Radical Change

Well good morning you may be seated and happy new year everybody. My name is René I'm one of the pastors here at Twin Lakes Church and right up the bat one of the first things I want to do is I really want to thank Adrian Moreno for doing a great job speaking last weekend. Didn't he do a great job? We're so blessed to have Adrian and Mark here and I have to tell you also it has been an amazing past couple of weeks like 13 days for our family.

I mean first of all for the TLC family just two weekends ago if you can believe it. It was not even Christmas yet and we were in the midst of nine jam-packed Christmas candlelight concerts almost 16,000 people came to those nine concerts put together was just amazing and then Christmas Eve and Christmas and we had tons of relatives in and New Year's Eve and then last weekend something very major happened in the history of our family. My daughter was married last Sunday night right here on this stage and there she is what a luminous bride huh.

I gotta tell you to see her wed here in the church that we've called home for the last 20 years was just absolutely amazing for us and I have to tell you I was so nervous leading up to this wedding far more nervous than I than I ever am preaching to you guys on Sunday morning. In fact I was smiling in these pictures that were taken before the wedding but that's a frozen smile can you tell my mind was a million miles away I was thinking about my performance even though I didn't have a 30-minute sermon I had one like half a line but I was thinking about it over and over and over.

Her mother and I do. No no no her mother and I do no that's not to the point where I didn't even remember how it was supposed to be intoned her mother and I do her mother and I do what's the right way to say it I was getting all confused you can see it on my face can't you and then I was stressing over what I was wearing I'm wearing the right thing here she could put my hands casually in my pockets or down at my sides and then I'm gonna have to walk down the aisle and I was starting to practice how to walk natural have you ever told yourself walk naturally you can't do it.

It's like do I do a heel toe first or toe first I was just overthinking everything until I looked around and we were alone me and my daughter standing in that lobby right there waiting for those doors to open and the weddings to start and I gotta tell you time just stood still and I looked at her and she looked at me and suddenly flashback time I remembered all the times she played wedding as a little girl and this is the face I was seeing next to me that I was walking down the aisle all those years that she and the neighbor girls played wedding and they had bridesmaids and they had a bride they even had a caterer making cookies and there was never ever a groom and it didn't matter at all you know what's a groom.

And then I flashed forward and I remember the time that she got a crush on a Christian singer and she told me in the car daddy I am serious I'm gonna work it out so that I can marry Phil Wickham and she was just focused on that for a while and then fast-forward a few more years and I remember the time that this little girl came back from her first year at college and she said very seriously daddy the way that these other girls want would just want to get married just sickens me the way they're focused on it just sickens me if I get married at all it no offense but I'm gonna wait till I have a PhD and I'm old like 32 you know.

And then I remembered the day that she came home and told me about the most wonderful boy she'd ever met and now here I was standing next to her and the doors were about to open and the wedding was about to begin and I just started to cry and I looked at her with tears rolling down my face and then she started to cry and she said daddy don't make me cry tell some stupid jokes now I said I don't know any stupid jokes she said yes you do the ones you tell all the time and so I told one and on the punch line just like it was on cue the doors opened and it started and one moment led into the next walk down give her away see the ring see them kiss see them rejoice see them dance dance with her one last time and then it was over and they were walking to their car and they were moving to Hawaii which is where they are right now.

It was awesome but I got to tell you remember I was telling you about how I was so focused and so worried about my performance and what I was gonna say and how I was gonna say it well once it started I never did worry again about how I was supposed to say anything. In fact I even messed up a little bit but you know what it didn't matter because from the moment that she and I stepped down this aisle I looked down at the end of this aisle and I saw her husband-to-be Jordan just beaming with love for her and he's such a great guy I'm pretty sure and he better be.

I looked down here where Scott's sitting right now and my wife was sitting right there and she the love and the joy it was just overflowing from her in the form of tears she was just leaking love and leaking joy all over the place and I walked down and I focused on the two of them these two people I love so much and the person I love so much on my arm and I never did think about myself again the whole night because I was just wrapped up in the love and the joy of the moment.

Now here's my question for you has that ever happened to you? Have you ever been so absorbed in the love of somebody else that you forgot yourself that you became totally unself-aware? Well you know what that is the key to life that's the key to the spiritual life and that's the key to change radical deep organic change.

You know it's the first weekend of the new year and you're probably ready for a fresh start I know I am so why don't you grab your message notes that look like this there are the bulletins that you got when you came in these will help you follow along because we're gonna start the new year with a new three-week series like Adrian said last weekend a lot of us set New Year's resolutions right goals for the new year but if we're honest many of us don't really believe that things can change or even if they can't change we don't really believe that they will change.

Well in the next three weeks of the short little series we're gonna give you three steps you can take toward change and this first week we're gonna talk about the foundation the real root of really radical change and I call this message radical change because most people even Christians totally miss this even though it's on practically every single page of the Bible.

I call this radical change because I think this is gonna blow your mind and I call this radical change because it's radically different than what any other system or any other person or any other magazine article is going to tell you about change. You will only find this concept of change in the pages of Scripture but it's so easy to miss because it is so radically different in fact it's so radically different that you're really gonna have to hang with me for the next few minutes but then it'll all come together at the end and I think this could become the foundation for change that will last you not only through the rest of this year but for your whole life and for eternity.

So if you're ready for that turn to one of the most obscure passages of Scripture that we're gonna go through this year 1st Corinthians 3:21 through the beginning of chapter 4. If you have your Bibles with you turn to that if you don't have your Bibles with you here in the auditorium there's Bibles right in front of you and if you're watching over in the venue service in Munski Hall there's paperback Bibles in the back and if you're at home you can go on to Bible Gateway.com or another great website like that 1st Corinthians 3 starting in verse 21.

Now let me just set this up so that you can understand what Paul's talking about in these verses these are the ruins here of the city of Corinth. Now 20 centuries ago this was a bustling place it was a port city like San Francisco very cosmopolitan and had one of the earliest Christian churches but the Corinthian church was filled with division. This church had originally been planted by Paul but then later other preachers and evangelists came through and they each sort of developed a fan base and instead of people just rejoicing in all this diversity like how we got René we got Adrian we got Mark we got David's we got all these wonderful pastors right instead of people rejoicing in that at the Corinthian church it just resulted in power plays.

Some of these different people were going I should be in charge no I should be in charge and some of the people in the church were going well I'm a fan of that person well I'm a follower of that I'm a disciple of that person and Paul says no you got to stop this division right now let's talk about humility and let's get past all these power plays. So that's the context for this he says so then no more boasting about human leaders all things are yours whether Paul or Apollos or Cephas or the world or life or death of the president of the future all are yours and you're of Christ and Christ is of God.

This then is how you want to regard us as servants of Christ and as those entrusted with the mysteries God has revealed now it's required that those who've been given a trust must prove faithful and now watch this here these next two verses are the key to what we're talking about this morning so I want you to read these two verses out loud with me so let me hear you.

I care very little if I am judged by you or any human court indeed I do not even judge myself my conscience is clear but that does not make me innocent it is the Lord who judges me.

Okay right out of the gate I want to give thanks to Tim Keller for insights about this I heard a sermon by him that changed my life and what I'm basically gonna do today is paraphrase him and here's why because if you want to change really the question is what's the human problem maybe I want to lose weight or I drink too much or I'm an alcoholic or I tend to lose my temper but what's the underlying problem is it just that I'm stressed or just that I don't have enough willpower or don't have enough friends or don't have enough self-belief what's the problem how do I change?

Well you'll see on page one of your notes here the traditional answer for centuries in human society the answer to why people got into trouble was hubris that's the Greek word for pride people just think too highly of themselves that's the problem thinking too much of yourself getting kind of too big for your britches and so the traditional answer to this problem is shame fall in line feel guilty okay that's the traditional answer but now our culture is exactly the opposite modern answer the problem is thinking too little of myself.

The idea that we have is that people misbehave because of a lack of self-esteem right the reason that husbands beat their wives the reason that people steal the reason that people do wrong is because people have low esteem and so the solution is self-esteem they need to be pumped up they have too low of you with themselves so traditionally the problem was seen as hubris or pride so to fix people we shamed them knock them down called them bad lock them up disgraced them.

Currently the problem is seen as the opposite low self-esteem and both of these approaches according to the Bible are sort of jumbled and simplistic. In fact there was an article in New York Times magazine called the trouble with self-esteem reporting what the experts have known for years and that's this there's no evidence that low self-esteem is really a problem that contributes to other problems.

The author writes three withering studies on self-esteem have been published in the US of the last year and have the same central message people with high self-esteem pose a greater threat to people around them feeling bad about yourself is not the source of any of our country's biggest problems and she says it'll take years and years for modern Americans to really accept this and here's the reason why what's attractive about the low self-esteem theory of behavior is that you don't have to make any moral judgments to fix people up you don't have to call somebody bad they just have bad self-esteem right however it doesn't work.

What's fascinating about the passage we're looking at today is that this is an approach to changing human behavior that's totally different from the traditional shame based approach and totally different from the modern or postmodern self-esteem based approach. This is going an entirely different direction what is it what's the biblical answer well the Bible says here's the human problem the natural condition of the human ego the natural state of the self just a few verses after our text in chapter 4 verse 6 Paul says then you will not be puffed up.

Now Paul's using a word for puffed up here that's also translated pride in some other versions that's very unusual it's not the hubris word for pride it's a word you'd six times for pride in 1st Corinthians it's used by no other author in the Bible Paul himself uses it only one other time outside this book and most commentators now recognize that Paul's trying to teach the Corinthians something by the way he uses this word in this book because it's a word for pride that means over inflated or swollen or distended beyond its proper size.

This is related to the word for bellows and it is a very painful picture it evokes the image of something that has been overinflated because air's been pumped into it and it's now ready to burst much like this balloon Paul's saying this is a picture of human pride of the natural human ego only imagine this balloon as your stomach just distended and full of not a food but just of gas some of you that is your actual state right now but that's not important right now.

Paul says that is the natural condition of the human ego and I think this image is so evocative that we're meant to meditate on it a little bit here and again here's some of Tim Keller's insights Paul by using this word is saying the natural human ego is first of all empty and you see that at the top of page two of your notes it's puffed up with nothing but air see there's a god-sized hole in your soul and so you try to fill it up with something something that'll give you worth something that'll give you purpose something that'll give you a sense of specialness but of course if you put anything in the place of God it's not gonna be big enough it's gonna rattle around in there it's gonna be empty and it'll be painful right when something's swollen and distended it's painful.

You ever notice that you don't really recognize or notice the parts of your body unless there's something wrong with one of them right like I didn't come to church today thinking my toes feel awesome you know my elbow is working great I only think about them when there's something wrong with them and that means there's obviously something wrong with my ego because it calls attention to itself all the time oh I got my feelings hurt I feel insignificant I felt really snubbed I wonder what they thought of me.

It's hard to get through a day without our ego calling attention to itself in some way it's like a constantly stubbed toe there's something wrong with it because it's always calling attention to itself and consequently because it's empty and because it's painful it's incredibly busy it's busy because it's trying to fill its emptiness up it's busy with two different things comparing and boasting.

Paul says then you will not take pride by comparing one against another. CS Lewis is famous chapter on pride he says pride is by nature competitive it's a great quote pride gets no pleasure out of having something only out of having more of it than the next person you may think you're proud of being successful or intelligent or good-looking but really you aren't you're only proud of being more successful or intelligent or good-looking than other people.

And when you're in the company is somebody more successful or intelligent or good-looking than you you lose all pleasure in what you had because you really had no pleasure in it you were proud of it pride destroys the ability to have any real pleasure because we're so busy comparing and we're busy trying to rack up achievements to boast about.

I have a teenage son and he's awesome any other parents of teenagers here can I just see a show of hands because there's strength in numbers look at that that's that's awesome well listen I read the articles and I see the emails that come from school I watch some of the other parents and I know that you're supposed to encourage your kids these days to do lots of stuff not really to make them better people but why to get them into college to rack up a resume right.

How do you go feed the hungry at the homeless center I don't really want to do that I know but it would look so good on your college application you know what why don't you join the chess club I hate chess I know but chess club would look great on your college application.

Well maybe that's okay for high school but listen a lot of people live their whole lives like that only doing things in order to look good so they can get more friends or do more job advancement we're busy we're empty we're in pain we're busy and we're fragile because if you're over inflated then what happens is you're in constant danger of being deflated.

We're fragile see if you're puffed up and not filled up by something other than air then whether you're puffed up or whether you're empty it's the same thing because you're just empty the whole time.

Now I want to quote somebody as an example of this and I don't want you to get the wrong idea here I am NOT it's a person you're gonna recognize but I am NOT saying that this person is worse than me or worse than any of you I'm not judging this person in fact I think she actually shows a tremendous self-awareness and I really actually admire her for her candor here but look at this fascinating quote.

Madonna said my drive in life comes from a constant fear of being mediocre I push past one spell of it and discover myself as a special human being but soon I fear I'll be mediocre again unless I do something else because even though I've become somebody I still have to prove that I'm somebody my struggle has never ended and I guess it never will.

She actually knows herself better than most of us know ourselves she's saying my ego cannot be satisfied she's saying my desire for self-worth is actually never fulfilled why? Because my natural pride is insatiable it's a vacuum it's a black hole I become somebody and I realize I still have to become somebody don't blame her she's ahead of most of us because at least she realizes the truth about how fragile our natural condition is because it's empty and it ends up being completely self-focused on filling the emptiness.

Now by contrast look at how Paul's self-identity works how his ego works this is the supernatural possibility Paul says I care very little if I'm judged by you or any human court now the word judge there is the same word for verdict and he says one thing I want you to know is I don't care what you think and I don't care what any human no matter how important they are I don't care what they think.

He says I've come to the place where my identity is not tied in any way to your verdict or evaluation of me. Now these days people would say that's right Paul it shouldn't matter what other people think the only thing that should matter is what you think about you. Now is that where Paul goes? No Paul says indeed I don't even judge myself he says I don't care what you think and I don't care what I think why not because he says that's a trap too.

He says my conscience is clear but that doesn't make me innocent he won't fall into the fallacy of thinking high self-esteem is the answer see Hitler probably had great self-esteem Hitler probably thought he was awesome but that didn't make him innocent right and Paul says that doesn't make me innocent either.

Paul says I'm not looking to you for my identity and I'm not looking to me for my identity as Tim Keller says he says Paul is moving off our map Paul is moving into territory that most of us haven't even ever thought about let alone actually experienced he's saying I'm so free of worrying about what other people think I don't care about what you think I don't care about what any human court thinks I don't even care what I think.

Paul was a man of just this incredible serenity because I want you to think of this Paul here Paul by any standards right Paul's has to be one of the great movers and shakers of human history he's got to be in the top ten for sure probably the top five or six changed the world with his writings and with his work and yet look at what he says in 1st Timothy Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners of whom I am the worst not was the worst and the worst.

So now how could somebody be totally aware of his severe moral flaws and yet not be writhing in guilt because he doesn't connect his sins with conclusions about whether or not he's bad he says yeah absolutely I'm the chief of sinners but that's not going to stop me from establishing the church and changing history.

He's totally aware of all of his faults he knows he's far from perfect and yet he doesn't condemn himself really Paul is totally astounding I don't care what you think I don't care what I think is that high self-esteem no is that low self-esteem no he's stopping the whole game he's like I I don't even go there in any direction.

Paul's ego isn't puffed up it's filled up with something substantial Paul saying I've come to the place where I'm not even thinking about about myself anymore. And this is the biblical key to really radical change, not thinking less of yourself, not thinking more of yourself, but in fact it's forgetting myself. Actually forgetting myself.

Not going, I'm not going to smoke, I'm not going to smoke, I'm not going to swear, I'm not going to, I'm not going to lose my temper, I'm going to be a better person, I, I, I, I, I, it's forgetting about yourself.

Do you remember how I was so focused even on how I was going to walk and how I was going to intone my one line at the wedding, but then I was just distracted by the beautiful bride on my arm, my daughter and my wife and that was nothing compared to what I saw in Jordan's eyes. Elizabeth's groom, man, he had only had eyes for her. He was absorbed in his love for her and she was struck by his love for her as well.

Well the listen, the Bible describes your relationship with Jesus as being like that. Like he's the groom and we are all the same. And as we are absorbed with his love for us, we totally forget about walk this way, say it like that and we relax and we just stop thinking about ourselves.

And then what happens is we start doing loving actions, not because we're reading off a list or have a memorized, but they flow naturally because we're walking toward his love. Tim Keller calls it the blessed rest of self-forgetfulness.

Now think of what it would be like to really live like that. Just imagine that. On the one hand, your ego wouldn't be devastated by criticism because if you're devastated by criticism, then you're putting too much stock in what people think. But the answer is not, well here's what they think. I know what I think.

See on the one hand you have people who can't take criticism, then on the other hand you have people who never take criticism because they don't think they ever need criticism, right? And those are both problems. But if you've got a biblically healthy ego, you can say, oh criticism, it's a chance to change. It's a chance to learn.

Man, don't you long to be that kind of person? Don't you long to be the kind of person who can walk by the mirror and not stop to admire yourself? Check me out. Going to do a Kaepernick. Look at that, you know? And on the other hand, you don't walk by a mirror and cringe. Oh, I'm looking so old and so fat, right? You're not impressed and you're not cringing. Wouldn't you long to be the kind of person, wouldn't you long to be the kind of person who on the one hand doesn't daydream about hitting self-esteem home runs? Oh, if I could only do that, then I'd show them and then I'd really be loved.

But on the other hand, also doesn't cringe for days whenever you do something wrong. I'm so stupid, stupid, stupid. Wouldn't it be nice to just be free of all that? Thinking about the Winter Olympics coming up, wouldn't you love to be able to be the skater that wins the silver and yet still is able to rejoice in the artistry of the one who won the gold? Man, that's where you can be.

Now some of you go, "Well, René, that sounds awesome, but I actually don't know anyone who fully lives like that, including you, René. Totally fair, because you'd be right. But we can incrementally get there. How? How do I get there?"

Well, you have to read closely. Paul says, "Number one, I don't care what you think. Number two, I don't care what I think." So what does he care about? He says, "Even if my conscience is clear, that doesn't make me innocent." And the word he uses for innocent is the same word he uses everywhere else for justifies. I don't care what you think. I don't care what I think. Then he says, "It's the Lord who judges me. I only care what God thinks."

See, in the world, we're in a trial. It's like we go to a courtroom every single day. It's just the truth. People are judging you. They really are. If you're a teacher, your students are. If you're a boss, your employees are. If you're an employee, your boss is. Every single day, it's like you're on trial. And that can weigh you down sometimes.

Yet Paul says, "I don't care what they think. I don't care what I think. I only care what God thinks." And so what does God say? Well, because of what the Lord Jesus Christ has done, the trial is over. In Romans 8:1 it says, "There is therefore now no condemnation for you in Christ Jesus." That's the verdict. The trial's over. The verdict is in. And God has declared me righteous because of what Jesus Christ has done.

You know what's interesting? In every other human system, the performance leads to the verdict. There's a verdict based on what I just did. But in Christianity, the verdict leads to the performance. It's because God has declared me to be free and to be loved and to be fully chosen. I am a blessing to others because I've already been blessed.

How is that possible? Because Jesus Christ went into the courtroom and He took our place. He took the trial we deserved. He took the condemnation we deserved on the cross. And He says, "I did this for you so that the Father declares you free." Now, I really want to emphasize this because if you're just here checking this out and maybe you never really understood the difference between Christian change and any other kind of change, and maybe you thought being a Christian means you're going to try really hard to be good this year. You're going to go to church. You're going to read the Bible. That makes you a Christian. That makes you a better person.

No, Christian change operates totally differently than any other system for change. There's no condemnation for you in Christ Jesus. You're free. And then you change because you are blessed not to be blessed. Now, there's a lot to this, and maybe you're wondering, "Well, why did Jesus have to die? How does that work?" If you're new, stay, keep coming until you understand the whole picture. But on the other hand, some of you say, "Well, René, technically I believe what you're saying. I've been coming to Twin Lakes for years, but every day I find myself getting sucked back into the courtroom.

And every day I find myself worrying again about what other people are going to think of me and how they're judging me, and I beat myself up and I judge myself and I care too much about what I think." All I can say from personal experience is that you have to keep preaching the gospel to yourself every day, the gospel of grace. And when you find yourself coming into that courtroom again on the spot, say, "What am I doing in this courtroom?" I don't have to worry about what others think. I don't have to worry about what I think. I only have to care about what God thinks. And he says, "I'm his beloved child."

Remember the verse we started with. Paul says, "All things are yours, whether Paul or Apollos or Cephas or the world or life or death or the present or future. All are yours and you're of Christ and Christ is of God. You don't have to strive anymore for it. It's all yours, ahead of your performance." And so you can rest in God's verdict. Listen, when you feel under trial, remind yourself court is adjourned. Court is adjourned. And then go live like it.

Let's pray together. Would you bow your heads with me? With our heads bowed, what we're going to do right now is to just give you a moment to apply what we've talked about, to not think about yourself, but to focus on the love of the bridegroom for you. I want you to think of looking in the eyes of Jesus. And when you think of looking in his eyes, what do you think you're going to see there? There's no shaming there. There's no trying to make you feel guilty there. You know what you see there? There's only grace. There's only love.

With your heads still bowed, I used to think of communion as a time to morbidly think of all my sins, but it's not. It's a time to think of Jesus and what he did for you so that you're free. Heavenly Father, help us to pull this truth into our own lives and begin to practice it, how free we would be, how different we would be. Show us how to make this central. Show us how to be everything we can be in Jesus Christ, in whose name we pray, Amen.