4 Relationships That Will Make You... Or Break You

Well, I want to invite you to grab your message notes. They look like this in the bulletins that you guys got when you came in today. And as you're grabbing those, my name is René. I'm one of the pastors here. And I just want to give a quick shout out to the Kingsmen. That is the name of our car club here at Twin Lakes Church. And these men and women are the ones who are responsible for that party you see out there today with the car show. Give it up for the Kingsmen. They are amazing. It's the Kingsmen, but really it should be like the Kings people because it's men and women in this group that do a great job.

And one of the reasons they're doing this part of it is just kind of to have something fun to do, kind of a fun fellowship, a fun party for us to grab some food and look at the beautiful cars. And some of those cars really are beautiful, by the way. And but another reason that they want to do this is they want to draw their attention, your attention to their apprenticeship program. This is very cool. This is something they do all year long. They have men and women who know about working on cars, mentoring young people, teens and young people who are college age who, because working on cars, it's becoming a lost start. Would you agree with that? I mean, really a lost start.

And so they're teaching these teens and young adults, whoever wants to show up how to work on cars right now, they are working on this donated original model A Ford that you see in this picture. It is so cool. So if you are interested in either mentoring or learning about working on cars, it's free. It's the Kingsman seven o'clock Thursdays here on TLC's campus, just around the corner in our big giant bus garage. That's where they usually keep this car. Now, something that's kind of cool is if you put in 40 hours learning from the Kingsman, then you get kind of as a graduation present, a Kingsman jacket. They have seven students who have completed that. And a few of them are here today. They're going to be receiving their jackets at 1230. And that's when we present the awards for the car show too. Incidentally, so grab some food afterwards and come on by and cheer on those people. In fact, let's cheer them on now.

40 hours learning about cars. Personally, I hear that and I go, I know where I'm going for my next car repair because, you know, that's awesome. But listen, look at your notes. Quick recap. The book of second Timothy is the book that our series Strong Grace is based on. We're doing a 12 week verse by verse series through this book of the Bible. This is the last thing ever written by the apostle Paul. And he is writing this to Timothy, who is a young pastor of the church in Ephesus, and when Paul writes this, he is in a prison cell in Rome awaiting execution under the Roman emperor Nero.

And so he's giving Timothy his last little words of insight. And so now we've, we studied this now for almost 12 weeks and we are in the very last sentences today of the apostle Paul's very last letter. And so as the apostle Paul closes out his last letter and writes the last sentences in his last paragraph, what do you think is on his mind? What do you think? You know what it is? People. People that he loves. People that he has lived life with. People that he has worked with. And it's really beautiful, but as a consequence of that second Timothy chapter four verses nine through 22, which we're going to be getting into today.

If you have Bibles, if you have them on your portable electronic devices, grab those and open it up to second Timothy four, nine through 22. But because Paul is remembering all these people, this almost looks like kind of like the phone book, it almost looks like credits at the end of a movie, just a long list of names. And because of that, most people, when they're reading second Timothy, they just skip right over those names. It's like, Oh, name, name, name, name, those are like, get to the end. Right. And most pastors don't even preach on these verses because at first glance, they seem like they might be kind of boring. And I think that is such a shame because what you have in these verses just blows out of the water a very dangerous myth that is prevalent in American society today.

In fact, I would say it has taken over American culture and you could call this myth, the myth of the lone ranger. And I did not come up with this name. Sociologists have a term for this in American society. They call it, they say American society, like no other culture in world history ever believes in the myth of the lone ranger. What is that? That means that if you're a genius, if you're really a world changer, if you're somebody like, you know, George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Steve Jobs, Walt Disney, back, Leonardo da Vinci, you're a lone ranger. You're swimming against the stream. You're one man against millions and you're doing it all on your own.

And so consequently, this idea has taken over American pop culture and almost all of our heroes are lone rangers. For example, this character, you remember this, anybody remember this movie? What movie is it? Shout it out. Top Gun. Who is that actor? Top Cruise. Now, can anybody tell me what's the name of his character in the movie? Shout it out. Maverick. That's right. Even his name is a lone ranger name. I'm a maverick. I don't need anybody. Now, what about this character? Do you recognize who's the actor in all those Western movies he made a series of these? Do you remember his character's name in these movies? Anybody? Somebody just said it. You can't remember his name because his character doesn't have a name. They call him the man with no name because literally his character is such a loner that he doesn't reveal his name to anybody in several movies.

I can't tell you my name. Wouldn't be right. You know, that's how he is. Okay. Who is this character? The ultimate loner. If you think about it, right? Because Superman cannot reveal who he really is to anybody. And when Superman gets tired, where does he go? What is the name of this place? Anybody shout it out. It's the fortress of solitude. Yes. Many comic books geeks in the audience with me today. Say it one more time. The fortress of is that the ultimate name for a man cave or what? The fortress of somebody else except for Superman is allowed in this giant fortress. And when he gets lonely, he conjures up holograms of actual relationships. You know, he can pretend to talk to his dad or his mom, but no real people are allowed. It's like every man's dream. It's the ultimate lone ranger myth. I don't need anybody.

This is dominant in our culture. But what are the real lone rangers say about their lives? Jack Warner, who was the legendary CEO of Warner Brothers retired in the fifties with a net worth of almost half a billion dollars in the fifties. A reporter asked him, why about you and your friends are going to throw some kind of a great retirement party, right? You know what he said? I don't have any friends. And he died shortly afterwards. He was unfortunately learning what modern research is proving that the lone ranger myth is harmful. Dr. James Lynch has done tons of research on this. He says, quote, lonely people live significantly shorter lives. University of Michigan did more research. They say having no friends is as dangerous a health risk as obesity and smoking. And yet less than 10 percent of American males say they have a close friend. And the number for women is precipitously dropping every year. Isn't that amazing?

But the apostle Paul did not buy into this lone ranger myth in these closing verses. The apostle Paul, who we often think of as the ultimate lone ranger, right? Every picture you see of the apostle Paul, even though he is almost never alone in the Bible, even though he constantly is talking about his friends and about his traveling companions in the book of Acts, he's always traveling with a team. Yet we imagine Paul as being this lone ranger striding throughout the Roman world. But he himself, you know, says, no, that's a myth. In these verses, he talks about 19 people who were his network of friends and co-workers. Now, we are not going to go point by point through all 19 names today. I know turn to your neighbor and say that is a summer vacation gift from the preacher.

Here's what we're going to do instead. We're going to look at the four categories. Every one of these names falls into and look at four relationships that will make you or break you in your life. See, one of the reasons I think that so few of us have friendships in American society, the majority of us, if we're statistically true, do not have real super close friends. And one of the reasons is I think friendships are messy, right? I mean, they break your heart sometimes. They lead to disappointment. They lead to hurt feelings. Well, Paul's friendships led to that also. And I want you to see how he handles it. I first heard these four categories in a great message by Kurt Harlow on this passage. This is so rich because Paul had these in his life and you will have all four in your life too. So jot these down.

First, you will have the deserter. Yeah, the deserter, the short timer. Not all your friends are going to be steady. Verse nine, do your best. He's talking to Timothy now. Do your best to come to me quickly for Demas. And this is a guy who Paul mentions as one of his co-workers in Colossians. He mentions him in the book of Philemon. So we see Demas as being a good guy elsewhere in the Bible. But he says here, Demas, because he loved this world, has deserted me and has gone to Thessalonica. Cressons has gone to Galatia and Titus to Dalmatia. And in some variant readings it says to get a dog. No, I'm just kidding about that. That's not true. But I just wanted to see if you were still awake.

Listen, one relationship that every single one of us are going to have to deal with at some point in our lives, and most of us many times, is the deserter. The deserter says, I'm leaving. The deserter is the person who at the crucial moment of your life, abandons you. Paul's on trial for his life. And Demas says, I can't take anymore and takes off. And some of you know exactly how this feels. Some of you experienced this the first time when you were a little kid and maybe you were playing games with your friends. Some of you heard this when you were playing hide and go seek with your friends. And you went to hide and you hid for hours. And nobody came to find you. Anybody else here ever get ditched while playing hide and go seek? Please, somebody else raise their hands because I don't want to assume I'm the only one. Good, thank you.

But some of you heard this also as a child when someone said to you, I'm leaving your mom. I'm leaving dad. Some of you heard this later in life when somebody said to you, I'm leaving you. And if you heard these phrases, then you know exactly what Paul is going through. But why does it happen? Why in this case, why did Demas leave? Look at that phrase, because he loved this world. What does this mean? I don't think this means he was worldly. He was worldly. You know, Demas loved the pubs in Thessalonica or something. So he took off. He couldn't handle the holy life. I don't think this means that at all. I think this just means Demas wanted to stay alive. He loved safety. He wanted to stay alive in this world.

Now, what's wrong with that? Nothing unless you idolize safety. And personally, I feel like in our culture, we're getting dangerously close to idolizing safety, to loving our lives in this world a little bit too much. Yours is one example of this, is how much children's playgrounds have changed. Does anybody remember dangerous playgrounds like me when you were a kid? Like, sharp? Everything was made out of sharp metal. That's what you played on. And the playground surface was dirt. Or if you were lucky, tan bark, which was like playing on a pile of splinters, right? That was the best case scenario. Do you remember the chain swings where every kid's goal was what? To swing all the way over, you know, and get a concussion.

What about those merry-go-round things? Remember those? Made out of metal, where you couldn't get any traction. And the goal was to try to kind of climb onto this thing, and some ADD kid was always running around with the thing, trying to make it go really fast. And kids are flying, "Toot, toot, toot!" You know, kid flesh on all the tan bark. That's... Then those were the good times, you know, back in the... How about... Does anybody remember the Boardwalk Funhouse back in the day, right? Do you remember that tube thing that kids went running at? It was a hard, metallic tube that spun like this, and kids willingly, including me, went into this thing, and we just got tumbled. It was like a giant kid tumble dryer. Anybody get injured in that thing? Anybody here? Anybody still have bruises from that thing, right?

Nowadays, what do kids... Everywhere they go, kids are wearing helmets and pads. I see kids on leashes. How many of you have seen this? Now, safety's good. Safety's a good thing. But you can go a little bit overboard, right? Don't love safety so much that you're not doing the will of God in your life. Because you know what? Sometimes, as a follower of Jesus, sometimes... Not, you know, to the point... Don't engage in pointless, risky behavior, but sometimes you will be called to do things that are not safe.

You see, what are you talking about? Well, in those days when this was written 20 centuries ago, it was not safe to be a Christian. The emperor Nero was executing Christians. That was not safe. And by the way, Christians are going through this again today. I don't know if you've been following the story of Miriam Ibrahim, this woman, 27 years old, trained as a medical doctor, and she has been for months in prison in the Sudan. Her sentence was "Hanging, death by hanging." She's been under a capital sense. What's her crime? Being a Christian, converting to Christianity. She was pregnant when they put her in prison. She had her baby daughter in prison. And she just got released this last Monday. Here's a picture of her now.

And here's another picture that was taken Tuesday of Miriam with some of her support group. This is her husband and his friends. By the way, keep her in your prayers because she was re-arrested Tuesday. And now the government's saying, "Yeah, you know what? We might put you on trial again for another... It won't be a capital offense, but you might have to go to prison for seven years for converting." More Christians than ever before in history are under that kind of official government harassment these days. Keep these brothers and sisters in your prayers.

But here's my question. Look at these people. Don't you know that every single face in this picture of her supporters taken last Tuesday is, as we speak, being scrutinized and investigated by the Sudanese security? And you know what else? When they stood for this picture and posted it on social media, they knew that would happen. And they stood up, whether these people who visited her in prison, who stood up for her witnessing for her at her trial, they stood and they posted this picture knowing that they were putting a target right on their chest. Now here's my question. Would you be in that group? Because that's what it meant to be a friend of Paul. And some people could handle that, but Paul says, "Demas, because he loved this world." That's not a metaphor. That means he literally loved this world. He loved this planet. He wanted to stay alive.

And so Demas goes, "I cannot handle it anymore. I'm taking off." So I mean, in a way, I'm saying, have a little bit of sympathy for Demas because I kind of understand where he was coming from. But there's a couple of people I want to talk to here today. First, the people who have been, at some point in your life, deserters. There is hope for you. There is grace for you. The Bible is filled with stories of people who were deserters, like the Apostle Peter, who came back and were used mightily of God. And we'll talk about more of that in just a couple of minutes. Secondly, I want to address the people who have been deserted and you're hurt. And you kind of feel like a loser a little bit because you feel like there must be something wrong with me because I got deserted and my best years are behind me. I got to just tell you, please do not listen to those lies. You are not a loser. You have great years ahead of you.

Let me ask you this. Was Jesus ever deserted? Yeah, a few times. The Apostle Paul was deserted despite his brilliance, despite his genius, despite his greatness. And he was right in the center of God's will. And you can go on to have a great life like he had to. Don't let desertion discourage you. How do you not let it discourage you? Well, you really need the second relationship, the peer. The peer relationship. This is the equal relationship, the close friend relationship. The peer, this is the kind of person who looks at you and says, you got this, man. You know what? You are really great at that. I am like your biggest fan. Now, they also say, uh, calm down, man. Yeah, don't do that. That would be a mistake. And also, you've got a booger in your nose. Everybody needs somebody like this.

And Paul says in verse 11, such an emotionally packed five-word sentence, only Luke is with me. Luke was that guy for Paul. Now, check this out. Here's what we know about Luke. First, he was a scholar. He wrote in at least three languages. He spoke in three languages. He's the author of giant parts of the New Testament. In fact, if you just do a verse count after Paul, Luke wrote more of the New Testament than anybody else. So how cool is it that these two brilliant guys are like traveling side by side through much of their lives together. They were friends together. But he was a scholar. Paul was brilliant enough to allow this strong voice in his life.

So here's my question for you. Do you have people smarter than you in some areas, more talented than you in some areas in your life right now? Ray Johnson's got a great line. If you're always the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room. I love that. Choose to hang out with some sharp people. Luke is also a physician. Twice in the Bible it talks about he was a doctor. And I love this because did Paul need this or not? Was Paul always in need of medical care? He's always getting beat up. He's got an eye disease. And this shows me that Luke not only has a great mind, but he's got a great heart because he's a scholar, but he's in this caring profession too. And this is huge. Luke was a Gentile. He was a Gentile.

Now, stay there on page one for a second because just think about the implications of this. Paul was Jewish. Luke was not Jewish. How huge do you think this was? This means that Luke provided diversity for Paul. This means Luke provided insight for Paul. This means that as the Apostle Paul wanted to reach cross-culturally, Luke was like the guy who gave him kind of tips. Yeah, this is what Gentiles do. This is what Gentiles kind of find offensive. This is kind of a weak point in their thinking. Now, how is this a model for you and me? Let me just get very personal here. You know, Santa Cruz County has this reputation for being very progressive, right? And with progressive politics, a lot of people like to imagine comes diversity. And yet Santa Cruz County is the least diverse place culturally and ethnically of any place I personally have ever lived. Man, we are like white as wonder bread.

And sometimes I wonder what's wrong with us, right? You go over to the rest of the Bay Area, it's a totally different scene. That means that if you and I want to be like Paul or like Jesus, who was famous for crossing cultural boundaries, wasn't he? That's one of the things he was criticized for in his life, you know? If we want to be like this biblical model, we have to be very intentional about including people within our circle of friends who are not exactly like us, who are maybe coming from a different ethnic background than we come from, maybe a different religious background than we come from, from a different socioeconomic background, a different academic background than we come from.

Why is this important? Because the gospel is a cross-cultural message. That's from day one it was cross-cultural. And so you want to, I want to be in on that wave, right, of the gospel is constantly just pouring over human borders. And I want to be a part of that. Something that's so cool, I got a couple of emails this week from a church in Brazil that I had no idea, this is now the third church in Brazil, that's watching our sermons on video while they do their own live worship and sub-titling the videos in Portuguese. What I love about this is that it was a totally grassroots thing. They did it on their own. We had no idea it was happening. But it's just one example of millions going on in the world right now of how the Church of Jesus Christ is totally international.

And see, you and I are going to be at the marriage supper of the Lamb as Jesus termed Heaven. We're going to be at that banquet table with Brazilians and with Africans and with Asians and with Central Americans. So why not get to know your dinner partners now, you know? Kind of make their acquaintance early because that's what the kingdom of God looks like. So my question is, who is Luke in your life? Who is your peer who lifts you up and kind of restores you and challenges your thinking a little bit? To be really effective in your life, you also need to develop the third kind of relationship Paul has, the protégé. This is the person you are teaching, the protégé, the person you're mentoring.

Look at the rest of verse 11 down to verse 13 because this is awesome. Paul says, "Get Mark." Now, like circle that name, star it because we're going to get back to it in a second. "Get Mark and bring him with you because he is helpful to me in my ministry." I sent Tychicus to Ephesus. When you come, bring the cloak that I left with Carpus at Troas. Oh, and my scrolls, especially the parchments. Now, there's so much here, but I want you to zoom in on the phrase, "My cloak." There's literally been books written on this because it's interesting. The cloak was a garment made for one season, winter. It was very heavy. It was made out of wool. It was lined with silk. What it looked like was kind of a cape. It just draped over your shoulders all the way down to your legs and it had a hood. So it would keep you warm, kind of like a heavy duty snuggie.

Scholars say it also doubled as a sleeping bag. You wouldn't have traveled with this thing. It was too heavy. Or wherever you were settled down for the winter, that's when you would need your winter cloak. And this is awesome because this means that when he says, "Get my cloak," because winter's coming, it means he's saying, "Look, it looks like Nero's going to kill me, but I've escaped these scrapes before. So just in case, like, Nero dies or my trial's delayed, winter's coming, so get that sleeping bag thing and that downcoat thing because I want to be ready." Do you see what's happening? I love this.

Because, like, Paul never gives up. Scholars say that when Paul's writing this, he's over 60 years old, which was ancient in those days because life expectancy was much shorter than it is right now. How many of you are in Paul's stage of life? How many of you are over 60? Raise your hands right now. Go out, raise them with pride. Come on. You're over 60. I want to talk to you guys for just a couple of minutes. Our culture today is not geared for you. Our culture today wants to imply to you, "You know what? Wind down because your life's basically over. You're not relevant anymore." I want to say that is totally, absolutely, completely wrong.

If you're over 60, I just want to tell you it's not over for you, especially not when it comes to mentoring young people. If you are breathing, God is not done with you yet. Do I hear an amen from everybody in this room on this? Listen. Here's a question for you. Do we need to do our best at reaching young people and young adults for Christ? Do we need to do our best that we possibly can as a church? Do we? Absolutely. That's what our 2020 vision is all about, right? That's what it's all about.

I wish you could have been with me at Camp Hammer this last week. I went up there. That place is jam-packed with a capacity crowd of junior-age campers and high schoolers, like my own son David, who's turning 16 this week. He's up there this week as a junior counselor, college-age kids being counselors. There's hundreds of young people and children up there at camp. It is awesome. That's the future of our church. That's future board members. That's future pastors. That's future congregants right there in that picture. It's wonderful. Do we need to do our best at reaching and discipling these young people? Absolutely. Do we need to be a church made up of nothing but young people? Absolutely not.

For every Timothy we've got, we need a Paul. And if you're at Paul's stage of life, I just want to tell you, whatever winter you see coming in your life, get your coat and stay ready. Stay warm. Stay ready to do whatever God calls you to do, because we need you here. God is not done with you yet. Now, having a protege, whether you're mentoring people to repair a model A Ford, or whether you're walking people through Scripture every week, having a mentor, that is not easy. I want to tell you, here's what to expect when investing in a friend.

First of all, walking. You're walking through life together. Paul literally walked with Mark shoulder to shoulder through much of the Roman Empire. And if you're intentionally mentoring somebody, do this as much as you're able. Go on trips together. Go on mission trips together. Just travel together. Because when you're walking shoulder to shoulder, that's when a younger person's going to open up their life to you. If you're parents, this is one reason to travel with your kids together, because that's when they open up to you more than they might in just the normal circumstances of life.

You know what? This is one of the reasons that our high school group was down in Mexico all this past week, building homes for the poor in Mexico. It's for the poor, yes, but it's also for the high schoolers, because as you're shoulder to shoulder, banging nails into a house, you're going to open up to each other because you're living life together. This is the reason our junior high group, all this last week, was up at Kidder Creek in Northern California doing a river rafting trip. It's not just so that the kids can get splashed on a river raft. It's because when they're with their counselors, they open up their lives to them.

So do this. You're walking together shoulder to shoulder, but if you live together like this, you travel together, there's also going to be feuding, right? You're going to get on each other's nerves. And Paul and Mark really went through this. They traveled all over together. They were jailed together. They were beaten together. And at one point, Mark decides he has had enough. And if you read the book of Acts, you can read the story. Mark takes off. He's like, "Cannot take this anymore." I think he was like, "Paul is nuts. I'm leaving." And he leaves. He's one of the deserters.

Years later in the book of Acts, you see that Mark has a change of heart. He got more mature. And he comes back to Paul's team, and he says, "I want to join the team again." And Paul says, "Uh-uh. No. Not a chance." And some other members of Paul's team go, "Come on, give Mark a break." You know, he's older now. And Paul goes, "No." And there's this big fight within Paul's team, and half of them go one way, and half of them go another way. I mean, it's a really serious deal. Now, some scholars want to tell you, "Well, Paul was right. He was just practicing tough love after all. You know, Mark was misunderstood." No. I think Paul just had a bad attitude for a while. I really do.

And so there's this feuding that's going on between Paul and between Mark, and that's the case with all relationships. Relationships just get messy. They just do. Any relationship. You know what? Technically, it's called if you get into fights occasionally with people that you love very much. You know what you're called? You're called alive because everybody goes through that. And in fact, some of these families I see that never seem to fight, they freak me out. It's like there's some Stepford wife thing going on. It's just not normal. But at some point, Mark changes, Paul changes, and there's forgiving. And in these verses, you see this beautiful reconciliation. "Get Mark. He's very helpful. I need Mark here."

So listen, I just want to talk to the people in this room who have a strained relationship with a friend. Even if there's been years of bad blood like there was between Paul and Mark, you can still reconcile. Pray for God to bring forgiveness. Keep your eyes open for the opportunities. Now, I have to say, Paul learned how to forgive people like Mark eventually, partly because he had to learn how to forgive real enemies. And that's the fourth kind of relationship everybody's going to face, the adversary. Paul warns Timothy about the enemy. Verse 14, "Alexander the metalworker did me a great deal of harm, and the Lord will repay him for what he has done." Underline that phrase, "the Lord will repay him."

What makes this just pop is that Paul is living in what they call an honor and shame culture. And there's still cultures like this today. And in an honor and shame culture, if you have been shamed, if somebody has dissed you or a relative or your pet, then you are honor-bound to avenge that shame. That's the kind of culture Paul was in. But Paul says, "No, no, I'm not going to do that. This person wronged me, but you know what? I forgive him, and may the Lord repay him, but that's not my job." Can you have that same kind of an attitude? Now, don't get this confused. Some people think that not taking vengeance means you have to fully trust somebody again. But that's not necessarily true.

Look at what Paul says next. "Timothy, you too should be on your guard against him because he strongly opposed our message." Timothy, don't take revenge, but you've got to be on your guard against this guy. This is Paul's reaction to opposition consistently. And you and I can learn so much from this. First, respond with God's grace. Respond with grace. Look at the next thing he says about all the deserters. "At my first defense, no one came to my support, but everybody deserted me. May it not be held against them." And because he's responding with grace, Paul can rely on God's defense. He can rely on God's defense in verse 17. "But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength." What does this mean?

First, if you've been deserted, you are not alone. You are never alone. The Lord is standing at your side. But there's a little bit more depth to it than that. You know, Jesus said that he would send the Holy Spirit who would always be with you, and the Holy Spirit would be your, what? Counselor. Your counselor, right? Now, when we hear the word counselor in our culture, we usually think psychiatrist, right? Like the Holy Spirit is going, "Come have a seat on the couch. Tell me, how long have you felt this way about your model?" You know, we think this idea. But actually, counselor back in those days meant counselor as in lawyer. Counselor stepped to the bench, that kind of a counselor. The Holy Spirit is your defense attorney.

And what Paul is saying is, "I don't need to kind of get all high and mighty and on the defensive every time I'm attacked, because God will defend me." And I mean this very practically here. When you are attacked, you do not have to defend yourself every time. Instead, remember God's purpose. Don't let that person who's attacking you also be distracting you. Paul says, "Here's my purpose, so that through me, the message might be fully proclaimed, and all the Gentiles might hear it." He's like, "Not letting the opposition also get him off mission. Stay on message." Please hear me on this. This is the biggest challenge facing Christians today, as we start to be more attacked, either by governments or just politically or by, you know, blogger, atheist people or whatever, is we go on the defensive. "Oh, yeah?" And Paul says, "No. Let God defend you. You stay on message, the message of God's grace."

He says, "God delivered me from the lion's mouth, and the Lord will rescue me from every evil attack and bring me safely to His heavenly kingdom. To Him be glory forever and ever. Amen." He says, "Even if they kill me, kill me, I'm going to His heavenly kingdom, so in a way, no matter what they do to me, I'm rescued. What a great attitude." I mean, look back at these four relationships for just a second. You know what reading the Bible is like? Reading the Bible is kind of like when you're in passages like this, it's kind of like watching a baseball game and then realizing suddenly you're in the game.

In fact, that happened to the Phillies play-by-play announcer this past Friday. He was calling a home run, and then the home run gets hit toward him, and suddenly he becomes part of his own play-by-play because he catches the home run ball. It was awesome, and they put it on video and posted it. Watch this. It's a great scene. Well, it smokes deep to center field, out toward our advantage. Tom Givert told us. Not good that he hit a home run, but it was a really good shoot. Hold on. Hold on. We got to throw it back. Wasn't really that good of a time. Well, we make sure we know that we weren't cheering because of the home run. We're cheering because you just made a great team. Yeah, and you don't use one hand though, Tom. I'm lucky I caught that. I never would have had the presence of mind to do that if I was calling play-by-play.

Isn't that amazing? But that's a... Have you ever experienced this when you're reading the Bible? It's like you're reading, you're listening to a sermon, and you're sort of like watching the game. Like, that was kind of interesting. I can see why Paul felt this way. And suddenly, you see the ball coming into your court, and you realize that it's really about you. That the ball's been hit straight to you. That now the next play is yours. I mean, look at these four categories of friends. The deserter. Is there someone in your life you need to forgive? The peer. Are you close to anyone? The protégé. Are you intentionally mentoring someone, your own children, or some other young person? The adversary. Are you letting the opposition get you off mission?

These are all things that you can apply in your life, but only if you understand the very last thing Paul says. Look at his very final words. I love these, because first, Paul kind of expresses again his love for people in his life. He's greeting some close friends. I want you to think about where Paul is when he does all this, though. Look at this screen. Paul is in Mamertine Prison in Rome. This prison cell, you can actually visit this in Rome. I've been inside of it. It is depressing. But this is one of the actual jail cells where the Apostle Paul was actually held. I want you to imagine Paul here. And winter is coming. It's cold. No coat. He's bored. No parchments. His back is all torn up from being scourged. His eyesight, gone. Most of his friends, gone. He's facing trial before Nero, where probably he's going to be beheaded.

Yet in the midst of all this, his very last words that he writes in this letter aren't, "It's so unfair!" His very last sentence of his very last letter is not, "How can this be happening to me? I tried so hard. I was faithful!" Instead, what are Paul's very final written thoughts, his very last recorded words? Look at this. He greets some more old friends, people he loves. And then what are the last recorded words we have of the great Apostle Paul? "Grace be with you all." Is that perfect? The last thing he writes about is what he was always all about. And that is grace.

You see, every single relationship you will ever have in your life is going to be quirky and inconsistent and up and down except for one. And that's your relationship with Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ, the ultimate friend, the perfect friend. There's only one relationship that is always consistent, only one friend who never leaves you, only one friend who is always at your side. And in fact, when Jesus was with the disciples, there's only one time that he told them, "Where I'm going right now, you cannot come with me." And that was when he died on the cross for our sins, when he truly became a friend of sinners, the ultimate friend.

And he says, "Although there, we deserted him. Although there, we were his adversaries." He says, "Father, forgive them." And he makes us not just his proteges, but his peers. He says, "I no longer call you servants, but friends." He makes us co-heirs with him. Isn't that amazing? That's how much friendship with you meant to him, that he went to those lengths to buy it for you, 100% by his effort, by his grace. That's how much he loves you. And the more you own that, the more this captivates your imagination, the more this just entrances you and puts down roots into your soul, the more you will lavish grace on every single relationship, because you'll know in your heart of hearts that the grace of God is with you.

See, that's the bottom line for Paul. It's always all about grace. The grace of God showered on you, the grace of God lavished on you, so you can lavish it on every other relationship you've got. Let's thank God for that grace right now. Would you buy your hats with me? I just want to invite you to say right now, "Grace of God, be with me." Maybe for the first time, you want to pray, "God, today I just want to give you my life. Thank you that you loved me so much. You said I no longer call you servants but friends, and I rejoice that I'm a friend of God today. God, you had every right to oppose me. I'm a sinner. But instead, you chose to envelop me with your freely given love. You gave your life for me and you rose again so I can be with you always. That's how important my friendship is to you. God, I am overwhelmed by this. My mind reels at this. I just want to run into your arms right now and revel in your lavish grace and help me to lavish it on all of my relationships. In Jesus' name, amen.