Biblical Principles of the 12 Steps of Recovery

I came to TLC because my life wasn't working and I quickly discovered the recovery program, which at the time was in the cry room. And for the first six months I was there, all I did was cry. I grew up in a family environment that was very, very chaotic and I had a lot of issues dealing with that chaos mostly. I had a food addiction problem, led into drug addiction problem, led into a people addiction problem. Addictions are everywhere. I've struggled with addictions from a very young age and just trying to learn how to cope with big emotions and pain and anxiety and depression. I choose all kinds of things except for dealing with the things that were really disturbing me.

And when I came to Twin Lakes and to the recovery program here, I felt like I'd found a home. I'd been to plenty of secular recovery programs and meetings, but they all felt a little lacking. They really didn't have a spirit or a soul to them that is the basis of all 12-step programs. And when I came to TLC, the people and their recovery story and their healing and just their who they were encouraged me to continue to go and to stay with it. I got baptized. It was like the icing on the cake or the cherry on top of the sundae was that baptism and that really accepting Jesus as my Savior, and my life has never been the same.

The first step is the hardest, is admitting your powerlessness, that your life isn't working and there's nothing in your power that you can do to fix it. Two and three aren't so hard. Three is hard for some people who don't have God or a really concept of a loving God, but that's what the rest of the steps are for, to get them to learn that God is a loving God and is there to help you. Step four is what we call inventory. It's just like doing a business inventory because you want to get rid of the stuff that's not working for you and keep the good stuff. So when you share your step four inventory with your sponsor, it's when God comes in and starts to make those changes happen in you.

So when you become willing in step six, after you've looked at these things and you've written them down in step four, you look at them in step five with someone else. It takes all the scariness out. But back to step six, you know, being willing, like being willing to let it go, to give it up. Yeah, it's not working for me anymore, God, here you go. And oh, and step seven, okay, God, I'm ready to let it go. Would you please help me? Will you help me let it go? And getting on your hands and knees and saying that prayer, right? God, here I am, take all of me and help me do what you want me to do. Help me become who you want me to be.

God didn't design us to hate ourselves. God designed us for love, period. And we blew it in the Garden of Eden. Now we're trying to get back there. And the only way to do it is to let God's love and grace heal you and then let that shine out to other people. The only way you can get healed from that self-loathing for me was to let God in. Well, Unstuck is the name of the series that we've been in, looking at the biblical principles behind the 12 steps. This has been a personally really powerful series for me. I was a child of an alcoholic growing up. My parent has 30 plus years of sobriety now, so I can say that the 12 steps are powerful. Yeah, 30 years.

And it's not just from substances, right? We all have things that trap us in addiction. And so understanding the 12 steps and the biblical power is so incredible. And we're so thankful to our speaker today, John Ortberg, because the book that he wrote called Steps has been a framework for us this series. And John Ortberg is uniquely qualified to speak to this subject. He has a PhD in clinical psychology. He's a prolific author and speaker. He's been hugely influential in the modern church. And I actually had the privilege of working with his wife on a young ministry. People in ministry who were young, not really young anymore, that's okay, when I was younger.

And I got to know her and was just in awe of her. And just the Ortbergs are an incredibly powerful and honest and vulnerable couple. And we're so, so privileged to hear from John today. And we want to welcome him with a large, huge, wonderful TLC welcome to speak to us today. Well, I'm super honored to be here. I love this church. I've gotten to be for events before, but never for weekend services. So I'm very, very honored. Thank you. I love this subject.

If you're visiting today, TLC is working on a series going through what are known as the 12 steps. And what a lot of people don't realize about them is where they originated from. A guy by the name of Bill W., as you might know, was kind of the first AA-er, and then Dr. Bob. But they became part of a Christian fellowship. It was called the Oxford Group. And for the first four years or so, there were no 12 steps. There was no blue book. There was just a group of people who were trying to follow Jesus and engaged in these practices, like total surrender and seeking guidance from God and doing a real serious look at themselves and confessing to each other and being useful in service to God.

And out of that, the 12 steps came. But they really were simply about a way of following Jesus Christ. And it turns out that when folks would do them with sufficient intensity, they would get sobriety from their addiction thrown in. And so the idea is, if that could be helpful to people who are identified alcoholics, then what about everybody, whether or not you have an identified addiction, whatever you think about addiction. So that's the idea. The idea behind this series is that AA got the 12 steps from the church and now the church needs them back.

And a little review, if you haven't not familiar with them, you may be real familiar with them, or they may be quite new. As we heard that video. The first one is really, really difficult. A lot of people, when they think about coming to church or turning their life over to God, what they think is, I got to try harder. I got to try harder to be a good person, try harder to read the Bible, try harder to be nice. No, no, no, no, no. The first step is kind of the opposite. It's to realize I can't. I can't. I can't overcome my habits, my addictions, my sin, those problems that are deep inside me. I am powerless over alcohol, you fill in the blank, whatever it is. My life has become unmanageable.

So when we gather here, we don't gather as people that have got it together. We gather as people who are broken and needy and inadequate. And so that's why in meetings it will start off like, my name is John. I'm a sinner. Then you all say, hi, John. You don't just leave me standing there without saying anything. Because, you know, like at a meeting, at a meeting, I'd say, my name's John, I'm an alcoholic, and everybody would say hi, John. So that's what one writer on this topic calls the celebration of personal inadequacy. People in churches often wonder, how come church can't be more like an AA meeting?

If you've ever been to an AA meeting, they're just raw, deeply honest, often gut-wrenching, heartbreaking stories and raucous laughter. And people wonder, how come church can't be more that way? And the answer is it can if those of us who attend church are willing to be more like addicts. And to meet on the basis of raw honesty. We are deeply imperfect people. I look better than I normally do today because I am actually wearing Pastor Renée's clothes. True story. My wife, Nancy, and I were in a hotel room. I went for a run. She was going to go have breakfast with somebody. She had her car. And so I didn't make clear she was going to take the hang-up clothes with her in the car. Then I needed my clothes left behind.

So she took all the clothes. And I ended up in our hotel room in my underwear. And Nance was at breakfast, so she wasn't accessing her phone. So Valerie Webb picked me up. I had to call Valerie. She was dog-sitting for Renée. And say, I need clothes. And so she picked me up, and these are literally Renée's clothes. The pants were a little short, but other than that, it's not bad. And I said, it's a good thing that you could bring some clothes, or else I would have to preach in my underwear. This is a verbatim quote. Valerie said, that's everybody's worst nightmare. Well, it would be disturbing, but worst nightmare? Right? Mauled by an animal? Decapitated? Anyway.

So we all meet on real common ground. The first three steps, as you may know, are sometimes summarized in a real memorable way. That first one, admitted. Powerless. Life unmanageable. And then second, came to believe. Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. And then third, made the decision to turn our lives and our wills over to the care of God. And those are sometimes summarized as, I can't, God can, I think I'll let him. I can't, God can, I think I'll let him. And then now each step leads to the next step. They're very, very organic because they flowed out of life.

So that next step then is once I've made that surrender, I have to take a look at my life, really honestly and do a fearless and searching moral inventory. What's good that I should hang on to? What needs to go? And then once I do that, that's hard work. That takes some time. Then I have to go on to the next step, which is admitting to God, myself, and one other person the exact nature of our wrongs. And that's a real challenging step. But then we don't stop there. Then we go on to the next two steps. That's what we're going to talk about today.

So step six, after I have admitted my powerlessness, I can't do it, I need help, reached out to God, came to believe, not without any questions, not with any doubts, just enough to keep working the program, just enough to keep working the program. And then surrender. Then take an honest look at myself. And then get clear with God and me and one other person. And then we move deeply into issues of character in steps six and seven. So step six is became entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. Became entirely ready. And all of the steps flow very deeply from Scripture, from the story of Scripture, from the teachings of Scripture.

Just one example, this is from Psalm 51, which is attributed to David, the great King David, and is thought to have been written after that horrible episode where he commits adultery with this woman Bathsheba and then commits murder with her husband. And by the way, it's always odd to me that in the church often, you know, there'll be kind of respectable sins and then not respectable sins. And David, one of the great heroes of the Old Testament, adultery and murder. And he's someone who writes scripture, man after God's own heart. Cleanse me with hyssop and I will be clean. Wash me and I will be whiter than snow. Create in me a pure heart, O God, and Renéw a steadfast spirit within me.

And some of you maybe have been around church for a long time and have maybe really taken a robust step one. Don't seem very powerless. Seems like your life's kind of manageable. It's kind of going okay. That ends up being oddly kind of a barrier to really intensely pursuing God. And some of you have known what it is to just feel hopeless and a million miles away. I just want to say God can do this in you. Nancy and I were at Angola Prison a couple weeks ago. And we started by walking through death row. And three of the guys that we were with had been in Angola Prison for decades. And met God there. And became servants of God there. And went back in to talk with those guys. There's no heart that God cannot cleanse. There is no spirit that God cannot Renéw. There is no past that God cannot forgive.

So that's where we are. After steps four and five, I've got a clearer picture of my character defects, old habits, grudges, forbidden pleasures, secrets, envy, deceit, whatever it is. Now we're ready to change except for the part of us that is not ready to change. I'm a little afraid that if my character defects are removed, I won't have any character left at all. As you may know, in AA, kind of like Jesus, they have a thousand real sticky, memorable sayings for stuff. Because it's life or death. It's heaven or hell. So it's got to be accessible. And one of those sayings is, when you get a drunken horse thief sobered up, what do you have? A horse thief. Okay?

So dealing with any one given addiction doesn't get to the root of it all. The root of it is our character, the nature of our moral and spiritual life. And my character defects are kind of like the hero Wesley in the movie Princess Bride. Anybody see kind of an old quirky movie Princess Bride? When Wesley is brought to Miracle Max, his friends think he's dead, but Miracle Max says he's not all dead, he's only mostly dead. And mostly dead is partly alive. And that's kind of like my character defects. So the key is to move from almost ready, kind of ready, partly ready, to entirely ready. And this involves the orientation of my will. And it is so important. It seems like kind of a subtle or abstract thing, but it's so important that the early followers of this way discovered it needs to be named as a step by itself.

Otherwise, those little barriers, that almost part, will keep me from ever taking this step. We see this real famously. We see it in ourselves. We see it in other Christians. Maybe the most famous influential Christian ever since Bible times was a man named St. Augustine. And before his conversion to Christ, he was captivated particularly by aspects of his sexuality that were real hard for him to let go of. He was kind of captured by sexual infatuation, very often jealousy, envy, very destructive dynamics in those kind of relationships, obsessive desire and demands. And he knew that his sexuality would need to change if he became a follower of Jesus. But at the same time, the thought of giving up that pleasure just kind of tormented him.

So this was his prayer. God, make me chaste, but not yet. Isn't that great? Literally, St. Augustine, God, make me chaste. Make me sexually pure, but not today. I got some plans today that that would interfere with. I know I want to get there. That's all of us. God make me patient but not yet I got places to go. God make me generous but not yet I got stuff I want to buy. God make me humble but I got a little self-promotion I need to do today. God make me honest but I could use a little deception with my boss or my spouse or traffic officer that just stopped me. Famous little story about a girl in Sunday school who is asked to define a lie and her definition, a lie is an abomination under the Lord and a very present help in time of trouble. Make me honest, but not yet.

Okay. So here's the question for step six and where this message is headed, just to let you know, is we'll walk through this one and then step seven. And then there's quite a famous prayer that for many decades now, people have prayed to take step seven, and I'll invite you to do that if you're ready to. For step six, became entirely ready for God to remove my defects of character. Of course, I need to know what my character defects are. So I'll give you an old list that's often used by people walking through the steps. You just take a look at them and see if there are any that you need to have removed.

You will be tempted to think about the character defects of the person sitting next to you, but let them work on that on their own. That's one of the things about taking inventory is we take our own inventory. We don't take other people's inventory. Okay? So resentment, anger, fear, cowardice, self-pity. That's a big one of mine. I grew up in a Swedish family, and I didn't explode at other people, but I got to pout really well. Pouting is one of my spiritual gifts. So I exercise this character defect quite a lot. Self-justification. Self-importance. Egotism. Self-condemnation. Guilt. Lying. Evasiveness. Dishonesty. Impatience. Hate. Maybe secret hate. False pride, phoniness, denial, jealousy, envy, laziness, procrastination. Anybody saying ouch yet at this point?

Insincerity, negative thinking, immoral thinking, perfectionism, intolerance, criticizing, loose talk, gossip, greed. And again, we're kind of down in the basement having a meeting, so it's just us, just to level the playing field here, a moment of mass confession. When you hear those character defects, how many of you would say that you suffer from possibly at least one or two of them or you at least know what the words mean? Okay, so we're all here together. Now, you might think about what are three or four of my most troublesome items? And you can add some if you don't find yours on the list. Then, you know, you can add that. And then I literally do a cost-benefits analysis for my character defects.

And it's important to just be honest and thoughtful about this. Some of the steps, like that first step, admitting powerlessness, that needs to be done with lots of emotional intensity. The more deeply that somebody feels their powerlessness and the need for God, the more desperate they are, the better. The more that that will help them. In AA, people will often talk about G-O-D, the gift of desperation. My friend Dallas Willard used to say, God's address is at the end of your rope. And you look in the Bible and that's generally where people meet him at the end of our rope so so that step is one where kind of like David in Psalm 51 the more deeply I don't just acknowledge it just don't walk in and just say yeah you know I'm a sinner I'm not perfect but but feel the desperate need for God the better.

But then there's some other steps step four when we do the inventory. Step six right here, this is much more of a thinking step. I need to try to be as clear on my character defects as I can. So to do a cost-benefits analysis for any character defect, what are the advantages of gratifying lust? And then I just kind of walk through that. Feels good, self-soothing, I have a right to it. Or maybe gratifying anger in a destructive way. What are the advantages to that? Well, it makes me feel powerful. It makes me feel superior to other people. Maybe it helps me get my way when I'm using it to intimidate somebody else. And then I look at what are the disadvantages of living that way? Guilt, emptiness, having less freedom the next time around. Because I get, Jesus said, whoever sins becomes a slave to sins. That's interesting language. Again, attachment or addiction. I lose intimacy.

This is from Dallas Willard. To depart from righteousness is to choose a life of crushing burdens, failures, and disappointments. A life caught in the toils of endless problems that are never resolved. Here is the source of that unending soap opera that sometimes horror show known as normal human life. We just get used to it, see? We can get used to almost anything. So, I'll give you an example of step six. This is quite remarkable. It's from a book by C.S. Lewis called The Great Divorce. The Great Divorce is kind of a parable or a metaphor where a group of people, they have been worn down by their sin until they're just almost nothing more than a ghost. But they're given an opportunity to go to the foothills of the mountains where God is, where goodness is, where heaven is.

And they're given the opportunity to reflect on the possibility of God making changes in them that they cannot make themselves so that they can actually live together with God. That's the book The Great Divorce. It's a series of scenes of people facing that opportunity. And some say yes and some say no. This is one of those characters, those kind of ghosts. He's a man with a real ugly lizard on his shoulder. In his case, the lizard stands for lust. Really, it could be any character defect or desire that's out of control in me or you. So here's the scene. A mighty angel approached the man and asked, Would you like me to make the lizard quiet? Of course I would, said the ghost. Then I will kill him, said the angel, taking a step forward. Ooh, ah, look out, you're burning me. Keep away, said the ghost, retreating. Don't you want him killed? You didn't say anything about killing him at first. I hardly meant to bother you with anything so drastic as that. It's the only way, said the angel. Shall I kill it?

Look, it's gone to sleep of its own accord. I'm sure it'll be all right now. Thanks ever so much. May I kill it? Honestly, I don't think there's the slightest necessity for that. I'm sure I'll be able to keep it in order now, some other day perhaps. There is no other day get back you're burning me how can I tell you to kill it you'd kill me if you did it is not so why you're hurting me now I never said I wouldn't hurt you I said it wouldn't kill you suddenly the lizard began shattering loudly be careful it said he can do what he says he can kill me. One fatal word from you and he will. Then you'll be without me forever and ever. I'll be so good. I admit I've gone sometimes too far in the past, but I promise I won't do it again. Have I your permission? Said the angel to the ghost. You're right. It would be better to be dead than to live with this creature. Then I may. Blast you, go on. Can't you get it over, bellowed the ghost, but ended whimpering, God help me. God help me.

Next moment, the ghost gave a scream of agony such as I never heard. The burning one closed his crimson grip on the reptile, twisted it while it bit and writhed, and then flung it, broken back on the turf. This is all step six. Then I saw unmistakably solid but growing every minute solider the ghost materialize into a man a human being a person not much smaller than the angel and at the same time something seemed to be happening to the lizard at first I thought the operation had failed so far from dying the creature was still struggling and even growing bigger as it struggled as it grew it changed suddenly I stared back rubbing my eyes. What stood before me was the greatest stallion I had ever seen, silvery white, but with mane and tail of gold.

And then as Lewis is describing this, his teacher is with him, and he says to him, here's what all of this means. Nothing, not even the best and noblest that is in us can go on as it is now, because it's all tainted with sin. At the same time, nothing, not even what is lowest and most bestial will not be raised again. All of my appetites, all of my desires, everything inside me will be redeemed one day if it submits to death. If you want to live, you've got to die first. Can I kill it? So that's step six. Can I kill it? Become entirely ready. Go from, yeah, kind of ready, partly ready, tired of this, but I want to hang on to it. All right, God. All right, God. Best as I can do it with your help, now I'm ready for you to kill in me what needs to be killed.

And again, I'll just ask you very honestly right now, as you look at your own character defects, nobody else, are you entirely ready? Are you at least more willing to have those defects removed than you are closed to it? Am I willing to pray daily for their removal? To have God remove them in whatever way on whatever timetable God sees fit. That's step six. Became entirely ready. And then when you're ready for the next step, step seven is humbly ask him to remove our shortcomings. Now again, all of this is very much from Scripture. The Bible's word for the removal of shortcomings, there's biblical language for all of this, is to sanctify.

Odd word in our day, we think about people being sanctimonious, but that just means it's just the removal or the redemption or the transformation of my character defects. Killing the lizard so that a stallion might be reborn. Humbly means that I'm not in charge of this process. I can't do this. Only God can. I have a real painful book in my office. I came across it not long ago. And it's an evaluation. It was a work evaluation by people who know me quite well. And I trust them. And when I reread it, I remembered the gap between who I think I am, who I would like you to think who I am, and who I actually am, the way that people experience me, is humiliatingly large.

Not just technical competencies like managing a budget or something. Deeply personal qualities about relating to people, being open, being authentically courageous. And when I would look back on how big that gap is, it was very painful for me. So as we're going through step seven you know this question arises how do I become aware of my defects of character not push them away not forget them not deny them really see them but also not be crushed by them or uh oppressed because that's not going to be helpful so we remember now Paul's words to the church at Rome, there is now therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. No condemnation. He doesn't say there's no pain for those in Christ Jesus. No condemnation.

So we ask for help. This is Paul writing to the church of Thessalonica. May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul, and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ, the one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it. So this step is not quit doing bad things. This step is not remove your shortcomings, your defects of character. We're not able to do it. We just get used to them. In the moment that we're doing them, they don't even seem like shortcomings. They just seem natural. We don't even notice them.

There was a mom in Darlington, Maryland. I read about this years ago. She looked out on the front porch of her house, and her kids are playing with a bunch of little animals but she sees to her horror looking at them, the little animals they're playing with are baby skunks. And so she runs out the front door and she shouts out in horror, run children, run. And each child picks up a skunk by the tail and runs as fast as they can. And that's our problem. We run with the skunks. We're just so used to them. We just carry them with us. So we ask God, God, would you make us aware? And very often that means, would you help other people make us aware?

Now, we're part of a church. Church has been around for a long time. Periodically, when the Spirit of God is real at work in a church, it gets a lot more like 12-step meetings. This has happened throughout the centuries. So, you might have heard of John Wesley, the founder of what became the Methodist Church. If you were going to get into a church back in Wesley's day, I mean into a small group, we called them bands or classes. If you were going to get into one, you had to be asked a series of questions and then respond to them. I want you to imagine if you're in a small group or thinking about one, being asked these questions before you can enter.

Number one, does any sin inward or outward have dominion over you? Number two, do you desire to be told of your faults? Number three, do you desire to be told of all your faults and that plainly and clearly? Number four, do you desire that every one of us should tell you from time to time whatsoever is in his heart concerning you? Consider, do you desire that we should tell you whatsoever we think, whatsoever we fear, whatsoever we hear concerning you? Do you desire in doing this, we should cut as close as possible, we should cut to the quick and search your heart to the bottom?

Do you all ask each other questions like that before you get into a small group around here and there was a day when people didn't and they said yes by the thousands because the strange reality is when I get into a group where we can speak truth with each other and you really know me and you know my inadequacy and my problems and my faults and the stuff that I try to keep a secret and and and I know that about other people a kind of love flows a kind of power flows that just doesn't flow if we're all trying to look better than we actually are.

Now, in 12-step communities, this level of deep, deep honesty generally comes from what's called a sponsor. Might be a spiritual friend for you or whatever, but we have to ask. Our problem is we carry our character defects with us, so we must ask, but the language says we humbly ask. Why? Well, it turns out one problem with pursuing spiritual growth is it leads very often to pride, which is the opposite of love. Henry Nouwen used to say, one of the hardest things in the world is to stop being the prodigal son without turning into the elder brother. And there's lots of 12-step groups for prodigal sons. I don't know many for elder brothers, but we need them.

Augustine recognized this. This is a remarkable statement. Again, St. Augustine, all vices manifest themselves in wrongdoing, but pride lurks even in good works. Like to give is good, but then I can be proud. To pray is good, but then it can make me proud. Seeking to destroy even them. Look at this. God hates pride so much that God prefers evil deeds done in humility than good deeds done in pride. That's extraordinary. Now that doesn't mean go do bad things humbly today. I was just talking about how destructive pride is.

So I humbly ask for God's help. The humility comes from knowing I am far from the man or pastor or father or friend that I want to be in ways that deeply matter. And I am not able to change that through my willpower. So it's humble. But then to ask reminds me I'm not passive in this process either. There is a role for my mind and my body and my will as well. It's interesting in the New Testament, people ask for healing, and Jesus often heals their body instantly, sight to the blind, strength to the lame, and so on. But as far as I know, he never heals someone defect of character immediately. The timing is up to God. And the process is up to God.

So take any defect of character. Let's do a quick confession of the defect of impatience or being in a hurry all the time. I'll ask you if you suffer from that defect to just raise your hand. No, not yet. Hang on. See, this is what I'm talking about right here. I got it. I mean, describe it for a minute and then you can do that. If when you drive up to a stoplight and there's two lanes and one car in each lane, it's red light, and you find yourself guessing based on the make, model, and year of each car, who's going to pull away fastest because God forbid you should get behind the slower car, there's a good chance you wrestle with this.

At a grocery store, if there's two different lanes that you could get in and you start counting how many people in each lane multiplied by how many items in each grocery cart. And if you're really sick, not only do you do that, but if you get into line A, you keep track of the person who wouldn't have been you in line B. And if that person gets out first, you're depressed the rest of the day because like you lost that. Okay, how many here wrestle with the defect of impatience, hurry sickness or so? Well, you know, patience is one of the fruits of the spirits. We're called to grow in that, but it doesn't grow in us by willpower. God will have to remove that impatience, but the timing of it is up to him.

And the process generally will be God will send you situations, problems, difficulties, difficult people to give you the chance to practice patience. Anybody here have a difficult person in your life? And if you don't, Twin Lakes actually keeps a list of difficult people here in the church. And if you check in, they will send you one just to help you. So humbly ask, God, would you remove my character defects? Because they've become so deeply a part of me. I'll say one more word about asking God, and then we'll actually say the seven-step prayer if you're ready to say it. You can do that.

Sometimes for me, when I try to talk to God, when I get alone, I can be so aware of my failures as a dad, my failures as a pastor, things in my life that have become broken that I cannot fix, that I will never be able to fix. And I don't know how to parse them all out, but I know a lot of them have come into the world through my own wrongness. And it can be hard for me to remember in those times in a way that I feel God still loves me. So here's a little picture. You know, step three, we turn our will and our lives over to the care of God. But now if I'm going to do that, I have to believe God cares about me.

Richard Foster gives a wonderful picture of this in his book on prayer. Of a dad in a grocery store with his little child, three or four years old. And you all know how sometimes those moments can be really hard. A dad is in a grocery store with his little kid, and the kid's just losing it, tantrum, screaming, crying. Dad tries calming and bribing and threatening, and nothing is working. A woman sees he just keeps saying, it's okay, Isaac. We're going to get through this, Isaac. You can do this, Isaac. And she says to him, I'm amazed how patient you are with your son, Isaac. And he said, no, no, no, my son's name is Hans. I'm Isaac.

So you know well I'm in there so Richard writes about this dad and kids just losing it nothing else is working so the dad just starts singing a song just starts making up this goofy song I love you I'm so glad you're my boy I'll love to see you smile I'll love to watch you when you're sleeping I'll love to hear you talk I'll love to play with you I'll love to be your dad as long as you live no matter how old you ever grow I will always be your daddy you will always be my boy and his son's face got real quiet and his eyes got real big and his voice got real still and that dad sang that boy all the way out the grocery store to the car put him in his car seat and the boy flung his arms out and said sing it to me again daddy.

And as best I can you know prophet Zechariah wrote a long time ago that God rejoices over his people with singing. And now somehow somehow that's me somehow that's you. That's our God. So we come to him now I invite you to do that to say the step seven prayer and uh this is a real deep prayer so if you say it I would invite you to devote yourself wholly your mind your thoughts be fully present with this your will as best you can to actually mean it I said team to come on back out and if you're not ready for the step seven prayer generally with the steps folks who are wise about this will say if you get to a step and you just can feel yourself saying I'm not ready for this one then it's often good to go back to the previous step and and work on that usually not being ready for one step means I haven't really completed a previous step in the journey so feel free to take your time and go back and look at one of the other steps but if you're ready I want to invite everybody now bow your head and close your eyes be fully present with God as best you're able to right now putting everything else aside and offering to him as sincerely as you can yourself holy in these words heavenly father I am now willing that you should have all of me good and bad I pray now that you would remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellow human beings. Grant me strength as I go from here to do your bidding. In Jesus' name, amen.