The Unforgiven

Well, Truth Stories is our ongoing message series in the parables of Jesus. My name is Mark. Hello and good morning. Good morning. Good morning to all of you both here live and on our live stream. We are so glad that you are with us. And yes, I'm gonna be preaching from this chair this morning because I've got a little inner ear thing going on that's messing with my equilibrium and creating some dizziness. And I'm getting better, but not quite there yet. So if I end up falling on the floor, don't panic. You'll know why. Some of you are thinking, Mark, you've been dizzy for more than just a week. By the way, if I also happen to get a little bit nauseous, those of you down here in front, fair warning. You're laughing now. But enough about me.

You may have noticed that these parables, while they are just little stories, they pack a big punch, don't they? And that is certainly true this morning. Today's parable is all about forgiveness. Now we like to talk about forgiveness when it has to do with being on the receiving end, don't we? Aren't you grateful for the Lord's amazing grace that He just lavishes on us just every single moment? Isn't it such a wonderful thing? Oh my goodness, we love that. Not quite as enthusiastic though when it comes to being on the forgiving part of the equation, you know what I'm saying? And I have to include myself in this because there's been times in my own life when I've allowed myself to hold a grudge, or two or three, by tolerating unforgiveness in my heart.

Now in all of these instances, whenever any of us are slow or unwilling to forgive, you know, there's a common denominator. And the common denominator in all of these instances is that we are right. You know what I'm saying? We're right. Someone hurts you or someone you love. There's no debate that a wrong has been committed. So you have the moral high ground. The facts are on your side. You're right. They're wrong. Which makes it almost feel kind of noble, right? To not forgive because you know, it's like I'm maintaining the moral core of the universe by not forgiving, I guess.

But I'll tell you straight up. After 36 years of ministry, 26 of those as a pastor, there is perhaps no greater area where our enemy trips us up than in the area of unforgiveness. This is true of professing Christians. This is true of long time Christians. This is true of even professional Christians like me refusing to forgive. You know, we like to talk about evil out there in the world but unforgiveness is an evil that shipwrecks lives and relationships in here, in church. I mean, let's face it. Are any of us perfect? No. You're sitting next to living proof of that right now. And by the way, so are they. Which means forgiving each other is an ongoing necessity.

And all too often, it isn't the actual offense that destroys a relationship, it is the refusal to forgive that offense that destroys the relationship. And we all know this. Unforgiveness is, it's drinking your own poison. Unforgiveness locks you in a self-made prison. Unforgiveness spreads like cancer. And just like cancer, it can often go unseen. At least that's what we like to tell ourselves until it wreaks havoc in our lives and beyond. And let's face it, none of us are immune from unforgiveness. Not you, not me, not any of us, not eventually that little baby, but maybe he is right now.

So let's go to today's scripture. We're gonna be in Matthew's gospel, chapter 18. Our focus is gonna be on verses 21 through 35. And if you were with us last weekend, we were in Matthew 20 and my goodness, didn't Pastor Valerie Webb do a magnificent job last weekend with her message? Thank you, Valerie. It was a wonderful blessing to me. And if you missed it, you owe it to yourself to go to tlc.org/sermons and watch her listen to it yourself. But today we're in Matthew 18, which is all about navigating relationships, especially when they go wrong. I'll say that again. Matthew 18 is all about navigating relationships, especially when they go wrong.

Now it begins with, the chapter begins with the disciples asking one of their very favorite questions, perhaps the favorite question of the disciples is right here. It says at that time, the disciples came to Jesus and asked, who then is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven? I mean, aside from you, of course, Jesus, but who's next? Who's like number two, right? Now you have bear in mind that the disciples were anticipating that at some point, Jesus was gonna go all Rambo on the Romans, kick them out of their place of power and repossess the land. So now they're vying for position in this new world order. They wanna, who's gonna be the greatest?

Well, in response to this question, Jesus calls a little child to himself. And in his day, people looked at little children as almost subhuman. Little girls were of little to no significance until they grew to marrying age. And then even then that might be a liability for their family financially. Little boys didn't have a whole lot going for them other than someday they grow up and be men. And so that's how they viewed little children. And yet Jesus says this, he says, I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Matthew records his kingdom of heaven because again, his Jewish audience is sensitive to saying the word God out loud. But kingdom of heaven, kingdom of God is the same thing.

And Jesus says, unless you change, you turn 180 from the sinful patterns and thinking of the world and of your own self, unless you change and turn from that and become, you are reborn, you become a new person, a new creature by the power of the Holy Spirit, unless those things happen, you will never enter the kingdom. And when that transformation happens, it looks like becoming like a little child, small, humble, dependent, and more. Because little children don't really keep long lists on each other, do they? You know what I'm saying? Perhaps you recall when you were a little child, I know I was this way, I'd get in a fight on the playground with a friend or something like that, red head with a chip on his shoulder, always looking for another fight.

And so eventually some adult, the yard duty or a teacher would intervene and break it up boys and they would say, now you say sorry, you say sorry, okay, I'm sorry. Oh, I'm sorry too. Then the grown up would say, all right, now shake hands and go back to being friends. And you know what? We would. I mean, moments before we're trying to punch each other with this light cell and it's like nothing happened. That's because children know how to let things go. Children keep very short accounts with each other. And that just might be what Jesus is talking about in the verses that come. Might be an interpretive key if you might say.

Well then Jesus goes on to talk about how precious children are to God and how terrible it is for anyone who believes in Him, a child of God, how terrible it is if anyone else were to cause them to stumble in their faith. And then eventually he gets to the settling of disputes among his children or people in the church. And well about this time in the lesson, it says at verse 21, then Peter came to Jesus and asked, Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against you? It's funny because his brother Andrew was right there too. Is this his little brother or just kind of brother brother? And then he says, up to seven times?

Now the conventional wisdom was that you were obligated to forgive someone three times. Peter's spending some time with Jesus. He knows that Jesus is generous with His grace so it's gotta be more than three. Maybe it's like six, that's like twice as many times. No, I got it. It's seven times, seven days in a week, seven days in creation, that's gotta be it. Hey, Jesus, Jesus, how many times shall I forgive my brother up to seven times? And he's kind of preening like he's number one candidate for greatest in the kingdom right then. Jesus answered, I tell you not seven times, but 77 times, what, come on, 77 times? Nobody ever forgives somebody 77 times.

And by the way, some of the older English translations translate this 70 times seven, which is a legitimate interpretation and so that's 490 times. What's the point? You don't keep count. You don't keep count. Unless of course you're a good legalist, then you just might, right? It's like, all right, 487, yeah, 488, oh, 489, 490. That's it, I will never, no more forgiveness for you, ever. What's Jesus say? Say, Peter, he can't apply math to grace, right? It's not a formula. And this is the great news of the gospel. I mean, aren't you glad that God's not counting our sins? Right, for me it'd be like, you know, 10,771, 10,772. Oh Lord, I promise I'll never do that again, 10,773.

That's the good news, as it says in 2 Corinthians 5:19, that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not what? Let me hear you say it. Counting, not calculating, not inventorying people's sins against them. Praise God that he does not stop at three or seven or 77 or 490 or 49 million, right? And this means that there is no lid on his forgiveness. There's no limit to his grace. And maybe if you're here today in this room or you're watching remotely and perhaps you think that you have exhausted God's forgiveness, you have just gone, you know, a bridge too far, I am here to remind you that he will never, ever, ever turn away those who seek his forgiveness because he never gives up. Not on you, not on anyone. Be encouraged by that.

And to hammer this home, Jesus is going to tell one of the most vivid parables of all, I'm gonna read it straight through, but before I do, I invite you to keep this big idea in mind because this is the parable in a nutshell and it goes like this. "I cannot detach the mercy I receive from the mercy I extend." Can't detach the mercy I receive from the mercy I extend. As it says in Ephesians 4:32, "Be kind and compassionate," remember that word, "to one another, forgiving each other," read this with me, "just as in Christ God forgave you." "Just as in Christ God forgave me." Does Jesus really expect that? Well, let's read on, Matthew 18, starting at verse 23.

"For this reason, the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. When he began the reckoning, one who owed him 10,000 talents was brought to him, and as he could not pay, his Lord ordered him to be sold together with his wife and children and all his possessions and payment to be made. So the servant fell on his knees before him saying, 'Have patience with me and I will pay you everything.' And out of pity for him, the Lord of that servant released him and forgave him the debt.

But that same servant as he went out came upon one of his fellow servants who owed him 100 denarii. And seizing him by the throat, he said, 'Pay what you owe.' Then this fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, 'Have patience with me and I will pay you.' But he refused. Then he went and threw him into prison until he would pay the debt. And when his fellow servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and they went and reported to their Lord all that had taken place.

Then his Lord summoned him and said to him, 'You wicked servant. I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. Should you not have had mercy on your fellow servant as I had mercy on you?' And in his anger, his Lord handed him over to be tortured until he would pay his entire debt. So my heavenly Father will also do to every one of you if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart.' Wow.

You know, 10,000 talents is a massive sum. It's equivalent to 60 million denarii. So, you know, for all intents and purposes, it's like a zillion dollars, okay? It's a number too big to really count. So when this first servant, but when this first servant, he throws himself at the mercy of the king and says, 'Just have patience with me and I will pay back what I owe.' The truth is there is no way he could ever repay the debt. Okay, never. Not in 100 lifetimes. And that's you and me before God. There's no way we could ever earn his forgiveness. There's no way we could ever pay back the debt because the gap between his holiness and our sinfulness is just way, way, way, way, way, way, way, way too wide.

So it's like saying, 'Well, just have patience with me and eventually I will jump over the Grand Canyon.' You're just given enough time. It's just not gonna ever happen. Even so, knowing this, the king takes pity on this servant. And pity in the original language here, it has to do with being moved in your gut because that's how the ancients, they saw the gut as the seat of compassion. We talk about our heart. They talked about their gut. And we sometimes reflect this when we say, 'You know, I just kind of had a feeling in my gut.' Or, 'I was moved to compassion.' It's a visceral thing. It's not just up here. We feel this in a physical way. And this king is so moved with compassion that he just forgives the debt, just like that. No fanfare, no. All right, well, first of all, you need to go do this, that, and the other thing to really prove you're sorry. No, no, you're forgiven, period.

So now, for this very same servant to grab another servant by the throat and demand payback for 100 denarii when he's just been forgiven 60 million of the same? Kind of missing the big picture, wouldn't you say? Yeah. 100 denarii was equivalent to about four months pay. So it's not like it's nothing, but it's certainly not like a zillion dollars either. It's a debt that you could likely repay given the opportunity, unless your fellow servant throws you in jail. And now your situation's hopeless. Now follow me. Jesus doesn't want to merely shock us with this parable. He intends to warn us. Jesus didn't tell the story to the pagans or the unbelievers. He told the story to his disciples, his followers, his inner circle.

So again, let's all just hear the words of the king when he says, should you not have had mercy on your fellow servant as I had mercy on you? You were so happy to receive my mercy. And now you refuse to do the same for others. Even though their debt just completely pales, in comparison to yours, you can't have it both ways. You're burning the bridge that you need to cross. And that's the sober message. That when we deny forgiveness to others, we're denying how much God's forgiven us. And so in response to all of this, allow me to offer three reflections, three things to ponder, and one application, one thing to do to put into practice.

And the first thing that we would all do well to reflect on is this. It's that nothing done to me exceeds what Jesus did for me. Nothing done to me exceeds what Jesus has done for me. And I say that knowing that there's a lot of pain in this room. There's a lot of wounds among those of you who are watching at home or wherever you might be. Believe me, I get that. I know some of your stories. There are people who have been deeply hurt. Some of you have been abused. People have taken things from you that are very precious. In some instances, they've even shortened the life of someone you dearly loved. And so I don't minimize the pain in this room. It's significant. It's weighty. But it does not eclipse what Jesus did for you and for me on the cross. When he paid our full debts in himself, all of it.

And not just that, but when his kingdom comes in all its glory, the promise is that he will wipe every tear from our eyes. He will heal every hurt in our hearts. And in that moment, everything's sad. Everything bad is going to vanish like a mist. Do you believe that day is coming? I do. I'm counting on it. And so by God's grace, may we live in anticipation and forgive in anticipation of that day, knowing that he will set all things right. Now, second reflection is this. Forgiveness is a requirement, not a request. When we're told to forgive, just as in Christ, God has forgiven us, that's not just advice. God's not saying, 'Hey, I thought I'd coach you a little bit. You might wanna try this forgiveness thing. You see how it fits your life. See if it works for you.' No, doesn't say that.

A parable could not be more clear. Freely we have been given. So freely we're called to give. Now listen, I am in no way suggesting this happens overnight. Forgiveness is a journey. But like every journey, it begins with a first step. That first step when I say so many words, I don't even know how I'm gonna forgive, but Lord, I want to. I choose to. That moment of decision that leads you on a journey of forgiveness. And perhaps for some of us, that moment of decision is today. What will be your response to the King's mercy? To hold your hand on another servant's throat? Or forgive as you have been forgiven. That's the question for all of us.

And again, to be clear, I'm not saying that things always go back to the way they were. Okay, our lives or relationship may look different going forward. And especially, hear me, if you're in some sort of abusive situation or abusive relationship, forgiveness does not mean that you go back in for more abuse. Forgiveness means that you let go of what you're holding against that person. You entrust that situation or that person to him who judges justly, that's Jesus, which may very well include Jesus using the legal system or the civil authorities to meet out appropriate justice. And if not, then ultimately, he will make all things right. But you don't live with the bitterness and the resentment that will imprison you. You let it go and you will be so glad that you did.

Because third reflection is this. Forgiveness is the key to freedom. To freedom. It takes the blessing off of your back freedom, the burden off your back. Freedom is a blessing, a gift for you. Do you really wanna be weighed down by what some person did to you in your past? Do you wanna give those people or that person power now still? I mean, haven't you suffered enough? You can be free. And all you really have to do is one thing. That brings us to our application. It's really complicated, it goes like this. Let it go. Let it go, whatever it is. And get on with the rest of your life. And I know it seems so hard, it is hard, but perhaps not as hard as you think. You wanna know why? Because Jesus will help you. Jesus will meet you. Jesus will empower you.

And so this is something that, he's not asking you to do something that he will not empower and enable you to do. And how do I know? Because this isn't just theoretical for me, this is personal, okay? It's personal. One time I was speaking at Mount Hermann and the other speaker that week was a guy named Ricky Jenkins. You might remember Ricky did a couple messages for us when we were in lockdown and so you probably only saw him via video, but he's a phenomenal speaker and a wonderful friend. And Ricky that week at Mount Hermann, one of the nights spoke on this very same parable. And early on in the message, he talked about how they were renting a house and the landlord basically cheated them.

And to make matters worse, that same landlord then circled around and sued Ricky and his wife, which ended up costing them several thousand dollars. And so he talked about his legitimate and intense feelings of moral outrage over being treated unjustly. And then he said something that just caught my attention. He said, 'And you know what? In all of this, we were right.' We were right. Right about the facts, right about being wronged, but we still had a choice to make. How will we respond? And when he said we were right, God used those words to hit me right between the eyes because it was as if his spirit was saying, 'Mark, haven't you been saying those very same words to yourself?'

'Oh, I'm right about that situation. I'm right about what that person did. I'm right about the facts, but I'm not right about my response.' God began to show me pockets of resentment and unforgiveness in my heart and insult here, you know, a wound there, grievances that I had tucked away while my attitude towards those people grew colder by the day. And yet God chose that evening to do some business in my heart. And by his grace, I knew, hey, I gotta let those things go. I gotta let 'em go. And so I praise God for using Ricky's message to penetrate my thick skull. And I have no doubt that the spirit was working in a powerful way in the room that night.

I mean, if for no one else than for me, and I gotta tell you, I have never been sorry, it has only been a blessing to be free of that kind of baggage, but I want you to check something out. Because this week I thought, 'Well, I should go listen to that message again by Ricky. It was so good.' And maybe I could steal some stuff, but that's between you and me, Ricky. Anyway, I was stunned at some point in the message because I heard something that I never heard that night. I want you to hear what he says. Listen to this.

Let it go. Let it go. I close with this. Unforgiveness is spiritual prison. With that landlord thing, I'm telling you, Mark, what Satan was trying to do was to get me locked up in spiritual prison.

Did you hear Ricky say my name? Listen one more time. Let it go. Let it go. I close with this. Unforgiveness is spiritual prison. With that landlord thing, I'm telling you, Mark, what Satan was trying to do was to get me locked up in spiritual prison.

Hello, just a little bit freaky. I'd known Ricky for two whole days when he said that. He knew nothing about my situation. He knew nothing about the things going on in my heart. And yet, when he mentions the very thing that gets my attention, the landlord thing, he then unconsciously calls me out by name. That was wild. Again, I had no idea. In fact, I texted him a couple days ago and I shared this little audio clip with him and he just writes, 'Bro, blowing my mind right now.' He doesn't remember saying it at all. I don't remember hearing it and yet, it was just confirmation. Holy Spirit was doing some work that night because, you know, pastors don't do that. We don't go, 'Have you been paying attention? Joe? Do you get my point, Sue?' And there he is, calling out. At least the one guy, I'm sure there were more, but I was among them, who needed to let it go.

Well, how about you? Is it possible that tonight or this morning, sorry, I'm dizzy. Is it possible that God is saying the same thing to you? You've been carrying it long enough. It's time to be free. For some of you, perhaps you need to forgive a parent. Maybe that parent's gone, but you still need to forgive them. For others of you, it might be a spouse or an ex-spouse. You just need to forgive and let it go. That could be, again, a friend, relative, employer, a child. Some of you need to forgive yourself. Yeah, Jesus already has. Now it's your turn. Let it go. The prison door is wide open, and Jesus stands there with his hand out saying, 'Come on, let's walk in the joy and freedom of your salvation.' Now, doesn't that sound good?

Well, let's go to him in prayer right now. Precious Lord. My simple prayer for everyone here, every man, woman, young person, old person, wherever we are in our stage of life, that Lord, you would so fill us with your grace and your mercy that we'd be so aware of how lavish you have been that it would fill us to the point of overflowing. And so it wouldn't be hard to extend grace to others because we are just so aware of how graced we already are.

May we be like people who have just plunged into a pool of pure water. It's so cleansing and it's so freeing and it's so delightful that we then turn to those who might just need a drop. And we'd be glad to give what we have received. And so Lord, for those who are just on the cusp of that right now, who are struggling to say, 'Yes, Jesus, that's what I want. I know I need it. I'm tired of carrying this burden on my back. I'm tired of carrying this bitterness.' Oh Lord, by your Holy Spirit, will you just help them to do the thing they know they need to do? To say, 'Yes, Jesus, I choose to forgive.' What's that person's name? Or organization or church or whomever, whatever. You know, he knows. And he says, 'You can be free.'

And Lord, to all those who want to begin the journey of forgiveness and healing, Lord, would you bring anything they need, another person or resources or encouragement or help or whatever it may be, Lord, I know that you will be faithful whenever we choose to follow. And so we pray these things with confidence and anticipation of brighter days ahead. For we pray this in the matchless name of our Lord, our King, our Savior, Jesus Christ, and all people said, 'Amen.' Amen.