The Word of Love

Hey, before the message, just a quick update on our exciting 2020 vision projects. I'm really thrilled about this. God is just doing amazing things. You might have noticed these signs at our entrances this morning, another step forward in the county planning process. We are jumping through every hoop as quickly as we can. This sign kind of details like everything that we're hoping to do. And can I ask you to please do not add anything to this sign, like, and an ice skating rink and hot tubs. I know this church. I know I have to ask you not to do that, but we are hoping, hoping for a groundbreaking late this summer. It seems impossible, but then about everything about this project seemed impossible to me a year ago. Please pray that God continues to move mountains.

And Wednesday, I got this update from India. The orphanage classroom and clinic building groundbreaking is scheduled for next month. And that's part of 2020 vision too. So thanks so much for your support questions. You can email ruchelle@tlc.org. God is doing great things. Amen.

Well, we are so excited that you're joining us today, whether you're over in venue watching online here in the auditorium. My name's René, one of the pastors, and we are in what we call our crosswords series. We are looking at the seven last words of Jesus Christ on the cross as we move up toward Easter. We have these free books, daily meditations on the seven final sayings of Jesus from the cross. They're available at tables in the lobby over in venue. Please don't hesitate to pick these up. Also free music about the cross of Christ, free small group material. You can download it all at tlc.org.

Now, if you missed the first two messages, I just want you to go listen to them because the first word from the cross that Mark shared with us is the word of forgiveness. Father, forgive them for they do not know what they do. And Jesus talks about how you can find forgiveness in him. And then the second word from the cross that we looked at last week was the word of assurance, which is truly, I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise. And we talked last weekend about how you can know for certain that you are going to heaven when you die. And if there's any message that you need to hear, you need to hear that one. If you ever struggle with guilt or shame or am I doing enough for God, you can download it. You can pick up a CD to know the most important thing in life.

Now, today we're going to look at what I call the word of love in John 19:25–27. And let me just remind you of the scene so far. Jesus is exhausted. He has been through six all night, illegal, draining, unfair trials. He's been scourged. He's been beaten. And he's now on the cross, bleeding to death, in agonizing pain. The crowd is mocking him, shouting insults at him. All but one of the male disciples have scattered in fear of arrest and execution themselves. Only one of them sneaks back to the cross. Meanwhile, interestingly, the women have stuck with him. The women were there at the cross, courageous.

And now you might think, why weren't they arrested if the opponents of Jesus Christ were threatening to arrest the male disciples? Well, scholars point out that in that culture, most people just didn't even notice women. They were definitely not seen as threats. They were barely noticed. But Jesus notices them. In fact, women are sort of Jesus Christ's secret weapon. Women have been Christ's disciples from the very start. The first evangelist, the Samaritan, is a woman. Women travel with him. Women support him. Women listen in the front row when he teaches. Women are later first to the tomb. Women are even later witnesses of the resurrection. And here, again, they are there with Jesus, John 19:25. But standing by the cross of Jesus, after everybody else has fled, were his mother and his mother's sister, and Mary, the wife of Clopas and Mary Magdalene.

Now, I want you to stop just for a second there before we get to the rest of this passage, because we got to ask the question, who were the women at the cross? It's a little bit confusing because the four gospels all say that there were women at the cross, but they all have lists that are different. None of the lists in any of the four gospels are the same. So who were the women at the cross? Well, there's a little chart that's right there on the front page of your notes. That's in your bulletins. If you want to follow along, there's Mary, the mother of Jesus, listed there in John 19. Jesus's mother's sister, also mentioned there. And then Mark mentions Salome. Matthew talks about somebody called the mother of Zebedee's sons. John also mentions Mary, the wife of Clopas. Then Matthew and Mark talk about Mary, the mother of James and Josie's. And the name Mary Magdalene is in all three of the gospels, Matthew, Mark, and John. And then Luke just sort of gives up trying to name them. And he says, there were many women who follow Jesus all the way from Galilee who were also there at the cross.

So what's going on? Well, check this out, because most scholars think that some of these women were the same person. And it's no real mystery if you look at this closely. In other words, the woman that John calls Jesus' mother's sister may be the same woman named in Mark as Salome and named in Matthew as the mother of Zebedee's sons. Those all might be different descriptions of the same person. Or the woman called the wife of Clopas could also be the mother of James and Josie's, much like people call me René or pastor or the husband of Laurie or David's dad. Or if I pick up the phone and it's a sales call, Mr. René Schlaafling, there's all kinds of things that people call me. So it could be that there's as few as four women there at the cross or as many as seven or more than that. But the point is it's all women and one male. All the rest of the guys have taken off scared to death. Only John comes slinking back. He calls himself in the Gospel of John, the disciple Jesus' love, Jesus Christ's best friend, in other words.

And then suddenly, in the midst of all of the chaos, the story narrows down to just three people. It's like in a movie where suddenly everything else goes into slow motion and soft focus and all the noise kind of dies away and the camera tracks in closely on Jesus Christ who looks down from the cross and focuses and locks eyes with his mother Mary and his best friend John. And then we hear this very intimate conversation which is only recorded in the Gospel of John because John was right there listening to it. It says, "When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, 'Behold, your son.' And then he said to the disciple, 'Behold, your mother.' And from that hour that disciple took her to his own home."

Now did you notice here there's a very deliberate literary device here. There's three characters and there's three forms of the same exact verb, the verb for see. In English it's translated saw and behold and behold, but in Greek it's the same verb for to see or to discern. Jesus sees something and then he tells Mary to see something and he tells John to see something and that's the key to understanding this. That's our key to seeing why this story is in the Bible. It's here in the Bible to show you how to see, how to see the world the way Jesus sees it, what Christ like love sees. This is in the Bible to radically change your whole perspective on life. So be open to this because God could change the way that you see today.

What I want to do is I want to take each of these three people in this little scene and show you what they teach us about how to see. First of course let's start with Jesus. It says when Jesus saw his mother there and the disciple, which is by the way amazing isn't it, in the midst of all the pain, all the torment, Jesus sees somebody else's pain. He sees his mom's pain, the pain of her grief in watching her firstborn tortured and dying in front of her. But Jesus thinks about her pain and this shows me if I'm going to love like Jesus loves, if I'm in pain I'll still see the pain of others. If I'm in pain, see the pain of others. Did you know that the greatest pain in your life can also be your greatest pathway to ministry? It can really open your eyes to others who are also in need.

Now by the way why does Mary need help here? Well have you ever thought about the fact that Mary's husband Joseph is not mentioned in the Bible after Jesus is about 12 years old because apparently Joseph died. And in that culture the responsibility for taking care of the widow if there were no brothers-in-law goes to the oldest child and that's Jesus. But now Mary who's already lost her husband is watching her oldest child die. So now she's really up against it because with no welfare system in that culture that meant that Mary was based, Mary the mother of Jesus was basically destined to be reduced to begging on the streets if nobody takes her in. And Jesus sees this and in the midst of his own need he asks John to take care of her and the early church historians tell us that John takes her into his house there in Jerusalem until persecution there erupts and then John moves up to Ephesus which is now on the coast of modern Turkey and until Mary dies John takes her into his house.

Now you might say well, of course Jesus could see others pain when he was in pain he's the Son of God but you're called to this too and you can do this too. One of the best examples I've seen of this lately is this viral video from about just 10 days ago. It's a very moving news story from CBS News. Watch the screen. Our final story begins with a chance encounter between an officer and a gentle young soul. Steve Hartman met them on the road. Here at the Ohio Air National Guard Base near Toledo. This is the 180th fighter wing. Lieutenant Colonel Frank Daly still can't believe the honor recently bestowed upon him. It's incredible being recognized in such a manner. It happened at a cracker barrel of all places. As the security camera shows Lieutenant Colonel Daly entered the restaurant on February 7th for an early lunch. At about the same time eight-year-old Miles Eckert came in with his family. Miles in the green hoodie was very excited. He just found a 20 dollar bill in the parking lot. Just sitting there? Yeah. Did you start thinking of what you could spend it on? I kind of wanted to do the video game but then I decided not to. He changed his mind when he saw that guy in uniform. Because he was a soldier and soldiers remind me of my dad. And so with his dad in mind Miles wrapped the 20 in a note that read, "Dear soldier, my dad was a soldier. He's in heaven now. I found this 20 dollars in the parking lot when we got here. We like to pay it forward in my family. It's your lucky day. Thank you for your service." Signed, Miles Eckert, a Gold Star Kid. Army Sergeant Andy Eckert was killed in Iraq just five weeks after Miles was born. All the kid has ever had are pictures and dog tags. This is his wedding ring. Other people's memories and his own imagination. I imagined him as a really nice person and somebody that would be really fun. The dad he imagines must also love a good story. Because after lunch that day Miles asked his mom Tiffany to make one more stop. Excellent. He wanted to go see his dad and he wanted to go by himself that day. She took this picture from the car. Follow the footsteps and you'll see Miles standing there behind the flag. Presumably telling his dad all about it. And whether heaven hurt him or not. His good deed continues to impress here on earth. "You've read it more than once?" "I look at it every day." "The kid gave you a bigger gift than 20 dollars." "A lifetime direction for sure." Lieutenant Colonel Daly says he's already given away the 20 and plans to do much more. He also hopes that little green post-it will inspire other people across the country to give. To give as sincerely and dutifully as this father and son. Steve Hartman on the road in Toledo, Ohio.

That picture right there. Look at that. That is the picture of somebody in pain. But who's seeing somebody else's need. And you can see there that is such a healing thing to do. It seems so simple. Jesus notices Mary. But I want to point out that one of the best ways to love somebody is just this. Notice them. Love notices. Love pays attention. Attention. Eye contact. That's one of the greatest gifts that you can give members of your own family. You can't love somebody without paying attention. And he doesn't just pay attention. He actually meets her needs. You know, I think Jesus does this for a couple of reasons. Even on the cross, Jesus is demonstrating his divinity. And he's showing this to demonstrate how he perfectly keeps the law of God. In Deuteronomy, the first of the Ten Commandments is honor your father and mother. In fact, let's read this. Would you just read that phrase out loud with me? Let me hear you. Honor your father and mother. I wanted you to read this because you'll notice there's no expiration on this commandment. It does not say honor your father and mother while you're a little kid. It doesn't say honor your father and mother while you live under the house. Even as an adult, even as a dying adult, Jesus kept the commandment of God perfectly. And he kept honoring his mom.

So Jesus is showing this to show how he keeps the commands of God perfectly. But Jesus is also demonstrating his divine character because one of the ways God's described over and over and over again in the Hebrew scriptures, like in Psalm 68:5, a father to the fatherless, a defender of the widow, is God in his holy dwelling. And because Jesus is God, that's his heart too. For the widow, for the fatherless, for the orphan, he's in pain. But he's still God. He's still as the character of God. He's still seeing the pain of those around him. Now, that's Jesus, but there's two other people in this scene that Jesus speaks to. And he says, "I want you to open your eyes in a certain way." So let's move our focus to the second character here, and that's Mary, the mother of Jesus. Because through her, Jesus is teaching you and me, "If I'm grieving, I need to see the help of others. If I'm grieving, see the help of others." He says, "Woman, behold your son." Now, by the way, when he says, "Woman," that is not a term of disrespect like it sounds in English, right? "Woman," right? This is a formal term of respect. And when he says, "To her dear lady, behold," he's saying, "I want you to shift your attention to something. I want you to notice someone who's standing right there next to you. He's going to help you now." Now, why is that important to you and me? If you are grieving a loss here today, I really want you to hear this. Jesus notices. And I think one of the reasons he brought you here to church today is he wants you to know he notices and he cares for you. And not only that, but Jesus is going to help you. He's going to provide for you. But listen, you have to see it. Jesus is saying, "You need to behold your sons and daughters." We're right here. We're right next to you. He's saying, "You need to open your eyes and behold your brothers, your sisters, your mothers, your fathers. We are here to be Jesus's arms to embrace you." It's so tempting just to isolate. When you're grieving, you don't want to behold anybody else much of the time. But God has put us here for you. Behold us. Open your eyes to us.

You know, here at this church, one of the ways that we want to directly help widows is through a program that we call grief share. Grief share is actually designed for people who, like Mary, the mother of Jesus, have lost loved ones. Now, again, if you're in grief, sometimes the last thing you want to do is behold the help around you. You just want to isolate. But grief share is a class that meets in the mornings once a week and in the evenings once a week. All the details are at the top of page three. You're a bulletin. But in case there are some people here who are widows or widowers or you've recently lost a parent or recently lost a child and you're thinking to yourself, "No, no, I just feel like isolating. I don't want to go to a group." I want to show you a video. This is from a sister church of ours, Seacoast Grace Church, down near Long Beach. And they have a wonderful grief share program down there too. And I want you to hear what three of their graduates have to say about their experiences there. Watch the screen.

My name is Tracy Garten and my husband passed away May 26, 2011. He was a police officer and was killed in the line of duty. My name is Shelly Baker and I lost my husband August 5, 2010. My best friend and my life fell apart that night with a phone call. Hi, my name is Chris Savaleta and my husband Hank passed away April 22, 2011. He was a captain for Long Beach Fire Department and was diagnosed with brain cancer at the age of 39. I was a little reluctant to start grief share. We were new to town and I didn't know anybody. When I first experienced grief with my husband dying, I went through a lot of numbness and shock and disbelief, denial. So to picture myself sharing in a group was kind of hard to imagine. My first thoughts were, "I don't want to be here." I'm sad. I'm angry. Everyone's going to be upset. They're going to be crying. I don't want to do that. I've done enough of it. But as I found out, it was the right place for me. When you're grieving, sometimes you need to cry and you need to cry and cry and you need somebody to hold you. And then sometimes you don't want to talk about grieving. You want to talk about anything else. And being with people that understand that, you can do that too. It's all okay because you understand each other. You need to be a part of the community. God brings you together for a reason. And unless you're there, unless you're feeling it, unless you're grieving, and even for those who just don't want to do it, you should go. I'll be the first one to say, "I didn't want to be there." But community helped in every sense of the word. There were four of us that really stood out in the group that I connected with. And we all lost our husbands. And so immediately we had that in common. And as we got to hear each other's stories and watch each other grow through the grief, there was a connection made. And then it was when the group finally ended that we looked at each other and said, "Well, we've got to keep going. We've got to meet. We've got to have meals together and go socialize and continue to be friends to each other." You know, you look at the faces of these women who talk about their grief, and now you see their laughter and their joy. And that's what happens when you find community. And listen, this doesn't just apply to widows like Mary the mother of Jesus. That's not the only kind of grief. Because you may be grieving not the loss of a loved one, but the loss of a relationship that you once had. And the person's still alive, but the relationship's broken. That's grief too. Or you may be grieving the loss of a job. You may be grieving the loss of a dream that you once had. You know, you need to connect with community. Behold your brothers and sisters. You say, "How do I even do that?" One great way to start is after every service here at Twin Lakes Church, there's people with name tags on. There are Stephen ministers. There are lay people who've gone through a six-month training course to help other people. And they're always up here after church to pray with you. That's a great place to start to connect, to say, "You know what? I'm in grief, and I need to behold you, my brother, you, my sister." And just say, "Please, here's how you can pray for me."

But then there's a third person in this scene, and that's John. And through him, Jesus shows me, "If I'm a Christian, I must see the family needs around me. See the family needs around me." Jesus tells him, "Behold your mother." He says, "John, open your eyes. You've seen her as my mother. Marry the mother of Jesus. Now look again and see her as your mother." See, for Christians, there's three levels of responsibility, right? There's my immediate family, and the Bible's pretty clear on this. Anyone who does not provide for their relatives and especially for their own household has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. That's pretty intense. So how about you? Do you need to pay more attention to your family? What are their needs? And then there's my spiritual family. Same chapter Paul says, "Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, younger women as sisters with absolute purity." See, even if I'm not related to you by blood, I'm related to you by blood. The blood of Jesus Christ. If you put your trust in Christ, you're my brother, my sister, my father, my mother, my sons, my daughter. So there's my spiritual family, but then there's also my global family. There's lots of verses in the Bible like James 1:27, "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless as this to look after orphans and widows in their distress." Again and again, the Bible specifically calls out the widow, the fatherless, the orphan as a group that God cares for, and I need to behold them. I need to see them, help them.

Now, how do I do that? I mean, look at this bullet list right now. Just think of all the people you could be helping right now. My immediate family, my spiritual family, my global family, that's pretty overwhelming. You can't possibly meet all of those needs, and neither could John, and Jesus didn't ask John to. There were a lot of grieving women at the cross. How many of them does Jesus ask John to take care of? One. You know what's interesting? Is John takes Mary into his home, and you have to kind of be Sherlock Holmes here to put this together a little bit, but I think there's clues when you look at the formation of the New Testament. The earliest books of the New Testament are books by the Apostle Paul, by Peter, by James, the first three gospels, and you just don't hear a lot from John. And all the scholars agree that his works, the Gospel of John, the Book of Revelation, and his letters, they all came at the end of the century. He wrote them long after everything else had been written. Now, why do you suppose that was? It's just a guess, but my guess is he's taking care of Mary. That's his responsibility. And then when Mary passes away, then John moves into the arena of ministry, and it's intriguing because it's after all those other works have been done, and it's perhaps after even all the other apostles have been martyred for their faith. And John's now exiled on Patmos, which is an island just off the coast of Ephesus, by the way, lending credence to the legend that he took Mary to Ephesus to live for a while. So he's taken to the island just off of Ephesus as kind of an island prison, but he writes his stuff there. When he's an old man, now he's ministering to the world, now that his responsibility to Mary is over.

Now, how does that apply to you and me? Jesus is asking you to do one thing right now. So listen to him. How's he opening your eyes? What's he showing you? Maybe a close family member's hurting. Unlike John, you need to focus on them for a while. Or maybe it's something broader right now that you're free to do. Maybe you've got a skill, maybe an interest that could help widows and orphans, single moms in this church. Let me just give you one example. Todd Patterson and his wife here at the church and some other men and women who know how to do car repair put together a team called Mom's Angels. Check out these pictures. You know what they do? They do car repair only for widows and single moms. And they do it for free here at the church. Check out these photos. Mom's Angels, they meet every six weeks. They work out of our bus garage here on campus. And that's their way of helping the widows and the single mothers here at the church. Isn't that awesome, by the way? Aren't you proud of these guys? I am.

Now, maybe you're thinking like me right now, I'm thinking that's awesome, but I am so mechanically idiotic that I am actually helping widows right now by not touching their cars. That's how I'm helping them. I can't do car repair. Well, there's lots of other ways to help. Look at page three of your notes. Flip them over where it says how you can help widows and orphans at TLC. I want to ask our pastor of congregational care, Dan Baker, up to the stage to tell us just a little bit about some of these ministries. This man currently has so many ministries he oversees that are care ministries. So let's just show him our appreciation right now as he comes up. Great to have him here, Dan. So there's lots of ways people can help. Let's highlight a couple of them today. Sunshine ministry is a great ministry to minister people who are ill or just out of the hospital or new parents. They provide meals. It's just a great way to minister to them. And you can sign up to get involved in that ministry today outside. The Deaconesses minister to widows. They do receptions for memorial services. They also deliver flowers to widows a couple of times during the year. We have a fairly new ministry called Home Aid, which is to help with projects around the house for basically widows and single moms. And for people who like to do carpentry work or skills around the house, this is a great way to get involved. You can sign up for that today as well.

Now a ministry which I want to tell you a little bit more about is Bridge of Hope. This is a ministry to low-income nursing homes. And I'm just going to read you a list of some of the things that they do. They do worship services, birthday gifts and celebrations, memorial services, holiday parties, pet therapy, outings for the residents, medical equipment that they provide, toiletries, that kind of thing, and scholarships for the Johnny and Friends retreat. This is an amazing ministry. And they are really putting hope into the hearts of these people. René and I both visited a man this week who is possibly dying soon. And when we talked to him, he was so full of hope and assurance that he will see Jesus face to face. These are wonderful ministries that I'm proud to be about.

You know, one thing I got to say about Dan is he's not only overseeing all these different ministries, but I will never forget many years ago, not long after I came here as pastor, that a little 12-year-old girl was sitting on these steps after one of the services. And she was crying and crying. And we tried to get her to say what was wrong. Dan and Val, Mark and I were kind of gathered around her. And her name was Jessica. And she explained to us a very dire family situation, which we looked into further. But at 12 years old, she had her head in her hands crying, saying, "I can't go back. It's not right for me to go back to that family situation." And so we were praying for Jessica and praying for a foster family to come in and help her out and bring her into her home. But that week, Dan and Guanda, Dan Baker and Guanda told the rest of us, "You know, we really feel like Jesus is saying, 'Behold your daughter.'" And they were able to eventually bring her into their home. And Jessica's grown now, but she's a vital part of their family. And I have to say, Dan, that act still to this day is so inspiring to me. And I appreciate that. So thanks. You're the real deal, man. Thank you so much, Dan. Really appreciate it. A lot.

You know, Jesus sometimes calls us to do that, to say, "Listen, look at this person. Behold your daughter. Behold your son." And we need to be open to that. And sometimes he leads you in other ways. You know, we're building that building at Little Flock Orphanage as part of our 2020 project. And many of you have met Dr. V.G. Kamoff. She was raised in India, but she became a Christian when she was studying at Berkeley. Of all places, right? So she says when she went back to India after the South Asian tsunami hit there on the southern coast of India about 10 years ago, and she saw all the orphans. She was in India for the first time as a believer in Jesus Christ. And she said, "I'd seen the suffering, but for the first time it was as if Jesus," she said, "was opening my eyes saying, 'Behold your sons and daughters.'" And V.G. said her life took a complete right angle turn. And suddenly she knew that her life mission would be to take in some of these kids that you see there at the orphanage. And then in our family, God really opened my wife's eyes to their plight, and we got involved in this place too. But the point is that Jesus says to each one of us, "Behold," in different ways.

The bottom line is this, to love people like Jesus. See your family around you, including your spiritual family. But I want to say this. You have to keep asking yourself, "What's my motive in doing all of this?" Because if your motivation is to get the praise of others, you might get it, but if that's your motivation, or if your motivation is to get the praise of God somehow, that's just not going to last. It's going to burn you out. You need much deeper motivation than that. Listen, I talked about seeing others differently through Christ's eyes this morning, but you need to start with how you see yourself. I want you to notice this is the third saying, and that's important, because I can behold other people with the love of Jesus, because even when I was guilty, I know that Jesus said, "Father, forgive René." He has no idea how guilty he is. I can love other people because even though I could do nothing to earn it, Jesus said to me from the cross, "Truly, René, you will be with me one day in paradise," and because I have already heard his word of forgiveness to me and his word of assurance to me, now I can put into practice his word of love, because I see myself as a channel of God's love. I love because he first loved me, and so now I can live a life of love just as Christ loved me and gave himself up for me, and so let's ask God to help us do just that.

Would you bow your heads in a word of prayer with me? Lord, thank you so much for your love for us. Help our love for others just to be a response to our conversion, to our deeply personal saving relationship with you. We just want to overflow with the love that you have lavished on us so freely. Our cup overflows to others. And we pray this in Jesus' name, Amen.