Father's Day

Dave Dravecky, the famous pitcher for the San Francisco Giants. A 21st round draft pick who fought his way up the ranks to national stardom. Growing up, I had two heroes, Sandy Koufax and Vita Blue. They were left-handed pitchers. All I cared about as a little kid was I wanted to throw a baseball like they did. I would have to say he was a tremendous competitor. He had this tremendous desire to win. Some people are born with just gobs of talent, but they only use about this much. And with David, David had this much, and Dave used it to the full extent.

At the zenith of his amazing Major League Odyssey, Dave's doctors noticed a strange lump forming. Finally, they said, okay, let's just get it checked. And so we went to the doctor and had an MRI. We were in the waiting room waiting for the doctors to come back and talk to us. Outside of the room, we heard the doctors fooling around with the film, slapping it up on the thing. And then all of a sudden, the doctor said, oh my goodness, look at that tumor. It was cancer in his left arm, his pitching arm. And so the doctors came in and told him they believed he had a fibroid tumor at the base of his deltoid muscle. They would have to remove it along with 50% of his deltoid muscle. The doctors said Dave Dravecky would never pitch again.

But ten months after the removal of cancer from his arm, you don't ever use the word finish when you talk about Dave Dravecky because he's never finished. He stood on the mountain at Candlestick Park on August 10th, 1989, and he stood there. The magnitude of that night is unreal. It was more like a World Series game, the seventh game in the World Series. He got a standing ovation when he walked down by the bullpen. When he first started warming up, he got a standing ovation when he finished. He got a standing ovation when he went to the mound. It was just incredible to sit there. I didn't really manage that game. I just sat there in awe.

Dave returned to the mound to pitch eight electrifying innings for the Giants, leading them to victory. But then, five days later, on the mound against Montreal, Dave Dravecky threw the pitch heard round the world. The sixth inning, and I'm back out on the mound, and I rear back to throw a fastball to Tim Raines, who's at the plate. And all of a sudden, as I let go of that pitch, my left arm snaps in half. Here's the pitch, and Dravecky falls open. This incredible explosion in my left ear from releasing that fastball and my arm snapping in half. I went falling to the ground, almost went in shock. There was something going on in my life that was a whole lot bigger than baseball, so much bigger than baseball.

He stumbled on the mound, he threw a wild pitch, he's holding his shoulder. He was checked by the doctors and they told him the tumor had returned. His left arm shattered, along with his dreams of a major league comeback. The man with the miracle arm must now face the future as an amputee. But baseball was just a stepping stone to something much greater.

Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you very much. Oh, thank you. You guys are way too kind. Okay, please. I only have 30 more minutes, and I got about 45 minutes of a presentation, and I don't want Valerie getting upset at me because she'll tell Renée. And then we'll be in big trouble. And by the way, did you see what my wife... Hold on just a minute. Did you see what my wife said? When she was describing how much talent everybody else had and it was like this, but David only had this much. There are still issues in our marriage. Actually, these days, I hope there's a lot less issues. And that's why I'm here this morning, is to share with you why.

Because I have discovered some things on my journey through life with Jesus that have helped me to see the significance of a story that is being written over a lifetime and not just in a moment. Because you see, every one of us is on that journey together. And if you're here this morning and you don't know Jesus, I personally would want to invite you to step into that story that he's writing for those of us who already are there. Because I am convinced that it's the most beautiful story that can ever be written about your life when Jesus is in the center of it.

You know, over the past several years, I have actually had the privilege of coming here more than once to speak to you. And I want you to know that you are the only church in America that has invited me to be here more than once. And so, I don't know whether or not you're crazy or what, but I think it might have something to do with Giants fans. And we don't want to talk about last night; that was not very pleasant, but the night before was a lot of fun. That was amazing.

As you know, the first time I was here, I shared with you my journey with Jan in discovering who Jesus is and what he means to us on this journey and in this story that he's writing and how we came to faith in Christ. And then I came back to talk to you about the journey through pain and suffering and to deal with the question, where is God when it hurts? Because as I've said, this journey is over a lifetime. And so we're going to have all kinds of experiences in that lifetime. And some of those experiences will be through pain and suffering, as most of us know.

As a result of that, we discovered when I shared that story that God is right in the middle of our pain and suffering. The only thing that happens in relationship to our story is that our circumstances change, right? And then, you know, obviously, coming back and talking to you once again, I think this is number four, coming back and talking to you again about understanding my worth as a man. And I want to land on something very important this morning for all of us. Because you see, none of this makes sense. None of it makes sense without this: God's word. None of it.

And so as we talked about and sang this morning about firm foundation and we said the apostles' creed, it revolves around the significance of the beautiful words that are in this book that invite us into that way of life that is more amazing than any other way of life, even with the difficulties that life can bring. And so I want to focus on his word this morning as I share this journey that I've been on. And I hope that it's more about the scriptures than it is about Dave. I hope it's more about the transforming power of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ than the Holy Spirit that dwells in us, those of us who believe, that is in the business of transforming us.

That's the beauty of this book. We shy away from this book, and I don't understand why. It is not complicated. It's a very simple message. And driven through this entire book is a theme, a theme of God's love for his people and the amazing grace that comes through that love. So I want to share a journal entry with you this morning. And I hope you enjoy the experience that I had. You'll understand where this is coming from at this stage of my life.

I was sitting outside on the back porch and I was observing some things while I was out there. These days at my age, I have a tendency to want to observe more of what's going on around me. You know, it's really interesting when you're young. We seem to just speed through life, and we miss so much. For you young people out there, slow the pace down a little bit. You know, it's okay to downshift every now and then and get to a place where you can at least smell the roses and absorb God's beauty around you. It'll remind you just of how amazing he is.

Every morning, my wife, Jan, will put out bread for the birds. Over time, the birds have gotten used to us sitting outside reading and spending time with God. Jan has even started naming a few of the birds. One is named Ruffles. He's a morning dove. He's a nasty dude. He thinks all the food is his. However, several other species of birds have figured out how to enjoy sharing in the food. A couple of things have happened over the weeks and months Jan has been doing this. One, they've developed a level of trust around us because they know that we are safe. And it's amazing watching the birds come back for more because they know it is good for them. It's for their survival.

Isn't this much like our journey with Jesus? I know this may sound crazy, but I actually admire Ruffles because he wants it all for himself. I mean, I could be a very selfish man sometimes and want it all for me because it's all about Dave. At least that's what Jan tells me. But what he doesn't understand, what Ruffles doesn't understand, is that Jan's desire is to share it with all of the birds because she loves feeding them. Go figure. Couldn't God be like that? He loves feeding his flock.

It's so beautiful to watch all the species of birds come together to enjoy the food Jan puts out for them. Some of them will fight over it; we're good at that. But the majority realize we can all enjoy the bread together. Watching these birds gather every morning reminds me of us, the body of Christ. We have the wonderful unique privilege of being fed by our Father every day through His precious Word. And although at times we too will fight over it from time to time, we get to enjoy the food He provides through His Word together as the body of Christ. This is our food.

Man shall not eat by bread alone but by every word that comes from the mouth of God, Matthew 4:4. That's what Jesus said to the evil one when being tempted in the desert. Man shall not eat by bread alone. In John 6:35, Jesus said to them, I am the bread of life. Jesus is the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst.

As we listened to the words of those songs that were sung today, our faith is not in some formula. Our faith is in the one who went to the cross to give us life and to die for our sin so that we would be forgiven. And in that moment of belief that this Jesus is who he says he is, the spirit enters into our life and transforms our hearts. And I am overwhelmed by the reality that our faith is around believing that Jesus is real. That he actually lived and walked on this planet. That he actually went to the cross and died a brutal death. And there's more than enough evidence that validates that.

And throughout the scriptures, we are taught that it's belief in him and the reality of who he is that saves. Because of what he has done for us on the cross, by sacrificing his life so that we could be set free from the bondage of sin. That, ladies and gentlemen, is amazing grace. That's why we sing the song Amazing Grace. And you know what's beautiful about that? What's beautiful about that is Jesus isn't concerned with the denomination of the church that you go to. Jesus is concerned with what you think about him.

So there are a number of churches represented all over this community that believe that Jesus is who he says he is, and it's in the power of believing in that person that saves. And so that has become a powerful theme in my life in understanding who I am. And so as we move into this space where we begin to discover some very important things about our life, and especially around Father's Day, we're going to see a picture of what it means to be a real dad. But more importantly, this is not about just dads. This is for all of us as we look deeper into understanding God's word and what he says about us and our relationship with him.

There's a wonderful man by the name of Jim Andrews who years ago I came in contact with through our ministry, Endurance. Jim was battling cancer. He had a brain tumor. And he subsequently passed from the brain tumor. He had three sons. And about a year after his passing, I went to his boys when we were writing The Worth of a Man, and I asked them a very important question. How would you define your father's worth? I was so grateful that they wanted to participate in answering this question. And here's what two of the boys said.

Kevin said, my dad meant love. Dads, did you hear that? My dad meant love. Some of the things I've loved most were that he cared enough for us that he would come home from work. Then he would spend as much time as he could. Almost every night he would take me to bed and he would pray and tuck us in bed. I also liked when he would wrestle with us. Those things meant a lot to me. That's some of the reasons I like my dad.

And then Taylor. This was so profound. My dad was very special to me. He loved me, my mom, and my brothers more than anything in the world. I loved him the same way. He showed me he loved me by every night putting me to bed and praying with me. There's got to be something to this, putting kids to bed and praying with them. Kevin says it. Now Taylor's saying it. I have to be honest with you, I feel very convicted by it because I didn't go in every night and pray with my kids. But you know what? It's okay. It's okay. I can't go back and change that. But there is something I can do about it today, even with a 40-year-old son and a 43-year-old daughter.

And then Taylor says this, when my dad was dying, he wrote the most incredible letter to me and my brothers. In it, he repeatedly said he loved me. You know what, dads? I forgot to say this last night. But I want you to know that if you're struggling, if you're here today, if you're struggling as a dad and knowing that you did not give your kids, maybe your adult kids, what they needed during that time, there is nothing stopping you from sitting and writing a letter to them and expressing to them how you feel. Do you know what that would mean to them as they raise their own kids? How powerful that would be?

It's amazing what he says next. Almost any man can be a father, but it takes a real man to be a dad. And my dad was even more. If you notice, these two boys along with their other brother Andrew didn't mention anything about their father did for them; it was about who he was and what he gave of himself to them. Isn't that what our heavenly father does for us? He gives himself to us, and all we have to do is engage with him as he pursues us, is not be afraid to engage with the king of the universe.

So if I were to go back and talk to my younger self, if we were to go back and talk to our younger selves, what would we say about who we are? What would we say? And if you're here and you're younger, hear these words because for 30 years I struggled with the understanding of who I was because I was living a life through performing for others to please them, whether it was through baseball or any other area of my life. I was living it to perform to please others. And I discovered that in the world of sports, you fail often. And that translated right into understanding that in life, I failed often.

But I was trying so hard to please God through my performance and my relationship with Him. And here's the thing that's so amazing. I don't know how I forgot this. Maybe many of you already know this. But at the time, I didn't. And it was 10 years ago that I discovered these truths. 10 years ago. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away. Behold, the new has come. 2 Corinthians 5:17. So ladies and gentlemen, do you realize what that means? We are a new creation. When Jesus went to the cross, he took the old self, that old man, and he nailed it to the cross and he gave us a whole new nature. We are a new creation.

I no longer have to live out of grumpy Dave. I no longer have to live out of moody Dave. I no longer have to live out of angry Dave. I no longer have to live out of frustrated Dave. Because I have been made brand new. And here's the beautiful thing. Paul confirms this again in Galatians 2:20: I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but who lives in me? Christ. Christ. Do you know, do you believe that you're a new creation? Do you know and do you believe that Christ actually lives in you? For the longest time, I didn't get it.

Here's what was really cool. For it is by grace you have been saved through faith. This, not of yourselves. It is a gift of God, not by works, so that no one can boast. And this is the verse that I love the most. Outside of God's grace and understanding that I didn't have to work so hard anymore to perform to please God, I was being set free from that. Not only does grace set me free, but it also reminds me every day, for you are his masterpiece created in Christ Jesus to do good works which he, God, prepared in advance for us to do.

How many here in this room believe that they're his masterpiece? Raise your hand. How many of you live like you're his masterpiece? Raise your hand. Yeah, I love seeing that. You know what I want to encourage you to do? Hang out with people who don't so you can show them what it looks like. Because that's what our life is to do. Reflect that we're his masterpiece. Man, how cool is that? You're his masterpiece. And here's the really amazing thing for me. When I came to faith in Jesus, the reality was that, and I understood that I got the Holy Spirit. Well, that was cool, but I didn't understand. Okay, now what does that mean?

Well, in these latter years, I've asked myself, if the Holy Spirit lives in me, and I'm his masterpiece, then what is supposed to come out of me? Me or the Holy Spirit? But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, self-control. Ah. Against such things there is no law. And get this, for those who belong to Christ Jesus have what? Crucified. Crucified what? The flesh. With its passions and desires. So now if the Holy Spirit lives in me, guess who I am? I'm the fruit of the Spirit. Holy smokes. I'm love, I'm joy, I'm peace, I'm patience, I'm kindness, I'm good, I'm patient, I'm self-control.

Yes, but as I said earlier, we're on a journey. And so Jan has this wonderful way of reminding her husband, look babe, you are his masterpiece. I get that. Celebrate that, honey. Revel in it. But you don't want to forget you're not quite there yet. You're becoming his masterpiece. And guys, that's what the Christian life is all about. It's a journey that we're all on, and it's a journey that we should enjoy. It's a journey that we should revel in because this is who we are. This is who we are.

So what I've learned, we are not performing to try and please God. My faith journey is not about pleasing him; it's about trusting him. And you know, it's really interesting, the scriptures also help us there. And without faith, which is trust, it's impossible to please him. So I guess if I have faith and I trust him, then that must be pleasing to him. And I'm so grateful for that. The only problem is, how in the world do you trust him? And I think we just discovered by living out of who we are and trusting that he in us will live through us, through the power of the Holy Spirit, as long as we, in an act of volition, the desire of our will to step into that journey and actually let him work in and through us.

Because you see, we are so proud sometimes that in our resistance, we resist the Holy Spirit actually revealing these beautiful things about us to others. If we could go back, talk to our younger self as a husband, what would we say? What would Dave say? What would you say? Well, let me just sum it up in this. For a long time, as a husband, almost 30 years, I tried to fix my wife into the person that I thought God wanted her to be. I thought it was my responsibility to fix her because she needed fixing. Good night.

Oh, gentlemen, when are we going to wake up and smell the roses? When are we going to realize that it's not our responsibility to fix our wives? When are we going to realize that it's our responsibility to celebrate them and to love them as Christ loved the church and he gave himself? Are you giving yourself to your wife? Are you celebrating her? I know I didn't for 30 years, and it damaged my relationship with her. And here's why. Because I realized I was slowly taking away her voice.

Women, how many of you, you don't have to raise your hand because I don't want to embarrass you in front of your husband. But how many of you feel like your husband has taken away your voice? Who raised their hand? Oh yes, that's courage. I love it. That should be in the fruit of the Spirit too: women with courage. Amen. My wife no longer felt valued, and as a result, she struggled with knowing who she was and who she is. And you know what my role and my responsibility in my marriage as I love my wife is to help her feel valued, is to give her a voice, and in the process for her to recognize that she is his masterpiece. Amen. And as I remind her, she's becoming that masterpiece too. There's got to be some equal play here.

So, we understand the power of this. And look, I want to say something that again, Val's going to love this. I missed saying this in the service last night. Husbands and wives, I want you to know something. You do not complete each other. Do you hear me? You do not complete each other. You complement each other. He is the one that completes us. If you want a beautiful marriage, then each of you are responsible in this vertical relationship with him to grow in that faith and in that trust and in that love. And as you do for him, and he becomes the greater love in your life than your wife, it's amazing what happens to your marriage. And I'm so grateful that God gave me another chance. So grateful.

So dads, we're finally at you. And so if I were to go back to my younger self as a father, what would I say? What would I say? Well, I think it's pretty important to understand this: that I'm not the only one that's in the battle for our kids; it's Jan and I. And the most important thing is to get on the same page with your bride because as you parent, you parent together. And as we complement one another, it's really interesting to see where my strengths and weaknesses and her strengths and weaknesses, if we're vulnerable enough and come with those to the table, we actually end up complementing each other in those weaknesses because the strengths bring us closer together. But we have to acknowledge the weakness.

You know what, men? I want to tell you right now. You think you're strong by not being vulnerable. But I'm going to tell you, the weakest men are the men that are afraid to be vulnerable. You think you're strong because you are in control. You think you're strong because of all these reasons the world says we're strong, and in reality, it takes a man who is willing to be vulnerable to actually understand that in that vulnerability is when he is strongest. And I've learned that by being vulnerable, it leads to authenticity and a way of life that is so beautiful that in that authenticity, we can actually live in freedom. Freedom with the one who loves us, warts and all, as Jan likes to say.

And so when we get on the same page, it becomes a beautiful thing. And look, I know there are great resources out there that have been written about how to parent, but I don't know about you guys, my kids are very unique, and they're very different from each other. And some of that stuff in the books helps, but I want you to know that you gotta figure this stuff out on the fly. So much of it is on the fly, and that's why you have to come together and understand what your child needs together and work together in complementing one another as you parent. Be honest with your kids when you fail. Man, it is so important to say I am sorry because you will fail.

And when your kids hear their parents say I'm sorry, do you know what that does? Do you know what that does? It opens a door for you to continue to help shape the heart that God loves so much in that masterpiece called your child. So you're not just a masterpiece; your wife is not just a masterpiece, but your kids are masterpieces. What do we want to do with those masterpieces? Do we want to destroy them or do we want to build them up? Do we want to train them up in the way they should go? And even when they are old, they will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6.

Here's the other thing. Be a good listener, no matter what they tell you. When my daughter was a teenager, she would call my wife into the bedroom at about 11 o'clock at night. And about one o'clock, two o'clock in the morning, Jan would come back into the bedroom and she'd get in bed, and I'd go, babe, is everything okay? She'd go, yeah. I said, well, what did Tiffany say? And she would look at me and she'd go, go to sleep, you don't want to know. I was like, okay, I'm going to bed. And I would go to bed. And I didn't follow up with it after that because my wife understood that with Dave, I would come down hard. And this is the complimenting. She would give them space to actually express all that was going on.

And so today, my kids are more vulnerable than I would like them to be. As a result, they are very authentic. But in their authenticity, they are free to be themselves before God. And that's a beautiful thing. And by the way, I want you to know it's not perfect by any means. And here's a really good one. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Very convicting. I did a lot of provoking; as a result, Jan had to balance that out with her love and grace and mercy for our kids.

One thing I want you to hear and hear this loud and clear is that don't use the word punish around your kids. Please don't. Your responsibility is to discipline. And disciplining is discipling. It's training them up in the way they should go. And so understand your role is to give them wings to soar. To soar. So, remember this: children are like wet cement. Whatever falls on them leaves an impression.

So, in summary, as I'm about to close, I think the most important thing that I want to leave you with is this: that there's a beautiful community here at Twin Lakes that is so necessary and understanding, as Mark and I were talking on the way in from the airport, that it's not just us that become a new creation but it's you and I that are a part of that new creation. And that new creation is about encouraging and coming alongside each other as we go through life, not judging and criticizing, but loving and creating a safe enough space in this community to experience what God needs to do on people's hearts as he transforms them, not you. You're not responsible for transforming the heart of anybody. That's God's gig, not your gig.

What you're to do is create a safe place where God can do the work, and the only way you can do that is to love them right where they're at. That's the community that is here. I know it because this is my fourth time here, and they would have never brought me back if they weren't that kind of community. And it's so important for us to remember that truth. Never forget that you're his masterpiece. Never forget, never forget that your wife is his masterpiece, and never forget that your children are his masterpiece.

And as you do, if you truly desire to step into that way of life and enjoy it to the full, then get into this word every day. Ladies and gentlemen, I started reading this book every day and I've done it for the last 10 years. And I was challenged to do it for 20 years, and I failed miserably for the first 10. But the first time I stepped into this, and every day since, I want you to know something. The power of the Holy Spirit and the power of these words have transformed my life in relationship to who I am today. And I gotta tell you, I got a long way to go, but the truth is I am enjoying the journey for the first time in a long time. And it has been so much fun.

So get in the book, get in the book. How many here will take up that challenge with me? How many here want to step in? You got the rest of this year to contemplate starting in January; you're going to read through the entire Bible. How many here have done it? Raise your hands. Man, that is so cool. How many here haven't done it? Yeah, that's okay. Do you hear me? God's grace is sufficient. There's no condemnation or judgment; it's just that this is what he longs for you to experience because what you're going to do is meet and fall in love with the one who loves you beyond your comprehension.

Father, thank you so much for this time together. Thank you for this wonderful congregation and these incredible people who have grace for me as I go over once again on my time. But I'm just so grateful for this place. I'm so grateful for the people in this room, faces that I know and bring back wonderful memories and just the encouragement that I've received as I've spent time here with this sweet, sweet family called Twin Lakes. And Father, as we go from this place this morning, continue to draw people closer to your heart. Continue to help them see and be reminded that they are a new creation, that they are your masterpiece, becoming that masterpiece. Give them the courage to stay in the fight. Give them the courage to love their kids as you love them. Give them the courage to love each other, husband and wife, as you love them. And remind those who are here today who are lonely because that spouse is no longer here or there's been a break in relationships or fellowship. Remind them that they are never alone because you walk with them every day. In Jesus' name, amen.