I Will Choose My Story

Choosing a Good Year is the name of our January series. Grab your message notes that look like this, and if you're joining us online you can go to TLC.org/notes to download those so you can help follow along with the message. And I'm going to start with this question. What makes humans different from other creatures? Now I know biblically we Christians understand that we were created in the image of God, but from a scientific perspective, how does that play out in our behavior?

People used to think, well, language, right? And then of course they've discovered that other animals like whales use rudimentary language, like in their songs, to communicate. So you can't quite say language. And then people thought, well, tools, but of course animals like crows use wire that they change and bend to use as tools to get at food. So it's not exactly language and not exactly tools. So what is it that makes humans different? Really unique. It's probably more than one thing, but a recent article in Time magazine explained how some scientists had a hunch.

And so they did some experiments, and I'm simplifying this for you here, but what they did was they created some puppet shows without words, just actions that demonstrated a plot, a storyline. And they showed these puppets to several groups of very young children. And it's interesting that the very smallest kids would begin anticipating the storyline. They understood that a story was being told and they would anticipate the next plot development. Like, oh, that crazy guy is about to jump out and scare the other puppets. And they would be delighted with the storyline that they could easily predict, right?

Then they showed some similar nonverbal puppet shows to primates, chimps. And they never got it ever. So their conclusion, the scientists, not the chimps, was this: what makes us different as humans? Unique? Well, at least one thing is storytelling. And when you think about it, it really makes sense, doesn't it? We human beings love stories. Storytelling is part of what makes us essentially human.

And in fact, it's so much a part of us that we do it without even thinking. It's like our fish even aware they're in water, probably not. They just exist there without even, they're just part of the, storytelling is such a part of us that we live and breathe stories. Events happen to us in our lives and it's inherent, it's innate, it's part of our DNA that we want to make sense of random events by putting them into narratives, into stories to help make sense of them.

Here's what I'm talking about. I picture it kind of like this: the random events that happen to us are kind of like dots on the timeline of our lives. Those are the events and the stories that we tell ourselves about those events to connect them together, draw a narrative and help to predict where the storyline in our lives is going and how these events all connect together and what they prove about our lives.

Now, one dot might be a personal crisis, like maybe you lost your job or you received a cancer diagnosis or you're going through another tough time, maybe you lost a spouse. Another dot in your life might be a global crisis that everybody's going through, like for example, the COVID situation right now. One person tells the story to connect those dots that trends down. These crises confirm their storyline, that their lives are going downhill, the world is crumbling, the nation is doomed, God is against them and these events prove that story.

But another person can fit those same exact events into another storyline that trends eventually up. These events are trials that are going to strengthen me. God's going to use even this for good. Yes, that bad thing happened, that job loss or I lost my loved one or some other personal crisis, but you know what? I see God working. Same exact events, two completely different storylines.

You following me? This year, guess what? In 2022, all sorts of events, different crises are going to happen in your life. Events that are uncontrollable, unforeseen and unwanted. You have a choice. You can't choose those events, but you can't choose the story that frames those events and the story you choose will change your experience of the events. That's what we call this series, choosing a good year.

You can't choose the events. I'm not saying that with a positive attitude you can change what the universe gives you or something like that. I'm saying that the same exact events can happen to two completely different people, but the different ways that they frame those events will change the way those events are experienced.

Some of you are looking at me blankly, let me explain it this way. Ever go see one of those Pixar movies like the movie Up or one of those? How many of you have ever seen a Pixar movie? Let me ask this. How many of you have ever cried at a movie? Anybody ever cried at a movie? I cried these Pixar movies every time this particular scene I cry buckets, right? Now, how many of you have ever laughed or felt uplifted at a movie? Anybody? Raise your hand if you have, right? Everybody's cried, everybody's laughed. Those emotions are real. You cried real tears. You laughed real laughter, but those events in the movie didn't happen to you. Those emotions were created entirely by storytelling.

And this is why this is so important because the same exact thing is true of your everyday life. Many of your emotions, emotions of fear or of confidence, of joy or of apprehension, are actually created by the stories you choose. Stories about the way the world is going, the way the country is going, the way the COVID crisis is going, what God is doing in the world.

And here, as a pastor, here is why I'm so concerned about this. Honestly, I have been burdened by this. I have been longing to share this with you as a New Year's message. And listen, let me just be very clear. I'm burdened by this and emotional about this because this is a lesson I am learning. My wife and I just had something happen to us personally in the last week that we both kind of cried together about. But then we looked at each other and we said, "Well, what's this weekend's message about?" That's an event. Now, how do we choose to frame that event?

And we said, "You know what? Here's the way we're going to frame that event." And it took a couple of days, but our attitude about those events has already, we were just talking about it this morning, it's already completely changed because we've learned that the emotions are created by the storyline that we attach to the events.

I mean, I was talking to a gentleman, I hope you don't mind if I point you out, but our gentleman Mike, his beautiful wife Linda just passed away. I'm looking at Carrie, whose beautiful son passed away a few years ago. And I, talking with Mike and talking with Carrie, these were tragic events. But I know both Mike and Carrie frame the loss of those loved ones in the context of their faith. And they both believe that God is with their loved ones now, and God is using the passing of their loved ones in great ways.

Those were tragic events. But the storyline that Carrie and Mike are riding around those events completely changes the emotion attached to those events. And here's why as a pastor, I'm so burdened by this. We as Christians are letting other people feed us their stories. And we are starting to hear and live and tell other people's storylines, other people who have their own agenda, instead of owning the Bible's story about our events.

I just read that the number of people engaging with online news sources has doubled in the last two years. That's probably not a surprise because of all the stuff that's been going on. Unfortunately, according to a nonpartisan organization called News Guard, the amount of false or misleading news content has also doubled. And what they've been finding is Christians are one of the main groups who are apt to pass along false or outrageous or anger-inducing narratives.

We Christians are supposed to be about good news, right? But too often these days, our stories are actually about bad news or even fake news. So what are we going to do about this? I often think that we Christians are like baby birds who are just going, "Just feed me, feed me," and we're willing to gobble up whatever worms people feed us when it comes to their storylines. We need to be more discerning about that. Every story we hear is not gospel truth.

In fact, one of the most important things we can do is practice discernment about what we hear. And that brings me to our key Bible verse today, 2 Corinthians 10:5. Paul says, "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God." And what he means by the knowledge of God is what we know about God from the gospel, that God is a loving God who is ultimately in control of history, who loves you, and who rescues you, and who loves the whole world, the knowledge of God.

And in fact, he says, "We take captive every thought." Read this line out loud with me. "Take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." Christians, we need to take this much more seriously today. Do you agree with this? Listen, you and I need to take back control of our story. I can't do this for you. This is on you. But don't just be a baby bird with your mouth open every single morning when you're scrolling through your newsfeed, passively allowing somebody else to feed you their storyline.

To change the way you are going to emotionally experience this new year, to change the way that your neighborhood and your family is going to emotionally experience, to help change the emotional climate of our country, you and I need to choose to do three things. Jot these down. Number one, I need to choose the story I hear. Choose the story I am allowing myself to hear. And here's why this is more important than ever. Follow me here.

For most of human history, the storytellers were the elders, tribal leaders, religious leaders, parents, right? And what was the purpose of the stories that they told us? Fables and fairy tales and other kinds of stories. It was always some kind of moral guidance. Like this is how to live your life. Even if they were entertaining stories, it was like, you know what? Here's the right way to go, okay?

For the first time in human history, the primary storytellers in our culture are not our elders anymore. It's basically the media. And by media, what I mean is it could be social media or most often some kind of giant media conglomerate, right? So what's the purpose most of the time of the stories they tell? Well, they're businesses. So what's their purpose? I would say this: eyeballs, in one word. They want to get your attention. They want likes, right? They want ratings. They want thumbs up on their posts. They want more people watching their TV program.

So how do they get eyeballs? What kinds of stories get our attention? Now, I'm not saying they do this for nefarious reasons. I don't blame a newspaper for wanting to increase its subscriptions. I don't blame a cable TV station, you know, for wanting to get more viewers. But just instinctively, they know that if they want more viewers, if they want more likes, they got to frame events in one of three ways. Because here's what gets our attention the most: stories that lead with sex, violence, or threats.

And so every event, every dot on the timeline is either told in a way that is as sexy as possible, as violent as possible, or as threatening as possible. And right now, the last couple of years, we've been at a stage where, and I'm not, this is not a partisan thing. It could be right or left or just neutral. Just people just wanting to get views. Stories typically are told in the most threatening angle imaginable. Any innocuous story. I mean, think of the way you hear things framed these days.

You could listen to the sports radio station and they might have a preview like, "News out of the Warriors front office could spell doom for the franchise's championship hopes. More after the break." Right? That's threatening. I got to hear it. And it's just about some player sent down to the G League, right? Or you're watching the preview for the 11 o'clock news. "Could your kitchen countertop be the hidden killer in your house? News at 11." Right? Everything is told in the most threatening way possible.

Now, we already established that storytelling creates emotions. Right? You go to see a movie, you cry. You go to see a movie, you laugh. So is it any wonder right now that we live in a culture where people are filled with frustrated lusts, fear, and apprehension? Always waiting for the other shooter drop. Of course they are. Those emotions are being created by the stories we are being told. But you have the ability to stop and choose to hear a different story.

Specifically, as Christians, we need to get back to the Bible's story. Now the Bible has a big story with a lot of beautiful things, but just for example, the Bible says that God has pardoned for my past. My past sins are forgiven. Praise God. Raise your hand if you rejoice about that fact. Right? Thank God. The Bible says, and these are all verses from Romans 8. What a great chapter of the Bible. I hope you read through the whole thing. But look at Romans 8:1. In fact, read this out loud with me. Here we go. "Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." That means the little whispering voice that you hear sometimes that says, "You should still feel so guilty about that." God probably doesn't love you. How dare you volunteer for your church? Somebody with your background. Are you kidding me? That voice is the voice of what someone the Bible calls the accuser. And he is not telling God's story to you.

You need to choose not to hear that story and instead believe that God loves... The bad news is we are all sinners. Doomed. The good news is God loves us and sent a savior to rescue all of us lost sheep and to completely transform our lives. And there is no condemnation. Say that out loud with me. No condemnation. God has pardoned for my past and God has promised for my future.

Here's the way the world's history is going. The Bible says what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory He will reveal to us later. I love what Mother Teresa said. She said, "Compared to the glories of heaven, all of our suffering will seem to us like one long ago night in a bad hotel." For all creation is waiting eagerly for that future day. One day God is going to set all things right and that means all suffering, all sin, all evil, all disease, all injustice, all racism, all environmental destruction. The arc of history is not trending down. The storyline of history is bending inexorably toward the perfect restoring will of God.

Now will we have events that are bad? Yes, horrible. Jesus was crucified. But though Good Friday happened, Easter Sunday was coming. And that is the arc of the storyline of the Bible. God has pardoned for my past, He has promised for my future, and in the meantime He has purpose for my present. Your life is not absurd. Look at Romans 8:28 and we know God causes, look at this word and say it out loud with me, what? Everything. So work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them.

Now listen to me. This was spoken to Christians who were in a really bad state. These were Christians who were living in a Roman Empire where they were oppressed and they were under subjugation like in some of the worst countries that we hear about on the news. And yet the Apostle Paul says, guess what? God can even work out that and redeem it.

I found this fascinating. The psychologist Dan McAdams studied the stories that people tend to tell about their lives. He interviewed people, asked them about their lives. So he noticed something really interesting. And think of the people you know and see if this correlates with their lives. He said the people who seem to live in despair and feel like their lives are meaningless, they tend to tell when they tell stories about their lives, they tend to tell what he calls contamination stories.

And a contamination story is like this. Yep, I got my dream job but it destroyed my marriage. Nothing ever works out for me. Let me tell you about the house I missed out on buying. Let me tell you about the stock I should have invested in but I missed out as usual. On the other hand, people leading satisfied and confident lives tend to tell what he calls redemption stories. It doesn't mean that their lives actually are going better but they talk about their life like this. Yep, I got fired but you know what? It helped me discover my true calling. Yep, you know what? I hit bottom but hitting bottom is what helped me conquer my addiction.

You know what? My flight got delayed and I was stuck in an airport for eight hours but guess who I met? I had the most incredible conversation. You know what? I'm going through cancer treatment right now. God is using it in amazing ways in my life, right? That's a redemption story. Well, in the Bible, God's telling a giant redemption story so are you choosing to hear God's redemption story about your life or are you telling yourself or listening to somebody else's contamination story?

We need to choose the story we hear. Let me just say some of you free right now. Some of you you're still listening to a cruel parent tell you your story about yourself. Some of you, they've been dead 10 years and you are still letting them tell you your story about how worthless you are, you're never going to amount to anything. You don't have to let them tell you your story anymore. You can choose to hear a different story, you can choose to hear God's story and then once you hear that story, what you need to do is to choose the story that you live.

The story you live, it's not just about hearing it, knowing it. Some of you're like, yeah, I heard all those Romans verses in Sunday school but it's about living it when those events, those crises happen to you. For example, you know the story of Bethany Hamilton, famous surfer, bitten by a shark when she was just 13 years old and lost her left arm. That was a big dot on her timeline but listen to how she lives, the storyline. She says it was a terrible thing that happened to me. She's not denying it. We're not talking about denial. That was a terrible thing that happened to me but so many good things have come out of it that it has turned into a beautiful thing.

Now somebody else could have told a contamination narrative about that story. Is this a contamination narrative or is it a redemption narrative? That's a redemption narrative. It reminds me of Joseph's story in the Bible. You might remember it. He is thrown into a pit by his brothers, sold into slavery, falsely imprisoned in Egypt, yet he eventually rises into power and then when there's famine he's able to save his family and he tells them this, "You intended to harm me but God intended it all for good." That's the storyline that's connecting those dots for him. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people.

This isn't just a Bible story. This is your story. It's like a friend of mine Rick Alvard, a great example of what I'm talking about. A few days ago Rick and I did a Zoom chat. Here's about three minutes of our conversation. Watch this.

Well thank you for joining me Rick. You have quite a story. Life was going along as normal and then all of a sudden on July 16th 1997 I was involved in a pretty significant auto accident. I was transitioning from one freeway to another freeway or freeway transition bridge in Southern California. As I travel along a young driver going a little too fast hit my Jeep Grand Cherokee in the back corner. The Jeep probably rolled three times over and over and then went off the transition bridge landing at about 65 feet below on a full gas tank, flipped over on the roof and slid down by the edge of the 91 freeway. So as you can imagine that kind of a fall. There were significant injuries. Really medically speaking I shouldn't be here today. God did amazing miracles and but in the process I did lose my weight, my feeling in my legs and use of my legs for my waist down. So it was a pretty significant day but the fact that I'm here and God spared my life that day and as part of his story I'm very thankful for that.

So Rick you've been paralyzed from the waist down since that day. You have been in a wheelchair since that day and you could fit that event into a storyline of resentment and blame and anger but you have chosen a different storyline. Tell us about that.

Well my wife and I, Laura and I we've decided we decided early on that we wouldn't be asking the why questions because this is part of God's story. We'd be asking what next and so our approach has been all along. Not to be asking what if I had asked one more question that day and I wouldn't have been on the freeway at that time and the meeting I was in or what if I the meeting that day was actually moved up 30 minutes from what it was originally scheduled to be. Well why did that happen? We could do it all day long but what we've chosen to do is not really look at those questions but look at the question of what next? What does God have for us and how can he use us in the remaining days we have on this earth to impact his kingdom? And so as you look at my story and think about it it's really not a matter of what happened to me that day. It's really what's more important is how does this fit into God's overall story. People have found the Lord for the first time as a result of our accident. People have been drawn closer to him. So at the end of the day it's really God's story and we're believing and trusting that story is good for us in the end. It's hard now it's not an easy life but in the end it will be exactly what he is calling it what he is as willed what he wanted.

Do you have anything to say to people who are going through a crisis right now in their lives? I would say to people in crisis now and there's a number of people that are hurting in so many different areas. I would say folks stay focused on what God is bringing to you. What God's doing in your life. How he's working in your life. As a result of what he's doing in the end you'll be a better person.

Isn't that good? Is that a contamination story or a redemption story? That's a redemption story and in fact in doing that video Rick was actually modeling our last point. I must choose the story I tell. Choose the story I tell about those dots about that I tell myself and that I tell other people.

So check this out. Tanya Luna is a fascinating researcher. She wrote an article that got published in the journal Child Psychology and Psychiatry about an experiment that she did. She showed a number of children a series of intense images like a dog growling while measuring their brain activity. Now do you think they were afraid when they saw a picture like this? Of course their fear levels just spiked. Then she had them look at the same exact images again but this time with comforting captions like this dog is defending a little girl. Then they measured their brain activity again. Their fear levels dropped down to almost nothing. She says it was like they were seeing completely different photos.

Now the point of her experiment was this. She says adults who are able to get past setbacks and trauma do the same thing. Watch this. She says they don't deny the traumatic event. That's very important but they add a personal narration that redeems the picture. I grew. I learned. I deepened. I am a better person now. What's your storyline?

Think of Paul's story in the Bible. One of the last books of the Bible that the Apostle Paul wrote was the book of Philippians. He's in prison in Rome under the Emperor Nero and he says I want you to know brothers and sisters that what has happened to me. Wait what what just happened to him? A series of shipwrecks and unjust treatment and scourgings. What has happened to me has actually served to advance the gospel. Those are the dots. Here's his storyline. As a result it has become clear throughout the whole palace garden to everybody else I'm in chains for Christ. The gospel is being spread. This stuff's going good.

So here's my suggestion. I want you to ask yourself what story am I telling myself about these events in my life? How am I framing them? Maybe like me you have what I call the negative narrator in your head. You know what I mean. Anybody have a negative narrator who says things like you're so stupid. Here we go again. You always make a moron out of yourself in social situations. You're just gonna do it again. You can't do that. You're just gonna fail. That is not God's story.

God's story that you need to hear and live and tell yourself is you know what you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. You know what there is now no condemnation for you in Christ Jesus. You know what we have the spirit of God inside of us empowering us. You need to call out that negative narrator. What story am I telling myself and then what story am I telling others. Because you know with every attitude with every action you and I are telling people a story about our faith. And the story many people hear is not positive and part of that is on us.

We Christians and for understandable reasons but when we're not careful about the way we tell our story we can make it seem like our story is primarily about politics. About policing morality. Are we sure we're telling them the gospel story? I just got this video from a woman named Sherry Lansing. This year our local outreach director Robin Spurlock was able to help Sherry with a special project and Sherry sent us this 60 second thank you video. Watch this.

I live in supported housing and we have 15 units and I put on a Christmas dinner and Thanksgiving dinner and this year has been kind of tough with finances and having getting the supplies for the dinners. And Robin took and gave us produce for our dinner. We have enough potatoes for our meal and apples enough apples for the apple pie and veggies and we are so blessed to have Twin Lakes in our community. And I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. You have blessed our whole building and I think the love of Jesus is just shining through. They know that Twin Lakes loves them. Even people who hate Christians.

Did you hear that? When we reach out to our community, yeah praise God, this is a thank you to our whole church. That's a value for us but it's because when we reach out to our community you understand this. It's not just niceness. We're telling a story about what God is like.

So this year let's make this a commitment. In fact would you say these words out loud with me and let's say it as a vow really. A commitment. If this is your heart say this out loud with me whether you're joining us from home or whether you're here in the auditorium. This year I will choose the story I hear. Choose the story I live and choose the story I tell.

Now how can we do this in some practical ways? As we just wrap up very quickly I want to suggest a couple of applications. Have you ever heard the term doom scrolling? Doom scrolling is when the first thing when you wake up you whip out your portable digital device and you just scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll and let your social media feed or your news aggregator feed just tell you just feed you like a baby bird just feeding all those worms all those negative storylines that's called doom scrolling.

I want to suggest something. Instead of doing that first thing when you wake up crack open your Bible or if you really can't resist this go to your Bible app go to our daily devos at tlc.org/devos and instead of doom scrolling do what I call hope scrolling and tell yourself the Bible story before you let anybody else feed you their worms.

Second application I want you whenever you're feeling some emotion that's negative about something this week ask yourself what's the story I am telling about that that's producing that negative emotion in me. For example what's the story you're telling yourself about why you hardly ever call your mom or dad or your brother or sister. There's a story you're telling yourself and that's the reason you're not doing that. What's the story you're telling yourself to justify why you are walking around being angry all the time.

When you feel yourself despising a group of people despising fill in the blank democrats republicans rich people poor people people of a different skin color people of a different language people who are immigrants whatever it is if you set homeless people if you set yourself kind of despising them not being frustrated but really despising stop and go wait what story am I telling that's eliciting that emotion.

Now what happens to that narrative when you hold it up to the redemption narrative of the Bible because here's what I want to suggest that you and I do to every story that we hear I want to suggest that we demolish arguments and every potential that sets itself up against the knowledge of God and that we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. Amen.

Let's pray together would you bow your heads with me. Lord we want to people to be people of good news not bad news and not fake news. Help us connect the dots of our lives to the hope filled redemptive storyline of the Bible. Thank you for that and God maybe for the first time some here are realizing that this is what following Jesus is. It's about a whole new way of seeing life. It's about being part of a redemption story instead of a contamination story and perhaps some people right now may want to say God I want to take my place in that story. I place my trust in you. Help me to hear and live and tell that story the story of the crucifixion and resurrection and return of Jesus Christ every day in Jesus name. Amen.