miss. If you're in a season of fall, of transition, you know it for sure. And if you're in a season of winter, that's an enormous wake-up call. And who can miss spring? It's so exhilarating. But some of us are in a season of abundance right now, and we don't even know it. One day in your future, you might look back on this particular season and say, "Oh wow, those were the good old days." I'm not sure I knew it at the time. Life is very good and full and wonderful for many of us in this room, and we could miss it. We could get lulled into thinking this is normal and take it for granted and miss the treasured gifts of summer.

And you know what happens if you miss summer? You become a joyless complaining automaton, someone who just thinks you're entitled to all this, who just survives every day without vitality. So what are the key ingredients of a summer season of the soul done right? There's two essential ones: celebration and gratitude. Celebration is an intentional focus on the goodness of God, and it's usually manifested by some kind of party or festival. If you open your Bible someday, and especially in the Old Testament, pay attention to how many festivals there were for the people of God, and these were initiated, actually commanded by God himself. I think we have a picture of God sometimes standing up in heaven with his arms crossed and saying, "Alright, party if you must," you know, just sort of tolerating our need to celebrate, but that is not the case.

Let me read just one scripture verse that describes how God instructed his children to use money in Jerusalem for their feast. God said, "Use the silver to buy whatever you like: cattle, sheep, wine or other fermented drink, or anything you wish." We need to pause there just for a moment. Notice God is telling them to buy some special beverages. I'm just saying, it's in the Bible. Just saying. Then you and your household shall eat there in the presence of the Lord your God and rejoice. I think celebration is God's plan to keep you and me from taking ourselves too seriously, to have perspective, to be able to laugh at ourselves. There is a time to mourn, but there is also a time to dance, a time to weep, but also a time to laugh. So engage in activities you love with people you love. Those of us who know God should be known as the most alive, free, spontaneous, joyful people on the planet. That should be our reputation.

And there is one more ingredient to the summer season of the soul. We face a danger in summer that we don't wrestle with so much in the other seasons. When our lives are abundant, when everything is going fairly well, we can actually forget about God. Worse yet, we might take credit for it. We might think, "Well, all this abundance is because of my hard work. I deserve this." So what's the remedy? Gratitude. Gratitude in the summer of the soul. We must remember to give thanks. We need to be like the one leper out of ten who ran back to Jesus and said thank you. I believe that God has strewn gifts all over this universe, and by the way, just walking around on the beach and driving through your forests the other day, you live in one of the most stunningly beautiful parts of the world. If there's anyone who should be thankful for the beauty of what God made, it's all of you.

And I hope you notice. I call it going through life saying wow a lot. Should just be saying, "Wow, God, wow, God, look at that, look at that." I have a teacher of a Pilates class that I take. Her name is Ann, and she's one of the most joyful people I've known. Valerie is a very close second, but Ann is very, very joyful, and she pays attention to nature. The first class she teaches in the morning is at 5 a.m. I don't take that one; I show up at 7. But often Ann will say, while we're doing our stops, she'll say, "Did you see the moon last night?" And most of the people are wiping the sleepies out of their eyes like, "No, I kind of missed it." And you know, Ann's just so excited. We'll be doing one exercise with one of our legs, say our right leg, and it's really starting to hurt. It's starting to feel a little painful, and she'll say, "Okay, let's switch legs. Aren't we grateful we have another leg?" And I'm thinking, "Not at the moment, I'm really not, but yay for two legs!" But I truly want to be more joyful. I want to be more like Ann is.

When we experience the season of summer, let's not forget to thank our Heavenly Father, who is the source of every good and perfect gift. I have a friend who when she notices something in the sky or a flower or in nature, she just looks up to heaven and she says, "I saw that. Thank you, God. Thank you, God. Thank you, God." From the moment we wake up in the morning and we realize we're breathing, to say, "Thank you, God, for the gift of life today," and be thanking him countless times till we lay our head on the pillow at night.

You know, whatever season you are in today, God has lessons for you to learn. There's also a danger that we'll become so absorbed in our own season that we fail to notice how other people around us are doing. You know, there are people sitting in your row right now who are likely in a different season than you are. There are people maybe that you live with or that you are close to who are in a completely different season than you are in, and the Bible teaches us to rejoice with those who rejoice and to mourn with those who mourn.

We're going to end our time together a little bit differently today. I hope you're up for this. I want to invite you to watch a drama scene that portrays an encounter with two friends. As you watch, reflect and try to discern what season you think these two people might be in and also what season you think God has you in today. After the scene and a beautiful song, I'm going to come up and lead us in a guided prayer.

Shut up, Mae! What are you doing here?

I'm just picking something up for my mom.

How dare you come into town and not tell me?

I didn't really broadcast it.

You went lighter.

Yeah, it's like a year ago. I love it! Let me see. I mean, I saw an Instagram, but let me see unfiltered.

It's his grandmother's stone, and then the rest we designed.

Oh my gosh! You haven't even met Evan. That's so insane!

Well, not insane. You live in Seattle. How is Seattle?

Trendy.

Good to be back in the dowdy Midwest.

Wow, you're certainly not dowdy. You look so nice!

Oh, I have to go to this thing. I just stopped by to pick up food for Evan, who's meeting me there. I'm actually bringing him the French toast slam.

Oh, the slam! Wow. Do you remember that summer?

I mean, what summer? We lived here every summer: volleyball camp, Dudley's diner, repeat.

Yes, but that one summer we discovered the slam.

Yeah, I think I gained 15 pounds that summer.

That was after college, both of us living in our parents' basements doing nothing with our lives except eating French toast. This was our spot. I haven't been back here since Jen's wedding. We came at like midnight. Remember? We were insatiable.

Yeah, well, the word reception implies that there will be a meal. If it's going to be light fare, say light fare! I even bother paying for a dirt. It's like why not just pass out granola bars and call it a day?

Look, I was like two years ago.

Yeah, man, time flies.

Hey, I was in Seattle. I called you.

Really?

Yeah, I was about to start going around asking people if they knew where Ella McDonnell lived.

Well, there are very few people who could have helped you. Not a friendly place. I just don't have any friends.

I miss you. We haven't been good about...

I know, I'm so bad about it. But I see your pictures and stuff, so I feel like I'm up to date.

Right, right. That's basically it.

I'm sorry. What are you saying?

I just said I saw your book in Seattle. I was in a bookstore, and I said to whoever I was with, or I said to the lady who works there, "My old friend wrote this book." Did you read it? When's the paperback coming out? Do you think I can get you a copy? And I can also give you the manuscript of the next one. There's a whole essay about your backyard.

The next one? What's that about?

Another memoir.

Another memoir? Yep.

Wow. I don't know if I have enough memories for two books, right?

But you do!

Sometimes I can't believe people want to read about my trip to India.

Yeah, people who can't go there for me and Evan, like singing while we clean out the fridge.

I think people want to know it's possible that a life of such delight...

Do you actually sing while you clean out the fridge?

We do. It's disgusting!

I don't understand it.

That's awesome. Hey, I'm really happy for you.

Thanks! It got good reviews, but it hasn't been selling as well as it should have. I don't know; it's stressful. I'm actually heading to a book signing now.

Oh, I should let you go.

Yeah, I should make my way. They want me to do more of this kind of thing, build up my followers or whatever, make sure there can be a next book.

That does sound stressful, but you're doing it.

It's crazy! Actually, I sat here for years listening to you talk about wanting to be a writer, and now I run into you, a writer. It's really lucky.

Yeah, I guess. I mean, not just lucky. You're not working.

No, I know what you meant. You're right. I am lucky.

Well, I should let you go. I gotta get this back to my mom. Tell her I say hi.

I will! I will!

It was so good to see you.

Yeah, if you're ever in Seattle, I'll let you know. It'd be fun to plan a visit.

Yeah, definitely! So good to see you.

Hey, I did hear about... My mom ran into Mrs. Hawkins, who had talked to one of your dad's golf buddies, and anyway, I'm sorry about your parents. I guess that was a while ago now.

Thanks. Yeah, it was a year ago. They separated, but they didn't make it official until Friday.

Oh, so that's why you're... I came back to be with my mom.

That was kind of you.

I guess you've just been watching West Wing on opposite couches.

I bet it means a lot to her to have you here.

I don't know. I'm literally the embodiment of their relationship, so I don't know how helpful my face really is.

Oh, your face is so helpful!

Yeah, that must be so, so weird.

It is weird. Probably something larger than weird. Ever the wordsmith, weird sort of lost its meaning.

Yeah, well, is there a word for trying to get your mom to eat something? Or a word for trying not to throw up when you walk in your childhood bedroom?

Oh, Ella, I can't imagine.

It's just going to take some time, right? Someday things will feel okay again.

Yeah, I don't know, actually.

You may have good days at work, and I try to go to cool stuff that's happening in the city, but underneath it or over it, I mean, this is still true. I'm scared it will always be the truest thing.

Anyway, sorry, you gotta go. I wish I didn't. Let me just text Evan and let him know I'm on my way. His slam's gonna be cold.

I want to hear more about all of this. If I call you, will you call me back?

Yeah, yeah, will you really?

I remember at Jen's wedding you saying things were starting to go bad with your parents, and then we talked a little after that, and then what happened to us?

I guess after they started to go bad, they did go bad, and now they just sort of are. I never had anything new to report. I didn't expect you to. How many sad phone calls do you get?

I'm sorry if I made you feel like there was a quota. I'm not a fun friend anymore, and I don't know when I will be.

Do you want to grab this table? What, you gotta go sign books? There are other authors there. I'm hardly the main event, but you need to build up your followers.

You like my Facebook page? Sure! Boom! I built up my followers!

Mate, you really don't. I'm so fine. Done. I have the flu. Game over!

They don't make French toast in Seattle.

They do! It's just like buckwheat!

So West Wing, huh? Mom still pauses and rewinds every time they talk too fast?

No, that's how weird it's been. You know that used to drive me nuts?

And I'm like, "Mom, every evening sky is an invitation to trace the pattern stars." And early in July, a celebration for freedom that is ours.

And I notice you in children's games in those who watch them from the shade. Every drop of sun is full of fun and wonder.

You are summer.

And even when the trees have just surrendered