Myths and Truths About Prayer

Our Father, which art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done in earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For it finds the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen.

Well, let's dig into the Lord's Prayer this morning, the most famous prayer ever. You know, a lot of us grew up reciting the Lord's Prayer, even in church. Some of us even grew up in churches where on an almost weekly basis, the pastor would say something like this. And so we pray as you taught us to pray, and then we would all say the Lord's Prayer together. Raise your head if you grew up with a tradition like that. A lot of us here.

Well, I kind of like that idea. And so we're going to revive that tradition for at least a week today, and all say the Lord's Prayer together at the end of the message. But first, let's look at the words of the Lord's Prayer, and let's see what they actually mean. Grab your message notes that look like this. We are in a series that we call Authentic. That's been our summer series looking at authentic prayers in the Bible, seeing what they say about authentic spirituality. We are almost at the end of this series. Just got one more week.

And so I want to quickly give you a little sneak preview of what comes next. Our fall series here at TLC, Acts Odyssey. It's our series in the book of Acts. We actually traveled to the places in the world where the book of Acts happened to create church and small group lessons. We went to Turkey. We went to Greece. We went to Israel. We went to islands in the Mediterranean to get historical background on how the book of Acts reveals how Christianity began. This is going to inspire you through tough times. It'll increase your faith. It'll challenge you. It'll open your mind. I'm really excited about it.

Acts Odyssey, in one week, small group signups start in two weeks. It's preview weekend. And in just three weeks, it is week one of Acts Odyssey. And I am hoping that the whole church would not only get into the weekend services on this, but get into the Bible studies, the small groups, the daily devotions, so that in about two months, we will all have read every word in the book of Acts. It is very inspiring. So just be praying that God moves here in real book of Acts ways.

Speaking of which, here's a book of Acts thing, I think. Aromas Bible Church, little church in Aromas down in South County. For the eight weeks of the Acts Odyssey series, we're going to partner with them. They're going to be hearing the exact same messages, having the exact same small group material. And so what I want to ask you is this. If you live near Aromas, would you consider attending Aromas Bible Church and/or attending the small group that will meet there for all or part of the eight weeks of this Acts Odyssey series to kind of help boost up that church? I just want you to pray about it for now.

Next weekend, we're going to have a signup sheet. Maybe this will become a permanent relationship between our two churches. They'll be like a venue service in South County. We don't know. What I do know is that they as a church asked us for help. And it seems like a book of Acts thing to help them out.

Now, this morning, we want to look at what Jesus says about authentic spirituality. And this is huge. I mean, think about it. Christians believe that Jesus is God in the flesh, right? Imagine that. God came to Earth. And so what would God say about how to talk to him? Well, in these verses, he says, you know what? There are some things about prayer that you guys think are really important. And they're actually not important at all.

And there are some things that you guys do when you pray that not only aren't effective but will actually poison your prayer lives. In Matthew 6:5–13, he essentially says there's some things about prayer that I just want to let you people know you've got wrong, two myths that will poison your prayer life. And almost everyone in this room at one time or another falls into these myths.

First one, prayer is about performance. You are performing in some way or another in front of people. You say, I don't do this. Well, I ever do this when the prayer circle thing is happening. And you're all holding hands. And nobody said it. But you can tell it's working out so that everybody is praying in order around the circle. And now you are doing the dreaded prayer countdown. And it's coming closer and closer to your moment. And you're panicking. You're feeling anxiety because you feel like I'm going to choke when it gets to me. What am I going to say?

And so the suspense builds. And you stop listening to what people are saying. And you start to plan out your prayer, right? You say, I'm going to say, Lord, thank you for our children. And bless them. And then the person next to you says, Lord, thank you for our children. You think that was mine? Now what am I going to say? Now are you in the moment? No, it's not prayer. It's something like religious improv, right?

Well, the religious leaders of Jesus Day had perfected performance prayer to an art. Jesus says in Matthew 6:5, "And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites. For they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. I tell you the truth. They have received their reward in full." Now what is he talking about? It's interesting. The word he uses here for hypocrite, we think of that as a religious word. Actually, in his day, it was not a religious word. It was a Greek word also used for actor.

2,000 years ago in Jesus' time, acting was huge. There were actors everywhere. Professional actors. The Romans had built huge theaters in every city. There were hundreds of these beautiful structures. And actors would wear these big masks that looked like cartoon masks. And they would literally stand on street corners on the morning of a show. And they would do what amounted to movie trailers. And they would do the first few minutes of a play and leave everybody hanging and say, if you want to see what happens next, come to the theater tonight, just like movie previews today.

And Jesus is saying there are people who love to pray to be seen and applauded like actors. He's saying their spirituality is not real. It is an act. In fact, it's a big mask to cover what's really going on in your hearts. He wants your prayers to be authentic. He says, but when you pray, go into your room. Now, hang on just a second. Go into your room. Don't misinterpret what Jesus is saying here. You can pray anytime, anywhere, of course.

You can pray on the freeway. God, let there be no traffic on Highway 1 this morning. That would be a miracle, apparently, even on Sunday. You can pray on the way to school. You can pray at home when your kids are driving you crazy or you're worried or something. So hear this. He's not saying you cannot pray out there in the busyness of life. What he's saying is this. And if you miss everything else this morning, don't miss this.

He's saying, I want to teach you how to get something out of prayer that maybe you've never gotten out of it before. You have to have sometimes, when you go into your room and close the door, his point being, I want you to move beyond where you've been, where your prayers are always in the hustle and bustle and the high adrenaline stress of life. Take some time by yourself to not multitask.

We are in a multitasking culture right now, aren't we? Take some time by yourself to not multitask and just focus on your conversation with God. It's kind of like marriage. If the only conversations Laurie and I ever had were, what time's dinner? Who's picking up the UPS stuff? When are we going to see our grandson again? If that's our only conversation, what happens? I'll tell you what happens because it happens to Laurie and me. Suddenly, we look at each other and go, I know we see each other every day, but we feel distant. I don't feel the connection.

And that's why Laurie and I-- and if you're married, I hope you do this too-- we take deliberate time to go away for a day or two to Monterey or to San Francisco to have those long conversations over dinner, not just dealing with life kind of conversations. And Jesus is saying, you need that time of connection with God. If all you've ever got is the busy to-do list conversation with him, just like in a marriage, your relationship's going to grow cold.

So you need that time where you go into your room, you don't multitask, you just focus. And then he says, pray to your father who is unseen, and then your father-- read the rest of this verse with me-- your father who sees what is done in secret will reward you. Reward you? There's a reward. Some of you are going, now, that's what I'm talking about. Are you saying that's what I've been doing wrong? That's why I don't get what I've been asking for? I've got to go into my room, close the door. OK, I've got to get-- no, he didn't say you're going to get whatever you ask for if you do this formula.

He said there is a rich reward to praying like this. What is it? Well, I'll talk about it at the end of the message. And then the second myth is this-- prayer is about technique. Some kind of technique. And this myth is so common in American culture. We think everything can be cured if I only knew the right technique. And if you don't believe me, go, when you leave church today to Safeway or to Rite Aid or to any other store where they have a magazine rack, and look at the cover of almost every single magazine, it's going to give you a number and then techniques for solving some problem in your life.

That is just what magazines are all about. Here's five techniques for solving your marriage crisis. Here's seven techniques for improving your sex life. Here's eight techniques for getting shiny hair. And if you don't do those techniques, you're missing out. And so there's a bunch of books that you can get on Amazon about prayer techniques, because we solve everything with technique in this culture. But this will poison your prayers.

Look at the next verse. "And when you pray, do not keep on--" what? "--babbling like the pagans who think they will be heard because of their many--" what? "--words." Jesus is saying it's actually not about the words. It's actually not about how you do it. Jesus is saying, if you humans think I'm looking for certain words or a certain formula or a certain type of prayer, you've got to do it right. And this way, then you don't understand what prayer is all about.

Now, this is huge for me, because I'm one of those people who grew up in church. And frankly, I grew up thinking, I got to do this prayer thing exactly right, or it doesn't work. And the reason I don't get what I ask for sometimes is because I must not be doing it right. I remember having little debates with my friends in junior high group about, you know, you have to start Heavenly Father, because Jesus said that you have to start like that. And you have to end with, in Jesus' name, amen, because if you don't, it doesn't work, the right words.

And I knew some guys at our church over in Los Gatos who could pray these amazing prayers. And they would always slip into almost this affected accent when they did. "Lord, we beseech thee as woeful sinners, thou holy and anointed Heavenly Hallowed Father, and I'd listen to them and I think, that is so impressive. My prayers, by comparison, are just junk. And it was demoralizing." You ever felt like that when you're up against a real champion blue ribbon prayer? But Jesus is saying, don't worry about the words. Best prayer I ever heard? My little three-year-old daughter, Elizabeth, years ago, we went to pray, and she knelt by her bed, and she breathed a deep sigh, and she said, help me, Jesus, amen. Got into bed. That was it. Best prayer ever.

What Jesus is saying is this, the pressure is off. Don't worry about praying right. Just pray. It's not about technique. It's not about performance. So what is it about? Verse 8, watch this. "Do not be like them, for your father knows what you need, before you even ask him." Have you got a pencil or a pen circle? Knows what you need before you ask him. Now, if your response to that, honestly, is kind of like, well, then why am I praying? You know, if he already knows what I need before I ask him, then-- now, just look at that verse at the bottom of page one for just a second, because I want to say something.

If that is your honest response to this, when you hear that, then you are on the verge of an incredible breakthrough when it comes to prayer. If you're asking right now, if he already knows what I need before I say it, what am I going to say in my prayers? All right? What's the point? Then you are on the brink of seeing that there is something about prayer that maybe you have never experienced before. What is it? Here is the key word. Notice all the times in this passage that Jesus uses the word "father," your father, our father, over and over. Jesus loved to call God "father." In fact, Jesus calls God "father" over 60 times in the gospels.

Now, of course, he is not saying that God has gender. He's making a point, and it is this-- authentic spirituality. The kind of spirituality that God is looking for is not about performance. It is not about technique. It is about a relationship with your father. Now, stay there for just a second here. And when you're done writing down relationship, look up here, because I just want to acknowledge that for some people, thinking of God as a father is a huge problem.

Listen, every time I talk about God as father, every time, at least one person and usually more come up to me and say, you know, when you talk about God as father, I can't go there. And they tell me things like, my dad was abusive. My dad left us. My dad was absent. My dad was brutal. My dad was discouraging. My dad's impact on our family was a net negative. Well, let me suggest something. Don't gauge God by your father. Gauge your father by God. Does that make sense? God sets the example for what a father really is.

And what you long for deep inside a daddy who loves you and gives you strong advice and protects you and never leaves you, well, that's God. What Jesus is saying is this. The most important thing in your life is your personal relationship with God. Because everything else flows from that one thing. And that's why prayer is so important. It's about relationship.

Now, for some of you, this is too vague, a relationship. How do you have a relationship with, as Jesus said, your father who is unseen? How do you have a relationship with the invisible God? Well, Jesus anticipates that question. He goes, well, it's kind of like this. Here's how to develop your relationship with God. And that's when he gets into the Lord's Prayer in that context. And these are some of the most familiar verses in the Bible. And I love them. But this is not a formula. It's not a good luck charm. It is an example, a reminder, of how to pray so that we have this relationship with God developing.

And he talks about three things, really. He says, when you pray, the first thing you do is adore. You adore our Father in heaven. Father, hallowed be your name. He's saying, don't start with you. Start with a father. Tim Keller says it like this. Think about who God is until your heart is dazzled. I love that. Recognize who it is that you're talking to. Because when you begin to understand who it is that God is, then you have more peace. Hallowed be your name. That means honored is your name. I honor you. You are holy. You are awesome.

Jesus is saying, you start there. Because the more time you spend acknowledging, pausing, inhaling, meditating on the identity of God the Father, the more confidence you're going to have that he is going to do the best thing about all those urgent needs that you can't wait to tell him about. Now, my guess is that your prayers are a lot like mine tend to be. If I'm honest with you, what I tend to do in my prayers is rush in and say something like, heavenly Father, and I say that because I remember Jesus said something about that. And now, here's all the stuff that's a drag in my life that I want you to sort out for me. And I spend most of my time there.

And Jesus is saying, René, that's fine. Bring all those requests to me. But remember to start with, God, you are great. You are beautiful. You are gracious. You are so much bigger and wiser than I am. Now, some of you, because we're an American, we're all about techniques, are going, OK, start with adore. How much time, René? Five minutes? Let me write that down. It's not about the amount of time. It's about just get reoriented. It's just pause to think, I have been invited into the presence of the most holy God.

And what you do is you look at him like a child who just lives in love, who basks in the love of his father, looks at his or her father or grandfather. For example, you have this look on your face as you adore God. I just think it's an appropriate example. But it is, though. Jesus is saying, stay there for a minute, because that affects everything else about how you see your needs and your whole life.

Now, the next part might be the very hardest part of the whole entire prayer. This is where the wrestling match inside of you happens. Number two is to align. You align your will with God's will. Your kingdom come. Your will be done on Earth as it is in heaven. Note, your will be done comes before give us today. In other words, before I get to the ask, I just want you to know, God, whatever your answers are, your will before my will, your kingdom before my kingdom. I'm surrendering all of me to all of you.

Your agenda for my family comes before my agenda for my family. Your agenda for my work. Your agenda for my time today. Your agenda for the interruptions I experience today. Your agenda for the ministry opportunities that will be put before me today comes before mine. This is so important, because sometimes-- would you agree with us? Sometimes a loving father has to say no to his kids, right? How many of you who are parents or grandparents have ever had to say no to your child? Can I see a show of hands? Right? Sometimes dad has to say you can't have that, because that would electrocute you, or whatever.

I'll never forget what time we were camping up at Big Basin. And we were with another family in the church, and our kids were real little, Jonathan was five, Elizabeth was three and Jonathan comes in. It was real early and it was about 5.45 and the rest of us were sleeping and we hear this whisper at the door of our zipped-up tent, "Mom, dad, mom, dad!" What is it? We just want one thing. Who? What are you talking about? Roger and I just want one thing and then we will let you sleep. What? What do you want? Just one thing. What is it? What do you want? The matches.

So, unzip the tent, I look out and Jonathan and Roger had this pile of what they called pinecone bombs. They were dried pinecones with pinecone needles stuck in the top of them and what they wanted to do was light them all on fire and shuck them into the forest. Sometimes, fathers have to say, "No!" And what this prayer is saying is, "God, you know what? I don't know what matches for me. God, I know how I want my prayer to be answered, but I believe that you know best how to answer my prayer." This is so important because if we're honest, a lot of us pray this and I got this from Andy Stanley who has a great message on this.

A lot of us pray, "My will be done. My kingdom come on earth. Who gives a rip about heaven? Give me this day all I can consume and all I want and all I desire and lead me not into temptation 'cause I can find it all by myself, amen." Right? And this is why, you know, in the 12 Steps of Recovery, turning my will over to God because I'm powerless over my self-destructive tendencies absolutely comes first because otherwise I'm still playing God in my life.

Now, one other thing about this amazing little phrase, "Your kingdom come." As Adrian mentioned in his prayer, this weekend is the 15th year since 9/11. And it feels like every other day there's some kind of momming or something, right? Ever look at the news and go, "What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to respond to all this violence?" Well, the best thing you can do is to start to pray, "Your kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven." Because it reminds you of the promise that God is bringing his kingdom into the world, a kingdom of love and of beauty and of grace that is for sure one day it will be here fully and we're the ambassadors of that guaranteed future kingdom.

And that means we now start to live as if heaven was already on earth. And that means forgiving and loving and giving. So to pray, "Your kingdom come" means to pray for world peace, it means to pray against social injustice, it means to pray against racial division, it means to pray against violence. "Your kingdom come God on earth as it is in heaven." And so Jesus says, "You wanna know how to pray? I'll tell you how to pray." Adore God and then the next logical thing, align your will to that God. Say, "I surrender to your power, I surrender to your wisdom, I surrender to your will." Before you even get to the ask, you say, "God, I've got a boatload of worry here and I'm gonna ask you about it." But before I even get to that, I wanna adore you and I wanna align myself and say, "Your will be done."

Now some of you are going, "I don't know how to adore and align." You know, every week we have daily devotions attached to your message notes and this week's daily devo is there for this week. They're all about doing this. Every day what we have you do is just pray through the Lord's prayer again and adore God and align your will with God and then finally, you get to number three which is the ask. And this is what we usually start with, isn't it? Verse 11, look at this. "Give us today our daily bread." Finally, it's our favorite word, give. Give us today our daily bread. You're saying, "I really can only live one day at a time." So for this day, meet my needs. It's a declaration of dependence.

And forgive us our debts as we have also forgiven our debtors. We tend to pray a lot about forgive me, which is good. But you know, we leave out this last part and Jesus makes a very big deal about you forgiving everybody who hurts you. In fact, right after this prayer, the very next thing Jesus says is, "If you do not forgive others, your father will not forgive you." Chilling. But I think what he's saying is that the surest tell that you are in fact not surrendered to God is that you're harboring grudges. The surest way to know if I'm in alignment with God's will is if I'm forgiving those who hurt me.

Because if you're holding a grudge that's showing something because it's impossible to keep a grudge without some sense of self-righteousness. It shows you're out of alignment, like a car that's out of alignment. You need to be aligned again to God's will. And then you say, "And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one." Again, a declaration of dependence. God, I can't fight sin on my own. I need you to protect me from my sin, the sin of others, the temptations that are around me, the temptations that are within me.

Here's what this prayer is saying, and I put this in your notes. Father, make me the kind of person who walks through each day, each day, awestruck by you, assured you have a plan for this world. Yielded to your will, absolutely confident, you're going to provide for me this day. Certain I'm forgiven, and so always forgiving when I am hurt, and always turning to you, always turning to you when tempted or threatened.

Now, can you imagine what that kind of person would be like? A person that humble, a person that confident, that relaxed, Jesus is saying, "That is what a person who has a relationship with God looks like." They don't look like some uptight religious person. They look like that. Who wouldn't want to hang around a person like that? Who wouldn't want to be influenced by a person like that? And that's what you are asking to become when you pray the Lord's Prayer.

Do you see the big picture of what Jesus is painting here about prayer? He's saying it's so much richer than just going, "Father, give me." And he's saying, "I have a feeling you're missing that." It's kind of like this, I remember this last January, I was in Texas, and I met a guy who said, "Oh, you're from the Northern California? Ah, been to San Francisco, didn't do much for me." And so I'm kind of a fan of San Francisco, and I said, "Oh, where did you go?" And he goes, "Pier 39?" That was just a big shopping mall. We got those in Houston. Went there and I thought, "Ain't nothing special here." The end, right?

And so I said, "Well, wait a minute, wait. Did you see the rest of Fisherman's Wharf, like the crab pots steaming and the old fishing fleet and the submarine and all of that evocative stuff?" Nope. Did you get out of your car and walk over the Golden Gate Bridge and see the fishing boats beneath you hundreds of feet? Or did you walk over to the cliff house and walk along the side of the cliffs there? Nope. Did you go down to the ferry building? Did you taste the gourmet food samples? How about taking the ferry to Sausalito and seeing the prettiest little town in the world there? Or did you go to the Wells Fargo Museum and see that old stage coach? How about the cable car barn with those ancient steampunk wheels pulling the trolley cables underground? Or what about the alleys of Chinatown? Nope.

Well, man, you gotta come back to San Francisco. No, thank you, I did Pier 39, you know? So I punched him in the mouth. No, I didn't do that. But Jesus is saying this. He's saying, "Don't go, I tried prayer. This personal relationship with God stuff didn't do much for me when you've really only been to Pier 39." He's saying, "Yes, the ask part is in there. It's part of it. But don't go, well, I'm kind of embittered because I did ask God one time for something really, really, really bad and it didn't work out. Maybe you don't have a big picture of what prayer is really about."

If you think it's this little wharf in the water when it's a spectacular city, and the only way to see this spectacular city is to get alone and adore God and align with God, not as a checklist, but as a relationship. What is somebody that is like this? What do they look like? Well, next weekend as we wrap up this series, I'm going to introduce you to a couple of people that I think reflect this more than most people I know. Devon and Veronica Eckhart, many of you know them. They're from Twin Lakes. They live in Sacramento now, but Devon and Veronica lost their son two years ago, teenage son, to a drug overdose.

And I remember talking to them on the phone in the week after that happened, and they said, "Well, our prayer is, God, we don't understand this. It's an evil tragedy, but not our will, but your will be done even through this. May your kingdom come." And what has happened as they walk through that grief is remarkable. They've been on every major news outlet, on every major news network because of their story. Why? You'll find out next week. But you'll see people who, through turbulent times, have been surrendered to God and have seen God work through that so powerfully.

Now, you might be thinking, now, wait a minute, if Jesus said all this is how we should pray, then when did Jesus pray like this, right? Well, do you remember what he prayed the night he was betrayed in Gethsemane? Father, let this cup pass from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but your will be done. And on the cross, Father, Father, forgive them. He prayed for the Father to forgive you and forgive me because of the way he paid for our sins on the cross so that there's no more obstacle between us and God. We can walk right into the relationship that God wants us to walk into in prayer.

And so that we can experience, and here's the reward, we can experience the reward of peace, the reward of, as we talked about last weekend, enjoying God for his beauty and not just his usefulness. So let's just take a couple of extra minutes to go there right now as we pray. Would you stand with me? And let's stand together as we pray.

Our Father, Father, Father, amazing that we get to say that to God. My Father, my loving Father, you're so astonishing. Look at the world, you're so creative, so majestic, so masterful, so holy, so beautiful, so great. And to think that you look at us with adoration and love, it's just amazing. So God, we wanna pray not my will, but your will be done. We surrender to you. Please bring your kingdom to this world, this world of violence needs your peace, and let me be an agent of that.

Make me confident you will meet my daily needs, that you've forgiven all my sins. May I forgive others just as generously as you have lavished grace on me. May I listen, but the door closed in my room to what you have to say to me. And when I'm stressed by life, when I'm stressed by the headlines, may I remember to pray as you taught us to pray. And let's say this together. Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever, amen.