Growing in Self-Control

Well again good morning. Thanks so much for joining us here live in the auditorium or those of you watching on Facebook live or over in the venue service. It's just great to have you here with us. My name is René. I am one of the pastors here at Twin Lakes Church and I want to invite you to grab these message notes that are in your bulletin so you can follow along as we get ready to start to conclude our series, Miracle Grow.

And while you're getting those notes out I just want to add my thanks as you heard Mark say at the last minute Trent our regularly scheduled worship pastor had to focus on his home up there in Paradise and literally a day ago Adrian Moreno stepped in and let's just thank Adrian for doing a great job leading worship. Wonderful, wonderful job.

Well in this series we call Miracle Grow we have been talking about something the Bible calls the fruit of the spirit and that's a list of character qualities that are listed in one of the most famous verses of the Bible. It's in Galatians 5:22–23 and I want us to read this out loud together that's been kind of our tradition every week during this series as we've been working through these one character quality at a time but we've been doing it so much many of you have told me I got this memorized so if you've got a memorized like look at the ceiling close your eyes do whatever you need to and you're going to earn extra points with God. Okay here we go. Let me hear you: the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Good job. One of the things we've been talking about every week in this series is that I feel like this verse right here is the most essential verse for this church to be studying at the current cultural moment that we find our society. And why do I say that? Because these days when most people think of the word Christian, this is not what they're thinking of. This right now in America when most people think of us they're not going, those people are like the most joyful kind good people like ever on the planet's history. That's not what they're thinking.

In fact many people are thinking the opposite of this. Those Christians are abusive, hypocritical, judgmental, intolerant, narrow-minded people and if you're normal you hear people talk like that and you want to lash back and you want to get defensive and go nah I'm not intolerant I'm not narrow-minded and what we're talking about in this series is the way that we answer those objections is not by getting defensive. It's by being the kind of people God made us to be in Christ.

It's by being like this because looking like this is absolutely without a doubt the most effective long-term way to open hearts to Jesus here in Santa Cruz County. Agreed? Agreed.

All right well this week let's talk about the final aspect of the fruit of the spirit in this list and that is self-control, the message you've all been waiting for. Right now just to show a hands really quick this is church so you can't lie how many of you at times need help with your self-control? Anybody? Now leave your hands up, leave your hands up, look around first of all to know you're not alone and secondly those who are not raising your hands are liars. We'll be talking about that next week too.

There's a pastor in L.A. named Juma Smith Pollard and she posted a video of a little two and a half year old boy in her church who had some self-control issues and this video already has over seven million views and I want you to watch it look at the screen. Daniel. What's wrong? What happened? Why are you mad? When you feel so mad, and count to four. You are better. Just that easy right? Isn't that great?

You know what little Daniel's mom actually very wisely was teaching him a very advanced principle for self-control. Actually whether it's controlling your temper or controlling your moods or controlling your thought life or controlling your appetites or anything else. Counting to four isn't the secret but the principle behind that is did you pick up on what it is? I'm going to get back to that in just a few minutes but here's why this whole idea of self-control is so relevant right now. Believe it or not in seven weeks, 2019 starts.

That means in seven weeks Christmas will be over. And that means in just seven weeks we'll be making New Year's resolutions. Right now think about that for just a second. Any resolution. Anyone you can imagine whether it's exercise more, lose weight, quit smoking, stop procrastinating, get off my iPhone so much, stop worrying, whatever it is. What do these all have in common? Every single resolution is about self-control.

All of us in some area know where we need a little bit more self-control and now most of we're here in church. So it's easy to imagine. Yeah you know we're Christians we hear a lot about self-control in church so we know kind of the tools to get self-control. Here is the big fat problem. There is probably no simple single topic on which the Bible is more misunderstood than self-control.

Ask most people what is the Bible's answer to getting more self-control in your life and they're going to give you some version of just try harder. Here's the rules. The Ten Commandments and some other rules we came up with just try hard to keep those rules and then you won't have a lack of self. In fact for most of my life as a pastor I would say for maybe the first half of it whenever people would come up to me and say how do we get self-control over this issue in my life. I'd tell them well just pray more and read your Bible more and come to church more and don't do this don't do this don't do this. And they come back after a couple of weeks but it's so hard well try harder.

And in fact that's what I even told myself only to experience increasing frustration until I discovered that is not the Bible's answer. So this morning I'm not going to tell you any version of just try harder. In fact I'm going to tell you that trying harder doesn't work. So what does? Well let's learn today what the Bible actually says about self-control. I think it's going to surprise you but I know this can change your life if you stick with me.

Here's what we're going to do today. Our key verse for the whole series has been Galatians 5:22–23 which we just recited. But this comes in the middle of a passage that's all about self-control Galatians 5:16–24. And I love this passage. So what I want to do this morning is go through it verse by verse to get at what is really I think the forgotten biblical key to self-control. It's not like the hidden key because it's not hidden. It's like they're in plain sight all through the Bible. Yet somehow I grew up in church and nobody ever taught me this.

I would say most people who think they understand what Christianity teaches get it wrong. I would say many Christians never even see it. Let's see if you see it this morning. Start in verse 16. That's his short answer about how to have more self-control. It's not about willpower. It's about the Spirit's power. Short answer. That's the summary. Now you're saying okay that's great. I've heard that. But what does that mean? Right. You got to live in the Spirit's power. I don't understand how do I do that? Well in the next eight verses Paul explains it. And I really think this is going to be a breakthrough for some people that are in this room today.

He talks first about the problem of self-control and then the practice of self-control on page two of your notes. But first on page one the problem starting in verse 17 here. The next verse the sinful nature which we all have inside of us wants to do evil which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants and the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other so that you're not free to carry out your good intentions.

The words often you know what the right thing is to do. You know what the good thing is to do. And yet you don't do it. You know what the wrong thing is to do. And you don't want to do those things but you do them anyway. And this is really a summary of another passage Paul wrote in Romans 7 but he gets in Romans 7 it's not theoretical it's autobiographical. And Paul says this. I want to do what is good but I don't. And I don't want to do what's wrong but I do it anyway. I love God's law with all my heart. But there's another power at work within me that's at war with my mind and this power makes me a slave to the sin that's still within me. Can anybody relate to that?

This is not like some you know unredeemed person or whatever you might imagine saying this. This is a saint. This is an apostle. And that means we've all got this Jekyll and Hyde thing going on inside of us. If you feel yourself fighting that don't feel like oh everybody else is so holy why am I still fighting this battle. We all fight that battle. The battleground may be different for us your addiction may be different but we all experience this. The good news is there is a way to make progress in this battle.

Look at the very next verse in Galatians verse 18. But if you're led by the Spirit you are not under the law. Say that out loud with me. But if you're led by the Spirit you are not under the law. Now look up here for just a second because there is a gigantic important principle in this verse. But most of us miss it. We just skate right past this verse because we don't understand the context here. Don't miss this. The Spirit versus the law for the entire letter to the Galatians Paul's been contrasting these two human approaches to self-control.

There are two approaches to self-control the way of the Spirit and the way of the law. Now why is he talking about these things the entire letter to the Galatians? Let me tell you the story. Here's the story of how what's in our Bible as the book of Galatians came to be written. The Galatians were people in what is now modern-day Turkey who became some of the very first Greek converts to Christ. And they were characterized in the Bible as quote full of joy. Right. So they believe in Jesus. They're full of joy because now it's like wow God loves us unconditionally.

Then some cult-like false teachers show up to tell them that is so good that you're you believe in Jesus now. But religious law is the key to growth. It's the key to God really liking you. It's the key to getting blessings strict religious rules based on the Old Testament. You got to follow them to a tee if you really want to be a mature believer. And they did. They did what these teachers recommended and what happened was no more joy. And the Galatians became the stereotype of joyless dour super strict judgmental self-righteous religious people.

And the Apostle Paul is a continent away. He's in Europe and he hears about this happening. Do you hear what happened to the Galatians? They're all into this religious law stuff now. And Paul is so alarmed because he realizes oh this could infect Christianity for the rest of its history as it has. But he picks up a piece of parchment he picks up a pen quill and he dashes off this letter to the leaders of the Galatian church as kind of this emergency rescue operation.

And he tells them no no no no no religious law is not the answer. You can't start with the Spirit and then go back to law. And all through this letter Paul is contrasting the way of the law and the way of the Spirit. Now watch this this diagram isn't in your notes but I want you to understand this. So important to if you don't understand this you basically don't understand Christianity. And a lot of people get this confused.

The way of the law you could summarize like this. It starts with the fact that at the root of so much of our troubles in this world is human selfishness right. That's just true. Selfishness, selfish greed, selfish ambition, selfish sexual aggression and so on. It creates so much suffering. And so we've got to get rid of selfishness on this by the way these first two points all world religions agree on these first two points. So how do I get rid of selfishness right? Well the way of the law is a system of self-denial laws and rules like don't be a glutton, don't murder, don't lie, don't cheat, do go to church, do learn all these Bible verses all fine rules nothing wrong with the rules.

But ironically when you focus on the rules it makes people even more self-focused because you're all am I doing the right thing and am I not doing the wrong things? What's that list again? What's that list? And ironically this acts to even more selfishness because I am self-focused all the time on me and my performance and that creates even more suffering because would you agree with this? Legalistic self-righteous religious people are some of the meanest people on the planet right? Because they're so unhappy because they can never measure up even to their own standards and they're unhappy because they see all around the world is filled with people who aren't following these rules. It just makes them dour and joyless and that's exactly what Paul's been saying here.

This is the problem. Some of you know this because you left your churches when you were younger because you were experiencing exactly this cycle. Either you got burned out by this cycle or you got burned by the self-righteous religious people caught in the cycle. So how do you get off this self-absorbed cycle? If you're trying to get self-control that's a problem. Well Paul contrasts the way of the law with the way of the Spirit and it starts in the same place. There's a lot of selfishness which leads to suffering but the answer is not a system. The answer is the Savior.

And this is radical because when you believe that God himself comes into the world and loves me unconditionally and forgives all of my sins completely. Jesus on the cross took all my penalty of my sins on himself. And when I simply receive that free gift I couldn't earn it. I don't deserve it. As we just sang what happens when I get when this captures my imagination I become Savior-focused not self-focused. I fall in love with my Lord for his grace for his gift to me. And this leads to what someone has called blessed self-forgetfulness.

I'm not focused on my failures because I realize they're all forgiven and not out of the focused on all the rules because I know they're not going to earn me any points from God. I'm just focused on Jesus and his beauty and then that relieves suffering because his love that I'm feeling I'm basking in is just going to overflow to other people. And Paul is arguing in Galatians that this is actually in the long run going to produce more soul-deep behavioral change than any system of rules is going to produce.

And so these two things the law and the Spirit are what Paul's been contrasting this entire Galatian letter. And so here in this verse he's saying yep yep yep we all have that Jekyll and Hyde thing that I just talked about. We all struggle with that. But Galatians you've been born again by the Spirit. You receive God's Spirit when he washed all your sins away. So when you have that problem of self-control don't go back to the law. What Paul is saying is this don't let anyone tell you that rules are the key. You're not under the law. You're under the Spirit. Don't let anybody make you go back to that. Don't let anybody put that burden on you. It doesn't work. And it just puts you back into legalistic slavery.

So what does work? Page two. And this is where it gets even more surprising. If you think you know what the Bible teaches about self-control you may be in for a revelation here. The practice of self-control Paul gives three principles as a foundation. Now I want to recommend something to you. You can find more biblical principles for change at our 12-step recovery groups here on Monday and Thursday night. I recommend checking those out. But start with these three. The three essentials.

Number one take an honest self-inventory. An internal audit. I ask myself questions like what are my weaknesses right now? You know I ask myself where have I lost my own self-control in the last couple of weeks. And this is why Paul gives us this list which comes next in Galatians chapter 5. Which is widely misapplied. This list this is meant as a self-diagnostic tool. This is a mirror to examine yourself with not to judge other people with. It's not about them. It's about you.

He says when you follow the desires of your sinful nature. Well the results are very clear. He's almost like why do I even need to list anything? Because you know when you're following the desires of your sinful nature. But he sort of gives four categories. First sexual things. Sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures. And we all know these are a real issue today. They make the headlines in many different ways. Sexual harassment, sex abuse, sex addiction, porn addiction, sex trafficking, and so on.

Now maybe some of you are like well Dodge double it there. He gets into more subtle things. Idolatry, sorcery. And you're like well in those days they had actually had idolatry and sorcery. That doesn't relate to us. Idolatry just means putting something else in the place of God in your life. Finding your worth in your job or your performance or your car or your house or whatever it is. Your net worth. You know that is idolatry. You can make anything in your life into an idol.

And sorcery philosophically it's not this is not Harry Potter. This is just pulling God's strings. Trying to pull God's strings instead of letting him pull your strings. Trying to be the master of the universe instead of realizing that God is really at the center of the universe. And then he goes to relational stuff. Look at this list. Hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy. Are we in our society struggling with a few things on this list right now? So much hostility. So much division. Our society is all about the division between us and them right now.

And it's easy for us followers of Jesus to get caught up in that same mentality. That's right. I also want to be divisive and hostile. Paul says those are acts of the sinful nature. And then he mentions what we might call substance abuse issues. Drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Paul writes this list 2,000 years ago. Human nature hasn't changed very much, has it? We like all struggle with the exact same stuff.

But again, watch the way you approach this list because some of you are hearing this list and you go, "You just described my uncle!" You know? This. Or whatever. This list is not in the Bible so you can judge your uncle or your spouse or your kids. This is here so you can look at you. And so I can look at me. Now he's just saying you need to be honest about where you're going. However, word of warning on this step. You do need to be honest about where you're going. But don't beat yourself up.

We need to be self-aware, not self-obsessed. And I say this because a lot of people get stuck on this step. I tend to get stuck on this step. My nature, maybe you're like me, I'm not often in denial. If people point out something I'm struggling with, I'm like, "You're right! In fact, I'm worse than you think I am because I know what I struggle with." What I get stuck on is, "Man, I am so bad." Please do not think you are doing yourself any favors if you sit around and feel guilty over the ways that you lost self-control. If you stay there, that is just putting yourself down and it's keeping you down.

Right away, as fast as you can, get to step two. Believe God can help you. Listen, some of you are saying, "René, I hate messages on self-control because they make me feel terrible. I am out of control. I hate this topic because it makes me feel like such a loser." Please hear this. Don't go there. It is never too late. Don't ever think there is no hope for you. Don't ever think God is done with you. Don't ever think God hates you. Don't ever think that because of your past there's no future for you. Believe God can and will and wants to help you.

Here's how. Next verse. "But the Holy Spirit produces." Stop right there. Circle the key phrase, "The Holy Spirit produces." It's by God's power, not your willpower. Believe God can change you from the inside out. What does he produce? This kind of fruit in our lives. All the character qualities. We've been looking at this series, love and joy and so on. And then Paul says an interesting phrase, "There's no law against these things." Now what does he mean? I think partly he means, you know, nobody's going to make a law about how much joy you can feel. Sorry you've reached your joy quota for the week. We've got to cut you off, you know?

But also I think he's saying something deeper. He's saying these character qualities go beyond what religious law can accomplish in you. These are character virtues. People don't do these things because some rule told them to. They do these things because it's who they are becoming. And that's God's goal for you. This goes beyond the law. This is above the law. This is past anything some religious law can do for you. Inner transformation. And this is what God is going for.

The goal of the Christian life is not perfect church attendance or memorizing the entire Bible or any other sort of external accomplishment. Those are all means to an end perhaps. But the goal is this. And this is going to happen inside of you as point three, you refocus on something better. And here is that key to self-control that I missed in my life for so long. Don't miss it. Here's where it all ties back to that little boy Daniel in the video at the start of the message.

What is the genius behind counting to four for a little two and a half year old boy? The magic isn't in the number four. The magic is it gets him off the mental loop of his bad mood. He didn't even know why he was mad. Why are you mad? I'm just mad, right? It gets him off that loop and focused on something else. For a four-year-old boy counting to four, that's something he's got to focus on. You know, he's got to get it right. And at a deeper level that same principle holds true for you and me.

Look at the bottom of your notes. The key to self-control is not primarily resist or regret. It's just refocus. And for so much of my life, I thought the key to self-control was resist. I will not do that. I will not do that. I will not do that wonderful, luscious, beautiful thing I want to do. And then when I fell to regret, I'm so sorry I did that. I'm so sorry I'm so stupid, stupid, stupid. And of course all that did was just focus me on my sin and my failures even more. Paul says no. Refocus and refocusing involves two things. It means stopping focus on one thing and renewing focus on something else.

First, I move on from the dead past. Move on from the dead past. He says those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. Now that sounds esoteric, but what all he means is move on. Your sins, the ones you did that you feel guilty about and ones you haven't even done yet, they were all crucified to that cross with Christ for real. And that means your debt for all those sins, all the sins in the grand total of your life, including the ones you haven't done yet, those were all forgiven. The debt has been cleansed forever.

It means God will never, ever, ever, ever hold any of your sins against you ever. So move on. Stop focusing on those sins. Don't obsess on those sins. Don't keep focusing on what's over, what's dead. Now you might still have bad habits. You might still have bad patterns, but you think of that old self as dead. Don't approach self-control like this. I better not spend like that, not look like that, not think like that, not talk like that, not do that. When you do that, what are you thinking of constantly? Exactly what it is you want to stop. He's saying, "No, just consider it dead. Move on from any focus on the dead past and walk with the living Spirit."

And this is coming full circle. Paul began this thought in verse 16, and here he comes back to it like two bookends to a great passage. He says, "Since we live by the Spirit, we've been born again into God's family, not by our own goodness, but by His Spirit. Then let us not go back to the law to try to get self-control. Let us simply keep in step with the Spirit." What's that mean? The verb translated "keep in step" means daily, continual. What he's saying is it's just a step-by-step process, one day at a time.

Those of you in recovery get this. Just day by day, step by step, you develop your conscious contact with God. You think about God, you focus on Him, and you're going, "Okay, I really want to do that, but how do I do that? How do I walk daily with the Spirit? Just tell me what to do." Well, annoyingly for you, if you tend toward legalism, Paul does not give a checklist. Here's how to walk in the Spirit daily. One, two, three. He leaves it a little bit vague. Now, why do you think Paul does not ever, in anything he writes in the New Testament, ever give you a checklist? Here is how to walk with the Spirit and not be a legalist. Why doesn't he do that?

Because the checklist would just become another form of legalism. You'd be like, "Let's see, number one, sing worship music. Okay, praise the name of Jesus. Check. Number two, read the Bible. Let me find a passage here. Okay, the high priest shall lance the festering boils. Okay, check. What's next?" And your focus is on you and your behavior instead of on him again. This is why Paul doesn't give a checklist anywhere, but all through his letters, he gives little hints, drops little examples of what a life-keeping in step with the Spirit daily looks like.

He says things like, "You know those things that are excellent, praiseworthy, noble, good? Yeah, think about that stuff instead of your worries. Think about that good stuff." He says things like, "Be filled with the Spirit as you make music in your heart to the Lord." Do that. He says things like, "Always give thanks to God every day." Those are all a part of it. It's a mindset. You refocus. You count to four. You focus on something else, and the best thing to focus on is improving your awareness of God and his love and his power.

And this principle is all through the Bible. Look at page three. Hebrews 12:1 says, "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, not on your sins, not on your failures." Romans 8:5 says, "Those who live according to the sinful nature, they've got their mindset on what that nature desires, even if they're trying to stop. But those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on something else and what the Spirit desires." It's a mindset.

I'm bringing this in for a landing here, but I want to show you one of my all-time favorite passages of Scripture on this. Colossians 2, starting in verse 20. Listen, this is so radical that what the Bible says is actually the opposite of what people think the Bible says on this topic, and this is so clear here. Paul says to the Colossians, why do you keep on following the rules of this world such as "Don't handle, don't taste, don't touch"? Such rules are mere human teachings based on things that deteriorate as we use them.

Now circle the words "rules" and all the times it says, "Don't." That's exactly how most people think the Bible teaches us to have self-control. Rules and "Don'ts." Now watch this next verse. These rules may seem wise because they require strong devotion, pious self-denial, and severe bodily discipline, but they provide no help in conquering a person's evil desires. Wait, what? Does this say the rules provide some help? They're good for something? No, what does it say? They provide what? No help.

Now we do need rules for a few things, you know, like traffic control and stuff like that, but he's saying they're not going to transform you. Why not? Because as we've seen, they actually focus your attention on the very thing you're trying to avoid. I believe this isn't the Bible. So what's the solution? Very next verse in Colossians. So since you've been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.

Not on all the distractions, not on all the temptations, not on all the restrictions on the Savior. Refocus on the Savior, not the system, and not the sin. I saw this great video the other day, just amazing. A trained eagle is brought to the top of the highest building in the world in Dubai, the Burj Khalifa. And its trainer goes down to stand in the middle of a city park, many, many stories below, and then they release the eagle and they attach a little camera to the back of the bird so you can see where it's looking as it's trying to get down to its master.

It's amazing. It looks up at the top of the building. That's where I came from. Now where am I going? So how will this eagle find its goal, its master? Now think of all the distractions in sight at this moment, all the delicious little rodents, right? But it's focused on one thing, the hand of its master. And when it spots it, it goes into a tuck. And it just dives down without even flapping a wing until it gets to its Lord, its Savior, its master. Isn't that amazing?

Church, that is a great analogy for how you can have self-control in a very distracting world. You know, it was just looking for one thing, the hand of its master. It was not flying around going don't look at that, don't look at that, don't look at that, don't look at that, don't look at that, don't look at that. It was an eagle, not a pigeon. Right? In your life, are you an eagle or a pigeon? Religion, the way of the law, what it's teaching you is to live like a pigeon. Don't do that, don't do that, don't do that, don't do that, don't do that.

The way of the Spirit teaches you to focus on one thing, the hand of your master. The bottom line is this, self-control is less about self-denial than self-forgetfulness. Little Daniel, his mom didn't tell him, deny your anger, try real hard not to be mad. She just got him to forget it and the same principle is true here in a deeper way. I'll close with this, some of you know when my dad was dying of cancer in his hospital room, one of the last things he did was sing the old hymn, "Turn your eyes upon Jesus. Look full in his wonderful face and the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of his glory and grace." That's the secret to self-control.

Let's turn our eyes on Jesus right now, would you pray with me? With our heads bowed and eyes closed, I don't know what's out of control in your life, but would you, just silently in your own heart, acknowledge that to God, just confess to God, whatever it is that you're struggling with self-control about, because that's step one. Then would you pray to God, "God help me to believe you can change me." In fact, maybe for the very first time, some here may want to say, "God, change me, save me. I put my trust in you, Lord Jesus." And then third, Lord, help us to keep focusing on you. We can get so distracted by temptations and controversies and politics and everything else, help us to stay focused on you just through our adoration of you and especially in what you did for us on the cross. And it's in your name we pray. Amen.